Grrrr...

I had nearly completed a blog on the subject of why I often remember people and they don't remember me - when the computer went off because Mark had turned it off at the plug and I hadn't realised.  He made some sarcastic and unhelpful remark about it - so I am punishing him by not going to tidy Finn's room with him.   He spent about an hour writing his diary this morning, but my blog is apparently not as important.  Well, it obviously isn't - to him.  Also because he's not allowed to read my blog he is rather suspicous of it.   Rightly so I daresay - but it is inciddents like this that make me feel momentarily mad with him, and feel how impossible it is to carry on with him.

There was an interesting article the other day about the e-harmony company; their perception is that people who marry people of similar temperaments are much less likely to get divorced.  Mark and I have similar interests, but our temperaments are so drastically different that I wonder what possessed me sometimes.  I suppose we were very compatible in some ways and I just hadn't known him long enough to get ground down by the pessimism and suspicioun; there wasn't any time to know him for longer if we were going to have children.   He has many good qualities, but at present he is reeling off all the things that are wrong with him - he says he has a personality disorder (don't we all?) and that his short term memory is getting worse all the time (this is why he is so devoted to the diary).  I just don't know what to say when he says this.   I do know that his family think him very odd - but they are a heartless lot really - and I think Stella was definitely glad when I appeared on the scene, I did sense she was glad that someone else was taking on the responsibility for him.  She was very unfair to him - I am trying not to be.