End of Month Accounts

I feel I am about to start a new term, with an almost clean slate.

Many of the matters that were hanging over me during July and August (apart from the book) have been cleared up.

Harry, while not deliriously happy, is a bit sorted, with a job, an income, regular trips to a probation officer, and will be paying rent from the end of the month. He should be seeing a bereavement counsellor in the future.

Ned is back for a break, sorted with a new house, trying to get a job, and shortly going to re-start working.
So he's sorted, ish - because still depressed and low and anxious about the degree.

Finn has a job, part time, for weeks.  He's also able to go back and do selected bits of his A-levels, which is a good thing.  Much relieved to find this out!  And I didn't have to bribe them with a massive donation to school funds.

And Mark still hasn't finished his first Cambridge report, but our financial problems have been massively relieved by an influx of funds from my Pa.   As a result we are going to Naples for a week or so next month.  I am still in limbo about the book, but I have "peace" about it, because chatting to Tara yesterday, I decided not to self-publish in October.  Somehow this has freed me up mentally to start writing again, or at least working on research for the new book.   A complex multi-stranded story of 3 women who are in conflict with the authorities of their day.  Yay!  Misogyny through the Ages!

The New Family member

Since late July we have had a new family member, my nephew Harry.  The reasons why he is living with us are dramatic, criminal and sensational (by my standards) and they are not really my story to tell.  However, he came here, or rather I collected him from a homeless hostel in Andover on 20th July (when there was a full Moon in his birth sign, Capricorn, which suggests something has finally crystallised).  Originally my idea was that he would be here for a fortnight and then we'd see what happened.  By 6th August, when my father came over, with Coells, I had been impressed by how sensible and organised (relatively) Harry was, and how he had immediately set to to sign on and look for jobs.

The anger and disgust I feel at my brother's behaviour is appalling.  I was telling a friend about how he'd behaved and the consequences, and she had tears of sympathy for Harry in her eyes.  Dear thing!    The funny thing is, I haven't had a lot to do with H over the years, I don't exactly get on with his mother, and he appeared at Christmas and sometimes in summer and I seldom talked to him.  But I do remember when he was a child thinking what a short straw he and his sister had drawn getting T as a father and saying to myself "well, all I can do, is be there if they need me."  I had forgotten this vow until a week or so after I'd rescued Harry (I know that seems a strong word, but it is what I did).

 There was something very intense about my response, when I heard that he was sleeping rough I immediately thought I ought to get him (I had already thought I would ask him to stay when I heard he was in prison).Anyway, I feel it was a sort of unconscious memory of the historic vow that impelled me to go immediately, and overcome my historic torpor.    I didn't have any real doubts about it, I needed to check with M and F of course, but they were both surprisingly positive about the idea.  I realised that some of my Christian ideas must have rubbed off on them  as thet both felt it was the right thing to do.  There was no resistence, only a slight anxiety about the disposition of the kitchen knives, but nothing more.  When I suggested he stay longer term, everyone including Ned seemed happy about that.   In a weird way, although it means I have even more blokes hanging around, it makes me feel more connected with the rest of my family.