Astrology - I repent

This year, since January, I have been keeping a careful note of my personal chart and all the transits that have occurred.   We are now six months into the experiment - and on the whole I feel as though there has been very little correlation between events and transits.   .

The only things I have noticed are that New and Full Moons do seem to have a certain pattern to them.  However, initiating stuff at the New Moon rather depends one one believing in it and doing it....

Aquarius... but does it mean anything?

 Well - that's the sun sign, and everyone knows this means nothing - so you have to read the forecasts for your rising sign too - but of course if you read that and it says Jupiter is going into your 10th house and everything will be fab you know it won't for a bit - because your 10th house cusp is half way through that sign... so you'll have to wait for all that until the end of September or early October, by which time Mercury will have gone retrograde again - so that will rather diminish the effect.   Oh dear.

I think the reason I have been allowing myself to listen to the siren voice of Susan Miller again is because I do have a number of Jupiter aspects this month that did look rather promising.   A few posts ago I allowed myself a few predictions for this month.  It turns out that the negative predictions were more correct: my mother in law's house sale fell through - so we have not been able to "relax" financially.  We have had a couple of bits of work in the pipeline which is great - so we are not totally down at the bottom again, which is good since Ned doesn't want us to borrow any more money.   However, income prospects are not looking good - but the devastating events of this month are not written in the stars (I don't know which house represents the death of friends - friends are 11 so it would be the 8th house from that, counting inclusively, it will be 6th house - normally work and health - not much happening there at the moment....  but I would expect their deaths to be seen in their own charts not mine - probably a big something or other in the 12th house - as my long dead friend Jane Davies had - which I misread, because I couldn't bear to think of the darker implications of it.

Anyway, I am meant to be in the midst of a period of emotional and financial security - and I feel like a stunned mullet... the last few days I have felt as if my mind has gone awol - some of it is because of the shock of Marion's death, and a low feeling because of Strat's death throes - which is one of those family intuitive things.  The financial security ship hasn't quite made it into the harbour although Mark is finally beginning to get a steady trickle of work - lots of small jobs around £1,000 but enough of those would keep us very happy.  Having 3 or 4 small jobs in the pipeline and a couple of tenders out too is encouraging.  I will still have to go back to teaching at CA in the autumn though - which I am not looking forward to.  I will enjoy it, but it has been wonderful to be able to get up in the morning and write - and I have been making progress.

Anyway - I decided to look at my transits starting in January - and the first one, Uranus passing over the pars fortunae was actually spot on - that was the w/e I got the work from Ruth - and heard about house sales in the offing... so maybe I should give it a bit longer before I give up.  Or just make sure I notice what's going on around the PF - does it work for other aspects - or only conjunctions?   So having started this post thinking I really must give up astrology I end it concluding that in fact there are far more correlations than I realised - it's just that the events aren't usually earth-shattering or life changing.... when Susan Miller says "You are going to be plucked out and given a major career change" that doesn't mean anything more than "you will get some freelance tuition work"  and when she says "I foresee a great deal of travelling for you this month" it means a 19 mile commute to Canterbury every day....and for several months afterwards too.

Semele? asking Jupiter for a favour?  Can't remember - but this could be me, trying to placate the powers above, and asking for a shorter working week, an improvement in my living conditions, and a bit more income.  

In fact, I do not repent of astrology at all, but I have noticed that certain transits are more significant than others.   Firstly Mercury transits seem to have no effect at all.  Venus are mildly pleasant, Mars sometimes brings a burst of energy - depends where it is. The Moon - apart from when Full (and perhaps when new) seems to bring nothing whatsoever.  Jupiter - well, I don't really find it does a lot for me - on the other hand it's been in Cancer for the last year - where I have only the Moon, right at the end, practically in Leo - and it hasn't touched many other planets in the last few months... so I am happy to be astonished.   Saturn I am assured is the thing you have to spend all your life struggling with - and sometimes I feel that's true, but a lot of Saturn transits don't seem very full of impact.  I am looking forward to my 2nd Saturn return next year with some excitement... and Uranus - really, this is the only planet I can say with any confidence has a real impact on me.  Neptune tends to bring fog - which is a pity since I have it on the Ascendant - but of course it also brings creativity and beauty and lurve and spiritual awareness (Om!).  Pluto - well, of course, all the astrologers say this is too slow moving for words - but I think it does have an impact - like tectonic plates slowly grinding away in one's life.  I had it sextile the Ascendant a while back, and in some ways I emerged a different person... perhaps it's like those fish who nibble at the dead skin on your feet...small, slow but effective.

Jupiter in 10th house
Having Jupiter in 10th house sounds marvellous - the last time it happened we moved from London to Ramsgate, on the previous occasion, 1990-1ish it whisked though the house very fast, but in the run up I went freelance, bought a flat and met Mark - so another year connected with moving house (opposite 4th house I suppose).  The previous year was 1979 when I left university, moved in with Ronnie et al, got my horrible job at the Berlitz and began writing a useless attempt at a novel - and then towards the end moved in with James.    None of these are exactly associated with me covering myself with glory in the public sphere - but maybe I wasn't trying then.  So perhaps there is something in this - although all 3 of these years seem to be associated with moving house in a significant way.

What the stars foretell

Having ranted on about astrology, I must do a "scientific" test.  So - the major transits - according to my chart - i.e. personal to me, the hour of my birth (and a few thousand others born at the same time) which are coming up are as follows:

Pluto trine Mars: ends December 2013 Great feats, energy, drive for success, influence over others, making tremendous efforts to succeed and working very hard; this will re-build my self-confidence and enable me to believe in myself again

Have certainly been working fairly hard... and making efforts to succeed.  The transit does not suggest one will succeed however. Self-belief was doing OK - but have had several massive blips of despair.  These predictions (from the astrodienst website) don't bother about which houses the transits effect - perhaps because it doesn't matter - but given that Pluto is in 2nd/3rd house (money, possession, communications,siblings, cousins, local travel) and Mars is in 7th (partnerships) one would expect to see some sort of progress there.  But maybe the houses and their rulerships matter less (this wouldn't surprise me). 

Neptune trine Neptune: ends January 2014 (also Neptune trine Ascendant)  Greater empathy, sensitivity to others, compassion, sympathy.  An attraction to mysticism - increased idealism. Willingless to support others for no return...  Tending to idealise people, the need to escape to an inner world, also reflecting on one's own inadequacies.  A teacher or influential person may enter your life

Actually, I have been very supportive - but usually support not wanted, I have had sympathy for those I previously thought rather tough.  I have also had less and less time for really annoying irritating people and have had little empathy for them.  I don't think I've idealised people much - feet of clay have been appearing everywhere - escape to an inner world?  I do that all the time.  No gurus so far... Neptune in 4th house - trine Neptune in 1st - suggests personal stuff and domestic stuff - fair enough.  Don't think I've been idealising the family - support for no return just about sums up the housewife's lot (but M has been v. good recently).

Most of these are transits that are nearly over; the only one just starting (Jupiter sextile Mars) that could be subjected to some sort of scrutiny is this one.  I am putting it here in full so that I can pick it over when it ends in March. I have highlighted the more positive bits - which I would particularly like to be true.  We will see.

This is a time of high energy and independent initiative. You feel very self-confident and capable of tackling almost anything within reason. It is a good time to start a project, and most activities that you take up now should have a successful outcome. However, you must take some positive action in order to get the most out of this influence. It brings you opportunities, but you have to pick them up. However, this should not be much of a problem because this influence usually makes you feel like taking action.

You are unusually clear now about what you intend to do in any situation. Your will is strong, and you aim at achieving certain very definite goals. You can act decisively and with conviction. Under an influence like this you can convince other people of your point of view and get them to follow your lead. In fact, this is an unusually good time for working with other people because you can get others to identify their interests with yours.

Everything you do is aimed at enlarging your sphere of interests. You do not act out of petty motives, always having high-minded and high-level goals in mind. Others will respect your obvious integrity, which will make them more willing to help you.

If you have to go to a court of law at this time, the proceedings should turn out to your benefit. In fact, the chances are that you will be able to work out a compromise that will be advantageous to both parties.

Professional success is likely at this time, because of your excellent sense of timing and your ability to take advantage of every opportunity that comes along. You should be able to advance yourself without alienating others. They will recognize that your success is well deserved.

I hope I won't have to go to court - I am not sure about convincing other people of my point of view, but it would be nice if I could persuade agents and publishers that The Romantic Feminist was a novel they really wanted to publish.   The only problem is how to remember to check this prediction in March.  But no doubt I will be too busy fending off admirers, gurus and others to be maintaining a blog.  Jupiter is in 9th, Mars in 7th - again suggesting publishing/partnerships ... it's another of these "if not now, when?" transits - which seem to perfectly reflect things happening in your life... but don't necessarily predict a great outcome.  We shall see.

The question is...
Why favour one transit over another - why not highlight Uranus sextile Venus - surprising lurve opportunities? Or Uranus trine Saturn - which sounds potentially exciting to me... I've got Saturn in 2nd house (money) - so that might suggesting positive surprises/opportunities in that area.  There are a whole lot of transits going on...Saturn opp Mars might be a bummer... especially with Mars in 7th house - but no one's highlighted that one.  Oh dear, if I carry on like this, I may find myself persuading myself to do it myself - a bit more carefully.  The object of this exercise was to give up astrology - not do it harder.  Perhaps what I should simply do is give up Susan Miller

Astrology - a denunciation

I have always been interested in astrology - but it was something I renounced not long after Ned was born - I was persuaded by the more ardently Christian members of the family that it was the "devil's work" - and I ought to have faith in God.  So I obeyed this - sold my expensive astrology books to second hand bookshops - I made about £60 from this - nearly 20 years ago, and actually disposed of one of them in a bin in Burgess Park (or did I just dream that?)

The fateful events of 2009 drove me back to astrology in a big way - and I felt my choice was vindicated as I consulted ephemeris charts, found that Uranus was heavily implicated in the turns of events that year.  I thought that much of my "madness/love/delusion/creativity" that year was due to Neptune - things seemed to fit.  Unfortunately it was not enough to be aware, I came to lean on it - and expect things from it.  After my mother's death there was a crisis - partly because I had "predicted" her death that autumn - and I extricated myself a little - took a more objective view.

Then I became a follower of the dreaded Susan Miller.  Having previously dealt with my own chart and transits - and found them helpful, if not particularly exciting, I was suddenly dragged into a wildly optimistic monthly outlook - which usually, around this stage in the month began to look increasingly ludicrous.  This coincided with a point at which everything seemed to be coming up nettles - so I became fairly desperate for something to lighten the atmosphere.  The lure was that she made everything sound as if this was going to be the time when the tide turned.

A few nights ago I decided I would give it up.  (Until the September horoscope comes out).  I felt it was feeding expectations and adding to depression (see blog passim.).  It seemed to me that very few of the transits that were meant to be helpful were any help at all - Jupiter could do what it liked, nothing it did seemed to benefit me.  I watched our domestic/financial situation go from bad to worse, while the skies beamed upon me and told me I was living through a fortunate phase... God save me from the predictions of disaster.

And yet... underlying the perky chat from S Miller, there was a sense that some things were allied with the stars - the need for hard work and resilience - the underlying gloom engendered by Pluto-Uranus square, (my 3rd and 5th houses at odds might explain why communication, creativity and family matters are not going well).  And now, waking at 4 am and feeling the need to write this - while the Full Moon shines down.  Some sort of ending, some sort of crisis.  Having said all this, what difference will it make?  Well, I have deleted a number of files - but I can't help hoping that the  Jupiter sextile Mars  transit will have a positive effect.

Am I an idiot?
Well, yes, in scientific rationalist terms I am an idiot - I don't mind being a fool for Christ - but being a fool for a transit of Saturn is ludicrous. On the other hand, I would have to be in complete denial if I didn't notice that there had been certain correlations at significant times in my life with planetary activity.  Yes, I know... there isn't a direct "effect" - it's simply that the positions seem to reflect what's happening - not cause it.  And if you see a particular pattern coming up - you can anticipate certain conditions.  But the problem is not in our stars, but that we follow them, or believe in them too much.   I would still love to believe in the Jupiter/Mars transit - but I am fed up with disappointments.  And because of that, I will be reading my September horoscopes as usual, and wondering whether new moons will bring opportunities etc. and trying very hard to bury my hopes under several buckets of salty realism.

Susan Miller's forecasts - July

She means well, she means so well, but she is doing us a disservice.

July was an extremely difficult month for me, starting with the argument with my mother in law on 30th June, followed by a week or so of preparations for the funeral in which she continued to have go's at us in various ways.  The funeral itself (12th) was fine, but afterwards I  became progressively more exhausted and by 19th July was wishing I wasn't here (or anywhere) any more and going to the doctor to see if I could have anti-depressants again. I worked hard on submissions, and managed abour 4.  As the month closed I was under incredible pressure with the work involving the Open Exhibition.  I felt angry, stressed, horrible.  I saw friends but nothing really seemed to reach me - occasionally an evening of booze and chat relieved the tension.   It was hot and beautiful, but I never made it to the beach.  I was indoors on the laptop.  I was submitting the novel, and not being able to write the other one.  I realised what I needed to do to the other one, but I also realised I couldn't start doing it now, so a frustrating time creatively too.


A bloody awful month, so it is just as well I didn't believe Susan Miller's prediction - for Scorpio, my ascendant, she said  A wonderful month ahead.   After 9th July money improves - well, we had a couple of extra students, but no new work, and on 22nd the boiler broke down (£300) and we had to be bailed out by my father.

From 8th July we were under the "golden triangle" which should have been especially fantastic because it was conjunct my ascendant - and Mars was in it too... it would be hard to find any way in which the last few weeks have been full of golden opportunities for me (apart from the submissions) - although Mark has actually been finding new potential sources of funding.  17th-19th  Peak of Golden Triangle - this will be a marvellous month for fun and love and you could find someone new in your life.... well, maybe I've rediscovered Mark's virtues...

My actual Sun sign horoscope was more accurate, it stressed that it would be a hardworking month.  It was, but I was not working hard for money, or for my own satisfaction, but on keeping other people happy... looking after the students, supporting the loathesome Stella, supporting Anna T (a bit) and then sorting out the open exhibition.  The only period when I was working for myself (potentially for money) was the period when I was doing submissions (15th-19th).  Apparently the work is going to continue until October - oh great!  Will I ever manage to write again?

Susan Miller & Positive Astrology

Susan Miller is a bouncily over-enthusiastic American astrologer who says everything is coming up roses all the time, when it clearly isn't and apologises when she has to give bad news.  Her sun sign horoscopes are nearly useless – her asc horoscopes are slightly less so.  In the last 3 years she has been spot on once... and it was about something unpleasant.  During June, the quality of her horoscope and the unrealistic expectations it raised added to my depression. She insisted that everything was really going to change for the better.   She is now making the same claims for July.  I have annotated her predictions in the last few months for both my ascendant and my sun sign, and the word "Yes" does not really appear, there's a certain amount of "perhaps" - or "maybe she means"....mostly the notes say "NO! NO! NO!" Often she is a bit fixed in her ideas, and occasionally makes mistakes which send me rushing to the ephemeris charts to check. 

When I say fixed in her ideas, I mean she tends to focus on one particular aspect of a house e.g. whenever something is related to the 3rd house she bangs on about contracts, and of course, these are within 3rd house influence (although I think they have 9th house connections), but there's an awful lot of other stuff in 3rd house, and I find if there's a 3rd house aspect it's usually about neighbours, siblings or cousins - or one's wider family.  A recent Capricorn full moon occurred just before the death of my pa-in-law - I had already dismissed the contract-related prediction she made, his death made more astro sense - although someone will say, no, no, father in laws are ruled by the 4th house (i.e. the 10th house from the partner/7th house) but 3rd house seems a sensible one to bung the in-laws into. SM may be making contracts all the time, the rest of us are hanging out with neighbours, and family. 

The truth about 2013!

In a recent (26^th June) Washington Post chat she admitted that 2013 was a dire year astrologically. However, like oncologists, she clearly believes in preparing people for the worst by dripping out the bad news slowly - i.e., not preparing them, and instead making them feel progressively more  demoralised by disappointed hopes.  She said that this was such an awful year she was trying to bring out the best – well, that’s the first time she’s said it was a difficult year – apart from occasionally name checking the Uranus-Pluto square as the cause of much political upheaval around the world.  But, I continue to read her... although I am now taking her with buckets of salt.  I am sure personally she is very nice, but I cannot help feeling that this is the wrong sort of astrology - surely we should be prepared for challenging times rather than having it implied that all Scorpios are about to be successful in publishing, law and higher education and perhaps the media...She has a caring, hardworking persona and devoted followers who post endless "me! ME! Me!" questions on Twitter...which seldom get answered, no doubt she is very busy with her contractual issues!

Hope springs eternal...

I guess I just have that European cynicism about sunny US optimism, and perhaps with good reason. We are all such suckers for hope - my father has recently started berating hope... as a fraudulent thing that leads to distress and disappoinment.(but vainly flapt its tinsel wing as Marvell wrote)  It is a sad thing that he feels like this but after a lifetime of optimism I can understand why he does.  My endless optimism hasn't really made things any better in the last 3-4 years.  We are still here, alive, but financially at our worst ever, despite endless efforts to find new sources of work and income.  So I still turn to SM's predictions for July, knowing that she is going to generate whoops of excitement with her news of the "golden triangle" between Jup/Sat/Nep in the water signs... we shall see whether anything comes of this.  I'm not holding my breath.