While prepping the dinner, I was listening to an ancient cassette, called "party tape". I don't know exactly when it was made - some time between 1988 and 1993 I guess. I was listening to is and suffering the usual waves of nostalgia for things I shouldn't be nostalgic for at all...notably a bad friend of my ex-husband's who made a pass at me over the washing up. I don't really like him, haven't seen him for 20 years and don't in any way yearn for him, so perhaps that wasn't nostalgia - just an ambiguous memory.
The playlist included
Katrina & The Waves: Walking on Sunshine
Isley Brothers: This Old Heart of Mine
Supremes:: No matter what sign you are
Gaye & Terrell ? - I'm going to make you love me
Wet,wet, wet Temptation
Simply Red: Infidelity
Hall & Oates: Camellia
Grace Jones Warm Leatherette etc. etc.
It is mostly fairly danceable to - but my sudden overwhelming thought was "Who was I in love with then?" It was sort of pre-Mark, post James - the inter-war period of my superb singledom. I was "in love" with about 3 or 4 people during that period - and there were people I was in relationships of a sort with...I don't remember dancing with any of them to any of these (except the bad friend, and that was earlier). I just couldn't imagine who this music was for, who was I yearning for, who was I going to force to love me, who would I go back to 1000 times...
It was a rather regrettable thought - I know I've always had a habit of being "in love with" someone - but why? In theory this period of my life was my "searching for suitable husband material" phase - yet I spent it mooching after completely unsuitable unhusbandly material - I suppose the Toad was wealthy - so he might have passed, but the others, well, I dunno... too short, too unstable, too drunk, too gay, take your pick. Certainly weren't being chosen for their superior genetic material. What does this say? That Romance is not about the search for a mate? Perhaps. I know when I discouraged K's marriage thoughts that was a very considered decision, based on his genetic material...longevity, etc. yet I was amazingly in love with him. This is a mystery I cannot resolve,. After all, surely the function of romance is to sugar the pill of the permanence of a relationship - so that several kids and rows later at least you can look back and remember when you did feel romantic about them.
Shirley Conran quoted a friend of hers the other day, saying "After 50 it's not about getting the man you want, it's wanting the man you've got." This is only tenuous linked to the foregoing - but it's true!
The next thought about it all was that a lot of that 80s music was about the uber Babes - as Mark persists in calling them... and that neither Ned nor Finn, in their trawls through the musical past has landed on the 80s as offering any music worth while!
The playlist included
Katrina & The Waves: Walking on Sunshine
Isley Brothers: This Old Heart of Mine
Supremes:: No matter what sign you are
Gaye & Terrell ? - I'm going to make you love me
Wet,wet, wet Temptation
Simply Red: Infidelity
Hall & Oates: Camellia
Grace Jones Warm Leatherette etc. etc.
 |
| Not my usual romantic sludge... but oh so bloody 80s... |
It was a rather regrettable thought - I know I've always had a habit of being "in love with" someone - but why? In theory this period of my life was my "searching for suitable husband material" phase - yet I spent it mooching after completely unsuitable unhusbandly material - I suppose the Toad was wealthy - so he might have passed, but the others, well, I dunno... too short, too unstable, too drunk, too gay, take your pick. Certainly weren't being chosen for their superior genetic material. What does this say? That Romance is not about the search for a mate? Perhaps. I know when I discouraged K's marriage thoughts that was a very considered decision, based on his genetic material...longevity, etc. yet I was amazingly in love with him. This is a mystery I cannot resolve,. After all, surely the function of romance is to sugar the pill of the permanence of a relationship - so that several kids and rows later at least you can look back and remember when you did feel romantic about them.
Shirley Conran quoted a friend of hers the other day, saying "After 50 it's not about getting the man you want, it's wanting the man you've got." This is only tenuous linked to the foregoing - but it's true!
The next thought about it all was that a lot of that 80s music was about the uber Babes - as Mark persists in calling them... and that neither Ned nor Finn, in their trawls through the musical past has landed on the 80s as offering any music worth while!
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