Many people are proud of the fact that they don't suffer fools gladly. It used to amuse me when I saw it in obituaries - he did not suffer fools gladly. What a vast expanse of possible unpleasantness that euphemism covered. Was the deceased a typewriter thrower? A serial sacker of minions? A man who made secretaries cry? An all-out psychopath with the moral sense of a komoro dragon?
Personally, I've probably suffered plenty of fools gladly, because most of us can't help being fools some of the time - and when we are, we need people to cut us a little slack. So over the years I've cut plenty of slack to dozens of people, and usually had some slack cut for me. I was rather touched at Strat's funeral, that the reading from the epistle was the piece about being a "fool for Christ" - something which a man of his tremendous intellect must often have felt he was and probably was often criticised by others for his faith, or "credulity". (I can think of at least one person I know who rather dissed him for that). I always like this verse: But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.1 Corinthians 1:27
Personally, I've probably suffered plenty of fools gladly, because most of us can't help being fools some of the time - and when we are, we need people to cut us a little slack. So over the years I've cut plenty of slack to dozens of people, and usually had some slack cut for me. I was rather touched at Strat's funeral, that the reading from the epistle was the piece about being a "fool for Christ" - something which a man of his tremendous intellect must often have felt he was and probably was often criticised by others for his faith, or "credulity". (I can think of at least one person I know who rather dissed him for that). I always like this verse: But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.1 Corinthians 1:27
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| Assorted fools and martyrs! |
Suffering people being rude or unkind is another matter. The complexity of this position is that it could be quite rude or unkind to give up on those being unkind/rude. It's like the old argument - should one leave the Party because one disagrees with its policies, or stay and fight to change them? Sometimes there comes a time when it's clear with people that change isn't going to be an option. Just recently there have been a couple of instances of people I care about having decided to throw their lot in with the unkind party.
The LO's behaviour last week shows that his wife's missionary work on behalf of unkindness & rudeness has borne tremendous fruit. At first, I thought his behaviour was cowardice on his part - not impressive, but understandable, not wishing to upset an insecure and slightly unstable wife who is presumably his major emotional support in a difficult time when he has lost 2 close friends and a brother. However,. choosing the path of least resistance, has resulted in unkindness and hurtful behaviour. In the past I've ended friendships with people who are actively unkind.to others, so why should I persist with other relationships where someone is only being unkind to me (because actually I do matter a bit!)? It's so out of character it's horrifying. What would his parents have said? Or his brother? But perhaps I am being unfair - perhaps grief unhinged him, sidetracked him from his normal politesse - or there were just people he wanted to talk to more - or whatever. I don't really want to speculate or excuse, because whatever his reason for his behaviour, it hurt.
But just as people can change for the worse, they can also change for the better - be better, redeem themselves endlessly through small acts of kindness, a momentary putting aside of the ego, a rest from the endless search for drama and excitement. However, in the present circumstances, I am reluctantly going to adopt the policy recommended (rather shockingly I used to feel) by Jesus..... and if they will not hear you, shake the dust from your feet. What they are not hearing, incidentally, is the command to "Love one another". This process doesn't mean you cease to love them, or adopt an unforgiving attitude towards them, simply that you don't waste your time and energy on them.
The LO's behaviour last week shows that his wife's missionary work on behalf of unkindness & rudeness has borne tremendous fruit. At first, I thought his behaviour was cowardice on his part - not impressive, but understandable, not wishing to upset an insecure and slightly unstable wife who is presumably his major emotional support in a difficult time when he has lost 2 close friends and a brother. However,. choosing the path of least resistance, has resulted in unkindness and hurtful behaviour. In the past I've ended friendships with people who are actively unkind.to others, so why should I persist with other relationships where someone is only being unkind to me (because actually I do matter a bit!)? It's so out of character it's horrifying. What would his parents have said? Or his brother? But perhaps I am being unfair - perhaps grief unhinged him, sidetracked him from his normal politesse - or there were just people he wanted to talk to more - or whatever. I don't really want to speculate or excuse, because whatever his reason for his behaviour, it hurt.
But just as people can change for the worse, they can also change for the better - be better, redeem themselves endlessly through small acts of kindness, a momentary putting aside of the ego, a rest from the endless search for drama and excitement. However, in the present circumstances, I am reluctantly going to adopt the policy recommended (rather shockingly I used to feel) by Jesus..... and if they will not hear you, shake the dust from your feet. What they are not hearing, incidentally, is the command to "Love one another". This process doesn't mean you cease to love them, or adopt an unforgiving attitude towards them, simply that you don't waste your time and energy on them.
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