What I love about Facebook is the opportunity to discuss things with friends - what I hate about FB is how these discussions occasionally deteriorate due to participants forgetting where they are and who they are talking to - it's not just me listening you know!
Sometimes it's hard to remember online that we aren't invisible; sometimes it's hard to remember when we want to communicate something on FB, that a lot of people won't like what we say. You cannot control other people's opinions of you - so it could be an idea to avoid saying things which will give them cause to dislike, despise or dismiss you, even if you are one of the lucky (?) ones who doesn't much care. If you post on someone else's thread, all their friends - whom you may never meet - may develop a disagreeable opinion of you on the basis of one thoughtless, unpleasant observation.
People frequently put up posts that are controversial or irritating in some way. If you have anything intelligent to say which adds to the debate, or a question to ask to further it in some way, then contribute. If you simply wish to take some exercise on a personal hobby horse try to restrain yourself. Understand that this conversation is not for you, you are not the intended audience and although these people are your friends/relations/whatever this is not the place to re-hash your opinions (which they probably already know). If one's FB friends have different opinions, your/my intrusion into their chat with other like-minded souls will not change their minds - a couple of sentences of my/your precious opinion will not shift positions that have been forged in the furnaces of experience and culture.
In the case of something racist or sexist or plain unkind I think trying to say something humorously undermining is better than abuse (although abuse may be a necessary last resort - followed by unfriending etc.). I personally would intervene if I see something I know to be factually incorrect ... although a reverence for truth (or a near approximation of it) isn't too popular on the FB rumour threads.
We have probably all posted a great many things that are annoying to some of our FB friends - but our better friends have simply and graciously ignored them - this is clearly the right thing to do. Plonking your rationalist boots into religious threads, or getting heavily Marxist on the "Wasn't Maggie wonderful" status just doesn't do. (I may have been guilty of the latter...). Of course a lot of people go onto FB to be noticed per se so getting into an argument is a good way of doing it and achieves their ends - so someone's happy anyway!
I suppose what I'm arguing for is a peaceful, less teenage FB. I am privy to some teenage statuses and I don't always enjoy the levels of discourse and liberal interchange of views I see there. I have noticed though that older teenagers understand better than many adults, what can be said publicly on FB and what should be the proper subjects for chat and direct messages.
Liking statuses can be a bit of a cringey love-fest sometimes - especially when people post sentimental statuses. Nevertheless, a judicious use of the "Like" button can be supportive and a more subtle way of being noticed - and it shows you care, even if, quite frankly, you don't. Good manners have always contained a high degree of hypocrisy - however much it grates with our desire to be "authentic" - and this is even truer of FB where your invisible audience is probably larger than the average pub saloon bar. Nobody wants to be seen as a saloon bar bore, pontificating illiberally and not engaging with what other people are saying. If you have any slight inclination in that direction, FB will show you up mercilessly.
FB offers a wealth of opportunities for self-expression - which need to be used carefully. And now - here are the Staples Singers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1II2nPmBZJk
This piece isn't designed as a prescriptive ego trip - but something to widen debate a little - please comment, argue, discuss... if you want to!
Sometimes it's hard to remember online that we aren't invisible; sometimes it's hard to remember when we want to communicate something on FB, that a lot of people won't like what we say. You cannot control other people's opinions of you - so it could be an idea to avoid saying things which will give them cause to dislike, despise or dismiss you, even if you are one of the lucky (?) ones who doesn't much care. If you post on someone else's thread, all their friends - whom you may never meet - may develop a disagreeable opinion of you on the basis of one thoughtless, unpleasant observation.
People frequently put up posts that are controversial or irritating in some way. If you have anything intelligent to say which adds to the debate, or a question to ask to further it in some way, then contribute. If you simply wish to take some exercise on a personal hobby horse try to restrain yourself. Understand that this conversation is not for you, you are not the intended audience and although these people are your friends/relations/whatever this is not the place to re-hash your opinions (which they probably already know). If one's FB friends have different opinions, your/my intrusion into their chat with other like-minded souls will not change their minds - a couple of sentences of my/your precious opinion will not shift positions that have been forged in the furnaces of experience and culture.
In the case of something racist or sexist or plain unkind I think trying to say something humorously undermining is better than abuse (although abuse may be a necessary last resort - followed by unfriending etc.). I personally would intervene if I see something I know to be factually incorrect ... although a reverence for truth (or a near approximation of it) isn't too popular on the FB rumour threads.
We have probably all posted a great many things that are annoying to some of our FB friends - but our better friends have simply and graciously ignored them - this is clearly the right thing to do. Plonking your rationalist boots into religious threads, or getting heavily Marxist on the "Wasn't Maggie wonderful" status just doesn't do. (I may have been guilty of the latter...). Of course a lot of people go onto FB to be noticed per se so getting into an argument is a good way of doing it and achieves their ends - so someone's happy anyway!
I suppose what I'm arguing for is a peaceful, less teenage FB. I am privy to some teenage statuses and I don't always enjoy the levels of discourse and liberal interchange of views I see there. I have noticed though that older teenagers understand better than many adults, what can be said publicly on FB and what should be the proper subjects for chat and direct messages.
Liking statuses can be a bit of a cringey love-fest sometimes - especially when people post sentimental statuses. Nevertheless, a judicious use of the "Like" button can be supportive and a more subtle way of being noticed - and it shows you care, even if, quite frankly, you don't. Good manners have always contained a high degree of hypocrisy - however much it grates with our desire to be "authentic" - and this is even truer of FB where your invisible audience is probably larger than the average pub saloon bar. Nobody wants to be seen as a saloon bar bore, pontificating illiberally and not engaging with what other people are saying. If you have any slight inclination in that direction, FB will show you up mercilessly.
FB offers a wealth of opportunities for self-expression - which need to be used carefully. And now - here are the Staples Singers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1II2nPmBZJk
This piece isn't designed as a prescriptive ego trip - but something to widen debate a little - please comment, argue, discuss... if you want to!
No comments:
Post a Comment