Yesterday went to two parties. First a lunch party for a friend's Golden Wedding - one of my book group. I sat and talked exclusively with one person, because that was the way things were arranged. There was lots of wine and sarnies and vol au vents, but I wished she'd asked me to do the catering.
Then there was music - I haven't been to a party where you actually had to listen to music - usually you can talk over it, so discipline was needed. I thought the cello playing was occasionally rather uncomfortable - and I was pleased to be able to leave before her solo.
Then I sauntered down to Vale Square for the annual fundraising party. There were two hosts, each with their own table of food - ours was clearly the more foodie table. It is unfortunate that I had stuffed myself with sarnies so the incredibly delicious food came too late, but I did have some very good spanakopitta and a delicious salad with roast squash in it. I had brought trifle and so had 3 other people. Mine had syllabub on top... a few points there I think, but was curiously bland otherwise, rather disappointing. Not enough blackberry vodka on the sponge cake I think.
There were lots of nice people at the party - and I really enjoyed it. I drank way too much, and slept badly. Oh dear. Now off to Cippenham. Curiously met a guy who had lived in the same road as me when I was young.
Reading while dead
Sunday, 14 August 2011
Wednesday, 10 August 2011
Yipee!
I have done all my tasks - everything is sorted - well, one or two unfinished bits, but it means I can sit at the computer without feeling guilty. I will do one or two other things, but tomorrow is shopping - finance - Broadstairs - leaflet distribution... more agreeable on the whole.
Of course it is still about 3 weeks to the festival so plenty of time to things to go wrong - and be righted and go wrong again.... really hope things are OK. Connoisseurs can probably tell from my prose style that I am tired - seems to be my permanent condition. Somehow even my rest periods are task laden - Sunday for example I will be getting up and going to Cippenham and feeding my father's desire for home cooking... well I must just get on with it - it will be a change anyway.
Whatever happened to lying in the sun and powering through novels and history book without worrying about having to do anything?
All efforts to save money for future holidays undermined by the necessity to pay for MoT tests and the like (our car failed, and we should have a bill of about £380.) Oh well, another invoice is going in tomorrow - so we can scrape by somehow. I really want a proper holiday next year - not just a couple of days snatched here and there. I don't think a long weekend in Belgium would count really.
Of course it is still about 3 weeks to the festival so plenty of time to things to go wrong - and be righted and go wrong again.... really hope things are OK. Connoisseurs can probably tell from my prose style that I am tired - seems to be my permanent condition. Somehow even my rest periods are task laden - Sunday for example I will be getting up and going to Cippenham and feeding my father's desire for home cooking... well I must just get on with it - it will be a change anyway.
Whatever happened to lying in the sun and powering through novels and history book without worrying about having to do anything?
All efforts to save money for future holidays undermined by the necessity to pay for MoT tests and the like (our car failed, and we should have a bill of about £380.) Oh well, another invoice is going in tomorrow - so we can scrape by somehow. I really want a proper holiday next year - not just a couple of days snatched here and there. I don't think a long weekend in Belgium would count really.
Tuesday, 9 August 2011
Burnin' an' lootin'
I should mention the riots - they are The News at the moment. I've had a lot of interesting conversations about them over the last couple of days. We are all trying to reason why - and here are the answers:
1. It is the school hols, and disaffected young people are bored.
2. There is always a great deal of anti-police feeling.
3. We live in a world of widening inequality.
4. Money/material possessions are too important to people - but it is hard to tell people who have very little that this is the case.
5. People feel forgotten neglected and marginalised - and this is an opportunity to make people notice them.
6. Some people are politically motivated - some are just good old fashioned criminals, most are just opportunists/thrill seekers (it beats white-water rafting for sure).
7. This is being done by young men not in education, employment or training - they are pissed off.
8. People do not feel engaged with their communities - and turn on them when they are angry.
9. There is no justification for burning private houses.
10. This is now multi-racial rioting - at last our multi-cultural society has produced a youth which riots together!
Anything the police or the Tories say about anarchist, criminals etc. is just grandstanding. And also, the police provoked it. You cannot go around shooting people - even drug dealing gangsters - and expecting everyone will just nod sagely and take no notice.
1. It is the school hols, and disaffected young people are bored.
2. There is always a great deal of anti-police feeling.
3. We live in a world of widening inequality.
4. Money/material possessions are too important to people - but it is hard to tell people who have very little that this is the case.
5. People feel forgotten neglected and marginalised - and this is an opportunity to make people notice them.
6. Some people are politically motivated - some are just good old fashioned criminals, most are just opportunists/thrill seekers (it beats white-water rafting for sure).
7. This is being done by young men not in education, employment or training - they are pissed off.
8. People do not feel engaged with their communities - and turn on them when they are angry.
9. There is no justification for burning private houses.
10. This is now multi-racial rioting - at last our multi-cultural society has produced a youth which riots together!
Anything the police or the Tories say about anarchist, criminals etc. is just grandstanding. And also, the police provoked it. You cannot go around shooting people - even drug dealing gangsters - and expecting everyone will just nod sagely and take no notice.
Bloody Festival
Of course it's fatal to think things will always go smoothly - and at the moment everything seems to be going a bit wonky - and to top it all I am being harassed at a distance by S - who despite being on holiday can't seem to let go of things. She's probably right, but I need to get some stuff finished and not be asked to do new stuff all the time.
So far I am committed to:
Finish all the Risk Assessments gathering in and finish my own one.
Do at least 2 more Press Releases, check over the listings
Do another Stage Corner blog (probably)
Contact local radio and tv
Write and research a lecture on Menander
Put up several people in my house
Make sure the whole Squall in the Park event runs properly - with associated poets, workshops etc. and now they have changed the goal posts!
And of course I will be stewarding at the events - attending the launch in an auxiliary capacity etc. etc.
And I do actually have a family and domestic responsibilities etc.
So far I am committed to:
Finish all the Risk Assessments gathering in and finish my own one.
Do at least 2 more Press Releases, check over the listings
Do another Stage Corner blog (probably)
Contact local radio and tv
Write and research a lecture on Menander
Put up several people in my house
Make sure the whole Squall in the Park event runs properly - with associated poets, workshops etc. and now they have changed the goal posts!
And of course I will be stewarding at the events - attending the launch in an auxiliary capacity etc. etc.
And I do actually have a family and domestic responsibilities etc.
Monday, 8 August 2011
Bienvenuto ai cari lettori italiani!
Actually, just one Italian reader! But nice that finally someone in Italy has dropped by - or maybe it's just a "regular" reader who happens to be in Italy. I fortunately don't mind too much about numbers, although just occasionally, a comment would be interesting. Or perhaps this blog is so scarey no one dares comment. I comment sometimes on other blogs - usually on beautiful photos - or a situation that seems familiar - but it hasn't led to an ongoing discussion of any kind. A bit of chat would be nice - occasionally.
La lotta continua!
La lotta continua!
What fresh hell? The riots as extreme shopping?
Every morning in the last few weeks there has been news that seems surprising and shocking - so many quite unexpected things are happening that I feel we are beginning to see the change that some of us have anticipated, coming closer.
I'm thinking at present of the downrating of the US's credit rating and China's reaction to it; but the rioting in London - although of a different order, reflects the economic uncertainty in some ways. This whole year seems to have had extraordinary news - things like the tsunami and the nuclear accidents in Japan, the unending bad economic news, the News of the World business - things are being swept away - the familiar landscape is disappearing. Usually this happens slowly - imperceptibly - now it seems to have speeded up. The US credit rating, coupled with the economic crisises in Ireland, Greece and now Spain and Italy suggests that the whole idiocy of moving manufacturing industry to China from the west is now coming home to roost.
When I was in London on Saturday the level of retail activity was such that I found myself thinking of the line in Revelation: And he causeth all, both small and great , rich and poor , free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand , or in their foreheads: 17 And that no man might buy or sell , save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.
I wasn't particularly thinking about the mark of the beast (which is currently believed to be your credit card number!) - but just the whole idea of buying and selling - that it seems to be the major activity. Of course it is, it always has been, but we have gone a long way beyond necessity - now it is necessary, not for us individually, but for the whole benefit of society to buy and sell as much as we can to preserve the economy. We are not stopping for a good reason now, only because we can't afford to. But it has become too much of the economy. The riots in Tottenham etc. in the last two nights, are perhaps just a form of extreme shopping - no credit card required. There is clearly a lot of good old fashioned criminal activity going on here - there is also a general lack of restraint - whatever happened to that backlash we've been expecting?
I'm thinking at present of the downrating of the US's credit rating and China's reaction to it; but the rioting in London - although of a different order, reflects the economic uncertainty in some ways. This whole year seems to have had extraordinary news - things like the tsunami and the nuclear accidents in Japan, the unending bad economic news, the News of the World business - things are being swept away - the familiar landscape is disappearing. Usually this happens slowly - imperceptibly - now it seems to have speeded up. The US credit rating, coupled with the economic crisises in Ireland, Greece and now Spain and Italy suggests that the whole idiocy of moving manufacturing industry to China from the west is now coming home to roost.
When I was in London on Saturday the level of retail activity was such that I found myself thinking of the line in Revelation: And he causeth all, both small and great , rich and poor , free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand , or in their foreheads: 17 And that no man might buy or sell , save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.
I wasn't particularly thinking about the mark of the beast (which is currently believed to be your credit card number!) - but just the whole idea of buying and selling - that it seems to be the major activity. Of course it is, it always has been, but we have gone a long way beyond necessity - now it is necessary, not for us individually, but for the whole benefit of society to buy and sell as much as we can to preserve the economy. We are not stopping for a good reason now, only because we can't afford to. But it has become too much of the economy. The riots in Tottenham etc. in the last two nights, are perhaps just a form of extreme shopping - no credit card required. There is clearly a lot of good old fashioned criminal activity going on here - there is also a general lack of restraint - whatever happened to that backlash we've been expecting?
Sunday, 7 August 2011
A trip to London
We went to London yesterday. It was an extraordinary day, in the middle of the day was a very pleasant time, bookended by two 3-1/2 hour journeys to and from Hammersmith.
In the morning we decided to drive to Hammersmith going into London from Kent and driving around the South Circular - this was pretty clear until we got to Dulwich, after which it became progressively more congested. Also, when we got to Fulham Broadway Dawes Road seemed to have disappeared - my fault with the map reading I expect. The traffic was painfully slow - we were an hour and a half late for Finn's fingerboarding event, so we dropped him, parked and rushed off to have fun - on the bus!
I used to love August in London, it was always quiet, the restaurants were empty, you could wander around the streets in Bloomsbury and Fitzrovia and always find a seat in your favourite pub - oh, dear, cue violins. This is no longer the case - it is stuffed with people. Clearly there is too much money in circulation.
Nowadays of course, London is not part of the UK as such - it has become a "world city". I.e. you can't tell what Londoners are wearing because you can't see many. Everyone is visiting - you can tell the Londoners by the harassed looks - they walk swiftly and try to avoid hoi polloi.
There seem to be retail outlets in every available space - the whole of Hammersmith Tube station is now one (if was a bit like the one under the Louvre, only smaller and the shops probably slightly tackier (not much in it though)). There were artificially-lit places to eat and drink - without an aspect of any kind. And everything was much much more expensive. We walked along part of Kensington High Street - there were lovely things to buy (never a problem in Ramsgate) and I was very conscious of how impossible it would be for us to live in London now - financially. OK, so this was Kensington - we saw a Patisserie Valerie and thought about having tea there - but the cakes looked a bit lumpy and mass produced (I remember when PV wasn't a chain), next door was a very bijou food shop - with matching prices, and around the corner was a lovely Ottolenghi shop - £4.20 for a nice gluten free choc. cake with thick icing... other things were more reasonable.
We had an elegant Italian lunch at The Ark - I explained its role in my history to Mark - how I used to walk past it on my way to school as a child - how it had always had a tiny menu - very bistroey - how we had discovered it as students as a place to eat that was bohemian smart and good and reasonable - serving Elizabeth David food - avocado vinaigrette, pate, soups, Boeuf Bourguinon, etc, and lemon sorbet - and how James always ate lemon sorbet and never tried anything else. And how, after eating there for years, we finally ate there when we had been to the counselling people in Kensington and where we agreed to divorce. I think he was a bit worried that history would repeat itself. In fact it was a really nice meal, only slightly marred because I misread the menu and ordered a really expensive wine (£33 for a Greco di Tufo seems rather unreasonable - last time I went there I think they still had house wines). We talked about all the stuff we used to talk about when we were relaxed - our ambitions and projects, and ideas about people and things. He was feeling positive towards me because on Friday night I had got into some interesting conversations at the Marine Studios - and he believes in TFY - even though he inevitably doesn't like it. He said he really admired me for writing a novel that was so honest about things - and how people - especially men - like to shut up about their past mistakes. Or tell themselves different more flattering versions of stories; he said he thought some men used this to manipulate people. I'm sure women do to, but traditionally women have less pride about themselves in some way - more interest in understanding people and how they work.
So the lunch was very much like old times - and we both agreed that we needed to do more of this somehow. He is - when he's on form, such a nice, perceptive man - but it's the everyday stuff that gets to me. Interestingly recently we heard a programme on the radio about ADHD - and the description of behaviour which seemed to match M perfectly - the disorganisation, short term memory, lack of a sense of priority - the need to have someone in their lives who organised them. My problem is that I not nurturing enough - I get a bit tired of it, I need someone to be more independent.
But you never get everything you want do you? So would I be better off with someone much more organised and focussed - but perhaps less sensitive and perceptive? Not that there is a choice of course, life doesn't usually work like that - but at least I recognise M's good qualities now - not suddenly noticing them years later - when I no longer have him (this is only a for instance).
Do I feel more committed to him as a result? I don't know, I just wish I wasn't so ground down by incessant demands on my time to actually have time to enjoy our relationship a bit.
By the time we were driving home we were snapping at each other again - although with less acerbity perhaps, more a sense of inevitability. I was cross because I missed the turn off to the M3 (we decided to go back via M3 - M25 - M20 etc. to see if it was quicker (it's further in mileage), and we ended up driving to Reigate to get onto the M25 which was virtually at a standstill. I was pretty cross. However, we found out later, that as a result of getting on to the motorway where we did, we avoided a 30 mile tailback - 30 miles?!! due to an accident - we had luckily arrived about a mile north of the incident so we only had to wait about 30 minutes before we got clear of the road (a lorry had crossed the central reservation). I remember C. once spent 7 hours on the M25 - which is one of the reasons I hate it (although in her case I would have got off and driven down the back roads). So in fact M's mad alternative route was an absolute blessing - and we could have been stuck on the M25 for considerably longer.
We are very lucky really - and although life is rather tough at the moment it is not as unpleasant as it could be. I am wondering whether to clear my study and fit it up as a bedroom for a student - it's tempting, especially if it was an older student.
Overall, the major thing I learned from the day is that, much as I loved London, I no longer wished to live there, because the traffic was so appalling it made one feel frustrated and powerless. We also decided that although it only takes 1 hour to get to Blackheath/Greenwich, we would never ever drive to West London again....
In the morning we decided to drive to Hammersmith going into London from Kent and driving around the South Circular - this was pretty clear until we got to Dulwich, after which it became progressively more congested. Also, when we got to Fulham Broadway Dawes Road seemed to have disappeared - my fault with the map reading I expect. The traffic was painfully slow - we were an hour and a half late for Finn's fingerboarding event, so we dropped him, parked and rushed off to have fun - on the bus!
I used to love August in London, it was always quiet, the restaurants were empty, you could wander around the streets in Bloomsbury and Fitzrovia and always find a seat in your favourite pub - oh, dear, cue violins. This is no longer the case - it is stuffed with people. Clearly there is too much money in circulation.
Nowadays of course, London is not part of the UK as such - it has become a "world city". I.e. you can't tell what Londoners are wearing because you can't see many. Everyone is visiting - you can tell the Londoners by the harassed looks - they walk swiftly and try to avoid hoi polloi.
There seem to be retail outlets in every available space - the whole of Hammersmith Tube station is now one (if was a bit like the one under the Louvre, only smaller and the shops probably slightly tackier (not much in it though)). There were artificially-lit places to eat and drink - without an aspect of any kind. And everything was much much more expensive. We walked along part of Kensington High Street - there were lovely things to buy (never a problem in Ramsgate) and I was very conscious of how impossible it would be for us to live in London now - financially. OK, so this was Kensington - we saw a Patisserie Valerie and thought about having tea there - but the cakes looked a bit lumpy and mass produced (I remember when PV wasn't a chain), next door was a very bijou food shop - with matching prices, and around the corner was a lovely Ottolenghi shop - £4.20 for a nice gluten free choc. cake with thick icing... other things were more reasonable.
We had an elegant Italian lunch at The Ark - I explained its role in my history to Mark - how I used to walk past it on my way to school as a child - how it had always had a tiny menu - very bistroey - how we had discovered it as students as a place to eat that was bohemian smart and good and reasonable - serving Elizabeth David food - avocado vinaigrette, pate, soups, Boeuf Bourguinon, etc, and lemon sorbet - and how James always ate lemon sorbet and never tried anything else. And how, after eating there for years, we finally ate there when we had been to the counselling people in Kensington and where we agreed to divorce. I think he was a bit worried that history would repeat itself. In fact it was a really nice meal, only slightly marred because I misread the menu and ordered a really expensive wine (£33 for a Greco di Tufo seems rather unreasonable - last time I went there I think they still had house wines). We talked about all the stuff we used to talk about when we were relaxed - our ambitions and projects, and ideas about people and things. He was feeling positive towards me because on Friday night I had got into some interesting conversations at the Marine Studios - and he believes in TFY - even though he inevitably doesn't like it. He said he really admired me for writing a novel that was so honest about things - and how people - especially men - like to shut up about their past mistakes. Or tell themselves different more flattering versions of stories; he said he thought some men used this to manipulate people. I'm sure women do to, but traditionally women have less pride about themselves in some way - more interest in understanding people and how they work.
So the lunch was very much like old times - and we both agreed that we needed to do more of this somehow. He is - when he's on form, such a nice, perceptive man - but it's the everyday stuff that gets to me. Interestingly recently we heard a programme on the radio about ADHD - and the description of behaviour which seemed to match M perfectly - the disorganisation, short term memory, lack of a sense of priority - the need to have someone in their lives who organised them. My problem is that I not nurturing enough - I get a bit tired of it, I need someone to be more independent.
But you never get everything you want do you? So would I be better off with someone much more organised and focussed - but perhaps less sensitive and perceptive? Not that there is a choice of course, life doesn't usually work like that - but at least I recognise M's good qualities now - not suddenly noticing them years later - when I no longer have him (this is only a for instance).
Do I feel more committed to him as a result? I don't know, I just wish I wasn't so ground down by incessant demands on my time to actually have time to enjoy our relationship a bit.
By the time we were driving home we were snapping at each other again - although with less acerbity perhaps, more a sense of inevitability. I was cross because I missed the turn off to the M3 (we decided to go back via M3 - M25 - M20 etc. to see if it was quicker (it's further in mileage), and we ended up driving to Reigate to get onto the M25 which was virtually at a standstill. I was pretty cross. However, we found out later, that as a result of getting on to the motorway where we did, we avoided a 30 mile tailback - 30 miles?!! due to an accident - we had luckily arrived about a mile north of the incident so we only had to wait about 30 minutes before we got clear of the road (a lorry had crossed the central reservation). I remember C. once spent 7 hours on the M25 - which is one of the reasons I hate it (although in her case I would have got off and driven down the back roads). So in fact M's mad alternative route was an absolute blessing - and we could have been stuck on the M25 for considerably longer.
We are very lucky really - and although life is rather tough at the moment it is not as unpleasant as it could be. I am wondering whether to clear my study and fit it up as a bedroom for a student - it's tempting, especially if it was an older student.
Overall, the major thing I learned from the day is that, much as I loved London, I no longer wished to live there, because the traffic was so appalling it made one feel frustrated and powerless. We also decided that although it only takes 1 hour to get to Blackheath/Greenwich, we would never ever drive to West London again....
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