Reading while dead

Reading while dead

Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Ghosts

An appropriate Hallowe'en subject - interesting discussion on the radio about it, and how the perception of it has altered through the ages.  In the Catholic Middle Ages, people thought of ghosts as helpful, often religious characters, who came to advise or warn quite often.  After the Reformation in the early 17thC people began to think they were actively demonic - this view is still largely held in the US - presumably it was taken there by the Pilgrim Fathers and the other English free-thinkers who went over there in the C17th... and now this idea has returned from the US to haunt evangelical and charismatic Christians.

The author being interviewed said that a popular idea now was that buildings, especially those made of organic materials, held impressions of strong emotions, so deaths and births were often a factor in hauntings... this made a lot of sense to me.  After all, many churches have a fantastically good atmosphere because of all the positive prayer going on there for centuries.  The two best attested hauntings at my parents' house were connected with a birth and a death.  What of the other ones?  The moving wardrobe may have some other origin... and those bursts of laughter and noise I used to hear occasionally - who knows?   I feel the atmosphere in Cippenham Place is very bad again, which is one of the reasons why I don't like going there.  It's ennervating - I have to fight it.  It makes me feel defensive and hostile - or is that just my family?   No, I do think that there's something there now, maybe connected with my mother, or negative emotions concerning her last years there.  I don't know whether this can be exorcised, since it is not exactly demonic.

Apparently ghosts seem to proliferate in England due to the anxiety about them after the Reformation - people were forbidden to pray for the dead, the doctrine of Purgatory was dropped, and people felt unhappy about the lot of those who had died recently, this anxiety seems to have proliferate belief in ghosts.

I think I've seen ghosts, Finn has seen one in this house, and I have certainly suffered from "atmospheres". I have always thought the story of the ghost on Salisbury Plain who "warned" my friend's son Mark was a very interesting and credible story, much more proactive than merely seeing a woman simply drifting through one's room.  It is odd about my parents' house: I liked it when it was properly haunted - although it could be frightening.  I didn't like the fact that they had a perfectly nice house exorcised, although it did get rid of the jumping wardrobe and the haunted cupboard.  (And nearly did for the drinks cupboard - that's what happens when you get a charismatic evangelical to exorcise for you).  Maybe what I experience there is a sense of closing in - the idea of fewer years ahead, the necessity to make peace with one's mortality (I think I have) and perhaps the restless unwillingness of my father to do this.  Oh dear.  

Fanfare for me!

Yes, you do have to blow your own trumpet - nobody does it for you.  I announced to the awaiting world the completion of Conscience vol 1 on Facebook this afternoon, and got a "like" from Finn - and the rest of my eager chums? nada, zilch, niente...  I expect they were all busy, it is Hallowe'en after all, and I seem to be the only person who doesn't treat it as a lesser Christmas.  I hope that's why no one noticed, or did they notice and think I was showing off... or are they all assuming I am about to fail.   Perhaps I am.

Anyway, I finished Conscience today.  This was an idea I have had for a while - and, sometime in 2003 I went up to London on a train with a small notebook and came back with the whole plot.  I've never looked at that notebook since, it is probably full of gorgeous ideas which I would be kicking myself not to have used.  I can't actually remember when I began to write it - when I started The Romantic Feminist I had already written about 20,00 words of it, and I wrote a little more on it after I'd completed the first few drafts of the RF.  I wrote it so slowly and infrequently, it had taken me at least a year to write those first 20,000 words, perhaps two years.  This afternoon I finished it.  I decided this morning that Thursday and Friday were going to be busy days, so I should just go for it.  The last chapter is just under 5,000 words, all written today.  It will need considerable polishing, but I wanted to get some momentum back - the previous chapters had covered about 4 weeks in about 15,000 words.  I didn't think my readers would want it to drag out, every painful conversation, every initiative.  M of course wanted me to include a scene with a recruiting sergeant - I felt that had been "done" - I left it out, there is some anxiety about how the wife character changes - is it a but unrealistic, has she been subsumed to the plot in some way...

Some weeks ago it became apparent to me that the story, which I originally imagined as one big fat book, and then realised would make more money as two, might actually become three books.  Currently this version is about 87,000 words - slimmer than TRF, but still a respectable size - about 220 pages... it may need some padding out - but there were a few ideas I had as I went along that perhaps need to be expanded a little - and maybe the last chapter would benefit from another couple of thousand words.  I am desperately excited, and thrilled, and also a little deflated - what on earth will I do next?  Some housework perhaps?

Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Maggie O'Farrell

It is always a great joy to read a good new writer.  I have been aware of MO'F for a while - she used to write for the Guardian - and so I tended to treat rave reviews of her books as a bit of hype for an ex-colleague.  However, this month's Book Group book was The Disappearance of Esme Lennox, which I thought was a really interesting, competent book - very well written, well constructed, interesting characters, interesting inter-relationships.  I enjoyed it, admired it - these things are not always synonymous.

Social whirl...

Well, not exactly, but just at the moment, if I wanted to I could more or less go out all the time, and when I am at home dear friends are ringing for lovely chats, which is lovely - but 3 today is going it a bit, what with the weekly weightwatchers meeting and shopping it is surprising that I get any work done, but I did 2,600 words of frustrated sex scenes - God I'm getting so good at this!  I keep saying I'm nearly finished - but another 1,000 words slip in.  I may finish it by the end of the week, but if I don't, I don't.  Tomorrow I should have a good run at it.

Anyway, things are moving along - and every time I see a friend they suggest something else we could do or go to or see... do I want to go and see an am-dram production of Mapp & Lucia?  Do I want to see an interesting poetic-play by Nancy Charley - or hear Jamie Moores play?   This weekend is mapped out - Marine Studios 3rd birthday party - then a concert on Saturday afternoon - then supper with our paying guests... then?  Sunday a walk if it's fine - maybe to collect wood - or we could have the first fire of the season.  And the other thing - unknown people wanting to be friends, sending me messages.  Perhaps all the astrological stuff about getting a high profile is true.  Oh yes, a high profile in Thanet!

Sunday, 28 October 2012

A Party for a Peter Blake exhibition

The other day when I was minding the shop I was also eavesdropping at what was happening on the tourist info. desk.  I heard the chief volunteer phoning around - to invite "influential people" to a re-launch of a pub.  Actually, the pub's been going strong, but its former manager has returned... so they're having a re-opening party. I wondered who the "influential people" were who were being invited, fairly safe in the knowledge that I wouldn't be one of them.  I'm not sure what it takes to be "influential" in Ramsgate - and who you'd be influencing - if it's Thanet District Council, any one with a brown envelope would be in this category, or the membership of a Masonic Lodge.

Anyway, one of the invitees I did hear the name of, has invited me (in her PR capacity) to something rather more interesting: the opening of a new proper art gallery a two minute walk from the house.  It's an interesting thing - a commercial art gallery - but a proper gallery - which is going to be holding commercial shows of really good known artists.  It is being located in an odd place, but the owner is already an established galleriste and has a strong list of clients - who will pursue her even to the wilds of Ramsgate... so should we expect parking problems? Or will they all come by train?

I am not quite sure why I've been invited: is it because I've written reviews of exhibitions for Thanet Watch (which probably makes me Thanet's leading art critic - pas grand chose, alors!) or because I am middle class and local.  It is certainly not because I am an art buyer likely to pick up the odd Peter Blake drawing, or even to influence my avid readership to do this. Maybe I have become "influential"? without realising it.  Now I am going to be fascinated about two things, firstly whether they do what Turner Contemptible did - have a couple of preview parties for locals and then have a really important party on the last night, or will it just be the one party - and we hoi polloi from Ramsgate will be rubbing shoulders with international art glitterati and buyers.  Will Peter Blake lui-meme be there?  There will be champagne - although I think putting that in the email title was a little de trop, no doubt it was to indicate that this would be no ordinary, prosecco reception.  The other fascination is - who will be there?  The 250 most "influential" people in Thanet?  Or just a few vaguely groovy people? Will it be commercial and sensible or just vaguely arty?  Will the elusive Ramsgate Millionaires be there?  Peter Blake is a very sensible choice for a first exhibition - figurative art always goes down a storm here...

So why me? What list do I appear on?  Who mentioned my name? Or is it just a mistake - like those weird people who follow one on Twitter?

Friday, 26 October 2012

Staying up late

I don't really want to stay up late - but when Mark's away I can without anyone grumbling at me, so I do.  He has gone to the Society of Antiquaries to a lecture on Selborne Abbey - for which he is providing the pictures.  Tomorrow he is going to see his father, then go and see mine - we'll all have supper there on Friday night.   But first Friday has to be navigated.  The last 3 Fridays have all been hellish for some reason - due largely to my having had too much to do in the time available.  I daresay this Friday will be the same.  Rush, rush, rush - so why am I not in bed, sleeping the sleep of the just?  

If I'd really wanted to make a night of it I could have invited the whole Festival Club back to mine - but what would have been the point?  I would just have drunk a ludicrous amount and made Friday impossible to navigate.  I am going to sit in Suzy's shop again and read and think - it is usually quiet on Friday mornings, and I can read a serious book.  At the moment the book is Nick Cohen's You can't read this book - which is interesting.  My brain is really dying... I just have lost concentration - I think it's because I live so much of my time on the unconscious level - the writing etc.  And the super-charged daydreaming...

I had some very welcome feedback on TRF from Kirstie - not depressing enough - Denise thought bits of it too depressing - K would have preferred that Lucy jumped off the viaduct.  She loved the Benjie character - and the end, thought it was only slightly improbable.

Some songwriter was talking about Bob Dylan today and how they "borrowed" from him all the time in their songs.  I was thinking that I don't consciously borrow from literature - or rather I do do conscious intertextuality - deliberately, but I don't "borrow" plots and situations from literature - rather from life, so I've borrowed  bit of Bella, a bit of Michelle, some actual circumstances from the LO's life - and Kirstie said that Melissa was a classic gorgeous American ballbreaker... perhaps I should have made her Australian? which means that I haven't borrowed her from anywhere, she's just an archetype I picked off the shelf...so perhaps she was "borrowed" from literature.

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Happy!

Even though I only wrote 300 words today I made progress in all sorts of other ways.  I re-wrote the synopsis of Conscience1 and edited the first 3 chapters again - they are in pretty good shape, but there was some stuff about the conchies I needed to correct.  When I re-wrote the synopsis I had to go to the end, and although I knew roughly what was going to happen, it was good to clarify the story.  There is just one thing I haven't done... an idea I have had, but am not sure about.  So that can be my new thing to worry about for the next few days.  I don't want him to do a Soames Forsyth on her, but I can imagine it.  I think it would upset family members a lot.  I need to make the distinction between plot - which the history of my grandfather's life provides, and story - which is the bit I've made up.  Yes, I've made up a story to fit the facts.  There will have to be an afterword...