I suppose everyone my age worries about dementia - and I have tried to ignore the possibility, however, in the light of the recent death of my cousin, the writer Moyra Caldecott, and her experiences, it has been on my mind more than ever.
Moyra had a form of dementia called progressive aphasia - perhaps not strictly dementia - but technically a definite diminution in intellectual capacity - as far as one could tell. After all, once a person has stoppedi talking, who knows what is going on.intellectually.
Of course, famously, as soon as we read about the symptoms of a disease, we begin to feel that we could be suffering it too. I immediately related to the stories of how she lost her vocabulary - and it really struck home. Most stories about dementia begin with people forgetting things more often. I forget things occasionally - but this isn't a new phenomenon, I had the first "what did I come up here for?" experience when I was 8 or 9 - because we were still living in Bayswater when that happened. So, I've always gone with positive view that as one gets older one expects to be more absent minded etc., and so one notices it more. I haven't actually noticed it more - but I have noticed two or three things. They may be the signs of dementia - or they may just be coincidental - connected with tiredness, or having drink taken the previous day.
1. Losing words, more frequently - little - temporary - gaps, opening up in the vocabulary. I usually retrieve these words subsequently.
2. Mis typing - I am not a perfect typist - who is, but occasionally recently I have noticed the occasional gibberish word appearing in front of me - which cannot be explained. Or I type a completely wrong word, sometimes these are normal mistakes like confusing "their" and "there", but yesterday I typed "cake" when I meant "gate". Perhaps that was a Freudian slip - highlighting my subconscious desire for the forbidden - cake.
3. General fuzziness. I don't feel as alert some days as I used to. I attribute this, to some extent, to spending a lot of time on the intuitve/creative side - and perhaps the elastic between this and the intellectual side is a bit slacker than it was, making it harder to adjust my focus. I do notice though that my sudoku completion rates (they are timed on the phone) are slower on average. And I have less will to try an "extreme" one in case I feel too stumped by it. The fuzziness is very annoying - I will have a burst of clarity and write an effortless email/letter/passage - and then I'm back to having to make a great effort. I am hoping it is tiredness.
Moyra had a form of dementia called progressive aphasia - perhaps not strictly dementia - but technically a definite diminution in intellectual capacity - as far as one could tell. After all, once a person has stoppedi talking, who knows what is going on.intellectually.
Of course, famously, as soon as we read about the symptoms of a disease, we begin to feel that we could be suffering it too. I immediately related to the stories of how she lost her vocabulary - and it really struck home. Most stories about dementia begin with people forgetting things more often. I forget things occasionally - but this isn't a new phenomenon, I had the first "what did I come up here for?" experience when I was 8 or 9 - because we were still living in Bayswater when that happened. So, I've always gone with positive view that as one gets older one expects to be more absent minded etc., and so one notices it more. I haven't actually noticed it more - but I have noticed two or three things. They may be the signs of dementia - or they may just be coincidental - connected with tiredness, or having drink taken the previous day.1. Losing words, more frequently - little - temporary - gaps, opening up in the vocabulary. I usually retrieve these words subsequently.
2. Mis typing - I am not a perfect typist - who is, but occasionally recently I have noticed the occasional gibberish word appearing in front of me - which cannot be explained. Or I type a completely wrong word, sometimes these are normal mistakes like confusing "their" and "there", but yesterday I typed "cake" when I meant "gate". Perhaps that was a Freudian slip - highlighting my subconscious desire for the forbidden - cake.
3. General fuzziness. I don't feel as alert some days as I used to. I attribute this, to some extent, to spending a lot of time on the intuitve/creative side - and perhaps the elastic between this and the intellectual side is a bit slacker than it was, making it harder to adjust my focus. I do notice though that my sudoku completion rates (they are timed on the phone) are slower on average. And I have less will to try an "extreme" one in case I feel too stumped by it. The fuzziness is very annoying - I will have a burst of clarity and write an effortless email/letter/passage - and then I'm back to having to make a great effort. I am hoping it is tiredness.
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