Do you think I haven't written anything for 10 days? Oh no, I've written lots, it's just that each post has been left as a draft as it's become too intimate for the blog - sorry my voyeuristic friends, even I have a smidgeon of self-protection occasionally.
It is quite interesting that, as I have observed before, when there's something on my mind I really cannot write. I had two days on my own to write and I achieved (a) a submission (b) some TRF editing (c) a look at Vol1 with a view to beginning some sort of re-write... I found it really hard to write today. Perhaps my break has been too long, but I also know that I will do nothing until the beginning of the month - I have Thursday and Friday to look forward to and digest, and then I will begin again.
The last 6-8 weeks have been a pretty apalling rollercoaster - losing a friend and another friend having a cancer diagnosis and then all the financial crises and so on, and the novel/agent angst... it's not surprising I have not been able to write. We've also had a lot of people staying - it's certainly easier to be doing hospitality when there is no major writing going on.
The curious element is that in the past when I had something on my mind I would write it "out of my system". Now that doesn't seem possible, or at least not here, in front of an audience. But perhaps more fundamentally, rather than trying to rationalise a problem, to draw its parameters and to understand it, as I did when I was younger, now I prefer to jam into into the great internal preserving pan and let it simmer away for a while - hoping that my intuition will bring forth some sort of homunculus... but the fact is, that when a problem is about a future event, one can draw out the possible alternative scenarios - and get nowhere. One therefore cannot prepare oneself too far in advance for a future event whose parameters one cannnot know. Spontanaeity is all!
It is quite interesting that, as I have observed before, when there's something on my mind I really cannot write. I had two days on my own to write and I achieved (a) a submission (b) some TRF editing (c) a look at Vol1 with a view to beginning some sort of re-write... I found it really hard to write today. Perhaps my break has been too long, but I also know that I will do nothing until the beginning of the month - I have Thursday and Friday to look forward to and digest, and then I will begin again.
The last 6-8 weeks have been a pretty apalling rollercoaster - losing a friend and another friend having a cancer diagnosis and then all the financial crises and so on, and the novel/agent angst... it's not surprising I have not been able to write. We've also had a lot of people staying - it's certainly easier to be doing hospitality when there is no major writing going on.
The curious element is that in the past when I had something on my mind I would write it "out of my system". Now that doesn't seem possible, or at least not here, in front of an audience. But perhaps more fundamentally, rather than trying to rationalise a problem, to draw its parameters and to understand it, as I did when I was younger, now I prefer to jam into into the great internal preserving pan and let it simmer away for a while - hoping that my intuition will bring forth some sort of homunculus... but the fact is, that when a problem is about a future event, one can draw out the possible alternative scenarios - and get nowhere. One therefore cannot prepare oneself too far in advance for a future event whose parameters one cannnot know. Spontanaeity is all!
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