This time there were some weird ones, but all the US ones seemed to be linked with the military - I skipped through those fairly quickly. I found an interesting one called American Idle - which I liked, someone clearly quite right wing but interesting as well. I would have liked to follow it - but didn't seem to have the capacity. There was a wargame one with photos of toy soldiers, and just a swathe of stuff that makes one feel one's world view is totally out of sync with everyone else. I keep thinking there must be someone of a vaguely similar outlook out there. Oh well, at least there weren't any more adorable families.
I really should be dealing with the financial issues - but I'm just too tired. I think I can give myself a bit of a break.
Reading while dead
Tuesday 31 May 2011
Grand Unifying Theory
You know, this is an issue that has been bugging me for some time.... I know so little about particle physics and so on, that I hardly dare express myself on the topic. However, last night, watching the Adam Curtis programme about the development of the internet and the ideology behind it, I found myself remembering an unfinished discussion with J and since I can't have it with him, I will try to have it here - who knows, I might even get a comment!
J said "Science teaches us to look for a single theory which explains everything." (Once again, I paraphrase and may be wrong). My contrarian gene immediately wanted to say "but why should there be a single theory which explains everything?" why shouldn't there be a number of theories which interact to explain different things?.
I think this is arguably some kind of fashionable post-modern approach, in that it attacks the "absolute truth" idea, and proceeds from human experience, but it occurs to me that the reason that science seeks a unifying theory may be because science after all developed in tandem with theology - and theology uses (ultimately) God to explain everything - and theology searches for God in everything - whereas science as an intellectual practice - cannot apply God, but seeks to find something else that explains everything. So far, so good. Nothing can shake a believer from a theocentric explanation, and God can usually explain stuff, in the sense that we all know He moves in a mysterious way etc. But why should there be an over-arching scientific theory? I think I read somewhere that there are parts of the universe where gravity does not apply. If this is true, it seems to me that there are likely to be circumstances where any theory may not apply.
I wish I knew if it was true though, where would gravity not apply? Inside an electron? Dunno.
I suppose rather than extrapolating from a "god-based" theory - I am thinking of a theory more based on human behaviour: humans are diverse and do not behave the same way in every situation - and this seems a perfectly acceptable possibility about scientific laws.... and thus if the GUT was to be made based on various laws/theories (gravity, thermodynamics, evolution, relativity - to name a few) some of which did not always behave consistently.... well, arguably it makes it harder to find the data to get to that theory, or maybe it just doesn't exist, or like whatever happened before the Big Bang is only part of our imagination - and has no reality. Of course - apparently nothing happened before Big Bang since time and space did not exist then (apparently) - but I was brought up on ex nihilo nihil fit and I find it impossible (like most people) to believe that things just start without any cause, any prior notice or begin without any cause.
What was interesting on "Watched over by Machines of Incredible Grace" (WOMIG) was the idea that seemed to be inherent in the "Limits to Growth" arguments that Nature maintained some kind of status quo. Of course the reality is very different, the constant geological upheavals and weather changes, and one predator wiping out another species has been going for ever - there is no state to which we can revert as a "norm". It would be nice to keep things in an equilibrium - but not within our power, and to maintain an environmental/economic equilibrium is to condemn developing countries to perpetual suffering and to never develop. While politically unsavoury, this is clearly an easier object to achieve (or was 50 years ago) than persuading citizens of developed countries to give up their lifestyles in favour of helping 3rd world countries raise their standards of living.
Something that hadn't occurred to me before was that traditionally we had the idea that humanity was a "special creation" - this idea persisted beyond the decline in widespread religious belief in Europe - but by the 60s-70s we began to be seen as one species amongst many and our specialness has declined. With that I suppose has come the rise of "animal rights" - and a lot of other relativistic stuff... I daresay the idea of humans as special will continue to decline in the "west" - it is an idea that's closely linked to a belief in God.
But this is just a collection of ideas nudged by WOMIG - and it doesn't answer the question "Does there have to be a grand unifying theory"? And I can't get anywhere with it. I should read more widely, but most sciencey books (pace Jared Diamond) are really dull and difficult to read - especially to a non-specialist.
As for my current reading..... well, that's another story.
J said "Science teaches us to look for a single theory which explains everything." (Once again, I paraphrase and may be wrong). My contrarian gene immediately wanted to say "but why should there be a single theory which explains everything?" why shouldn't there be a number of theories which interact to explain different things?.
I think this is arguably some kind of fashionable post-modern approach, in that it attacks the "absolute truth" idea, and proceeds from human experience, but it occurs to me that the reason that science seeks a unifying theory may be because science after all developed in tandem with theology - and theology uses (ultimately) God to explain everything - and theology searches for God in everything - whereas science as an intellectual practice - cannot apply God, but seeks to find something else that explains everything. So far, so good. Nothing can shake a believer from a theocentric explanation, and God can usually explain stuff, in the sense that we all know He moves in a mysterious way etc. But why should there be an over-arching scientific theory? I think I read somewhere that there are parts of the universe where gravity does not apply. If this is true, it seems to me that there are likely to be circumstances where any theory may not apply.
I wish I knew if it was true though, where would gravity not apply? Inside an electron? Dunno.
I suppose rather than extrapolating from a "god-based" theory - I am thinking of a theory more based on human behaviour: humans are diverse and do not behave the same way in every situation - and this seems a perfectly acceptable possibility about scientific laws.... and thus if the GUT was to be made based on various laws/theories (gravity, thermodynamics, evolution, relativity - to name a few) some of which did not always behave consistently.... well, arguably it makes it harder to find the data to get to that theory, or maybe it just doesn't exist, or like whatever happened before the Big Bang is only part of our imagination - and has no reality. Of course - apparently nothing happened before Big Bang since time and space did not exist then (apparently) - but I was brought up on ex nihilo nihil fit and I find it impossible (like most people) to believe that things just start without any cause, any prior notice or begin without any cause.
What was interesting on "Watched over by Machines of Incredible Grace" (WOMIG) was the idea that seemed to be inherent in the "Limits to Growth" arguments that Nature maintained some kind of status quo. Of course the reality is very different, the constant geological upheavals and weather changes, and one predator wiping out another species has been going for ever - there is no state to which we can revert as a "norm". It would be nice to keep things in an equilibrium - but not within our power, and to maintain an environmental/economic equilibrium is to condemn developing countries to perpetual suffering and to never develop. While politically unsavoury, this is clearly an easier object to achieve (or was 50 years ago) than persuading citizens of developed countries to give up their lifestyles in favour of helping 3rd world countries raise their standards of living.
Something that hadn't occurred to me before was that traditionally we had the idea that humanity was a "special creation" - this idea persisted beyond the decline in widespread religious belief in Europe - but by the 60s-70s we began to be seen as one species amongst many and our specialness has declined. With that I suppose has come the rise of "animal rights" - and a lot of other relativistic stuff... I daresay the idea of humans as special will continue to decline in the "west" - it is an idea that's closely linked to a belief in God.
But this is just a collection of ideas nudged by WOMIG - and it doesn't answer the question "Does there have to be a grand unifying theory"? And I can't get anywhere with it. I should read more widely, but most sciencey books (pace Jared Diamond) are really dull and difficult to read - especially to a non-specialist.
As for my current reading..... well, that's another story.
Monday 30 May 2011
Dosh
The overwhelming problem of money hangs over me, and we are slowly getting away from our situation, but there is still much to be done. It does make me react like a rabbit in the headlights - but the plan is today to re-submit our tax return, work out the budget and do some serious work on it tomorrow.
It is a Bank Holiday today - and I am looking forward to a real rest, since I think I have worked pretty hard. Sam and I are doing some pro bono work for the Arts Festival... and I am spending my Saturdays baking and Sundays flogging food. The first week of the "Bread of Heaven" stall was rather disappointing, £30 profit, before I accounted for the cost of ingredients. But this week I just prayed that I would make £100 - and we did! Exactly £100 after the cost of the stall. That was so fantastic, and I felt that perhaps this was the activity God was favouring. I was asked to do another stall at Rebecca Sunshine's family camp weekend, and a woman took my card and said she was thinking of starting a bakery in Broadstairs. So who knows what will happen?
Meanwhile, no work on Conscience this week - just as it was going so well.... it's a great displacement activity, but I reall;y do have to deal with financial issues. Just think how great I will feel when it's sorted. I could aim to do it by Wednesday evening - so that I can clear the decks for Viv's visit. She and her friend Kate are coming to visit - and are paying me to cook dinner for us on Thursday - rather than going out! She's requested a lamb tagine... and I'll do some Moroccan salads, couscous, and some puddings... when I'm not worrying about how to ensure that some debts get paid.
Other excitement, a new tap in the bathroom - fitted by our neighbour Julian for a reasonable fee... he also re-set some of the tiles, dealt with a damp problem and tried to sort out the intermittent fault with the loo - but didn't, I don't think anyone can, it';s something to do with water pressure I suspect. So we wil have to live with the intermittent door banging noises...
It is a Bank Holiday today - and I am looking forward to a real rest, since I think I have worked pretty hard. Sam and I are doing some pro bono work for the Arts Festival... and I am spending my Saturdays baking and Sundays flogging food. The first week of the "Bread of Heaven" stall was rather disappointing, £30 profit, before I accounted for the cost of ingredients. But this week I just prayed that I would make £100 - and we did! Exactly £100 after the cost of the stall. That was so fantastic, and I felt that perhaps this was the activity God was favouring. I was asked to do another stall at Rebecca Sunshine's family camp weekend, and a woman took my card and said she was thinking of starting a bakery in Broadstairs. So who knows what will happen?
Meanwhile, no work on Conscience this week - just as it was going so well.... it's a great displacement activity, but I reall;y do have to deal with financial issues. Just think how great I will feel when it's sorted. I could aim to do it by Wednesday evening - so that I can clear the decks for Viv's visit. She and her friend Kate are coming to visit - and are paying me to cook dinner for us on Thursday - rather than going out! She's requested a lamb tagine... and I'll do some Moroccan salads, couscous, and some puddings... when I'm not worrying about how to ensure that some debts get paid.
Other excitement, a new tap in the bathroom - fitted by our neighbour Julian for a reasonable fee... he also re-set some of the tiles, dealt with a damp problem and tried to sort out the intermittent fault with the loo - but didn't, I don't think anyone can, it';s something to do with water pressure I suspect. So we wil have to live with the intermittent door banging noises...
Monday 23 May 2011
The Literary Market
... is alas not yet ready for the slightness of the story of The Formative Year. For a first novel one needs a hook of some kind. So writes the latest rejecting agent. It was a very nice email, very complimentary, and the kind that makes one want to keep trying - but can I re-write my pitch to make it more 'hooky' or shall I just forget it. Another thought is that Conscience has a much better pitch than TFY. So should I blaze ahead with that, and try and get agent/publisher to accept TFY as my second novel - i.e. retire from the world of pitching for a bit? C is going "quite well" i.e. I have now got to about 30,000 words, he's made his first proposal, and when I write it is all coming out nice and smoothly.
Latest agent (Gaby Banks of Shiel Land) described my writing as "smooth" I believe this is a good thing - but I don't quite like it - someone else has described it thus - so it's obviously a term in use. What's wrong with being smooth? I don't know, it suggests a faintly boring/predictable nature. Maybe it just means grammatical or lacking any unpleasant syntactical surprises? - and she liked the characters too. That was reassuring, I feel I concentrate too much on the central character - and no complaints about the 1st person/3rd person shifts either.
Other markets - well, there was the Margate Bazaar - I made £30 - which is about £2 per hour for the work involved. That said, there wasn't a great turnout - although the weather was good : no banana buns, no croissants. Maybe banana bread - maybe fruit cake. Next week more savoury stuff - quiche, flaounes, sausage rolls? Pasties? Pasty bolognese? That could be popular. Better have a look at some books. Need something to draw the eye to the stall. Foccacia not a great seller. But I might make some tomato foccacia because that, with a glass of white wine, makes a good lunch while one's on the stall. I'll take my own bottle next week - a glass from the pub is only a quid less than a bottle (actually, I got some really good cheap Soave for £3.29 the other day).
Needless to say, having managed to lose 4kgs in the last 2 weeks, this past weekend has not been great for dieting, especially as we went out to dinner at Anette & Neville's last night - and then to Alex's for drinks and snacks on Sunday. Generally, we had an amazingly sociable and hardworking weekend. I have decided to start having Sunday night soirees, preferably in the garden, over the summer - we'll try and have 3, June - July and August, but we must also arrange the next Midsummer Picnic.
Latest agent (Gaby Banks of Shiel Land) described my writing as "smooth" I believe this is a good thing - but I don't quite like it - someone else has described it thus - so it's obviously a term in use. What's wrong with being smooth? I don't know, it suggests a faintly boring/predictable nature. Maybe it just means grammatical or lacking any unpleasant syntactical surprises? - and she liked the characters too. That was reassuring, I feel I concentrate too much on the central character - and no complaints about the 1st person/3rd person shifts either.
Other markets - well, there was the Margate Bazaar - I made £30 - which is about £2 per hour for the work involved. That said, there wasn't a great turnout - although the weather was good : no banana buns, no croissants. Maybe banana bread - maybe fruit cake. Next week more savoury stuff - quiche, flaounes, sausage rolls? Pasties? Pasty bolognese? That could be popular. Better have a look at some books. Need something to draw the eye to the stall. Foccacia not a great seller. But I might make some tomato foccacia because that, with a glass of white wine, makes a good lunch while one's on the stall. I'll take my own bottle next week - a glass from the pub is only a quid less than a bottle (actually, I got some really good cheap Soave for £3.29 the other day).
Needless to say, having managed to lose 4kgs in the last 2 weeks, this past weekend has not been great for dieting, especially as we went out to dinner at Anette & Neville's last night - and then to Alex's for drinks and snacks on Sunday. Generally, we had an amazingly sociable and hardworking weekend. I have decided to start having Sunday night soirees, preferably in the garden, over the summer - we'll try and have 3, June - July and August, but we must also arrange the next Midsummer Picnic.
Friday 20 May 2011
Wingnut Dishwashers Union?
For some strange reason when I began to type the title for this entry the above phrase appeared in the box - I suspect it's the name of one of the bands dear to the boys. It seemed better than the title I had thought of - especially as the Dishwashers' Union is active in the kitchen as I write - all 3 of them.
Why am I writing? Because I can - just - after a couple of glasses of wine. I am amazed, I think I actually missed Mark today...
The next few weekends are going to be odd. In a mad attempt to earn some money I have been talked into getting a market stall in Margate to sell baked goods - I'm calling it Bread of Heaven! The cheek of it - but maybe someone will notice the Christian reference - and maybe someone will take my card...
Had a lovely surprise today - an unexpected cheque for £150 and £50 cash from Mark's mother and M has an odd "cash in hand" job next week - so we can start hoarding money and putting it into a bank asap. I have described the current financial situation as fighting dragons while anvils rain on me.... but today I was seized by accidia - I wonder why it stopped being one of the 7 Deadly Sins? - and did virtually nothing, until I forced myself to go out. I did do somethings, but somehow when the internet isn't working properly it is distracting and ennervating, and I feel too irritable to cope with stuff.
Feel convinced there is some hideous virus in the imputer - but apparently there has been a lot of trouble recently with broadband and mobile phones, and everyone is getting jumpy about how dependent we are on them. True - but I could go back to putting letters in envelopes and looking things up in books again if necessary. I could even make phone calls.
Why am I writing? Because I can - just - after a couple of glasses of wine. I am amazed, I think I actually missed Mark today...
The next few weekends are going to be odd. In a mad attempt to earn some money I have been talked into getting a market stall in Margate to sell baked goods - I'm calling it Bread of Heaven! The cheek of it - but maybe someone will notice the Christian reference - and maybe someone will take my card...
Had a lovely surprise today - an unexpected cheque for £150 and £50 cash from Mark's mother and M has an odd "cash in hand" job next week - so we can start hoarding money and putting it into a bank asap. I have described the current financial situation as fighting dragons while anvils rain on me.... but today I was seized by accidia - I wonder why it stopped being one of the 7 Deadly Sins? - and did virtually nothing, until I forced myself to go out. I did do somethings, but somehow when the internet isn't working properly it is distracting and ennervating, and I feel too irritable to cope with stuff.
Feel convinced there is some hideous virus in the imputer - but apparently there has been a lot of trouble recently with broadband and mobile phones, and everyone is getting jumpy about how dependent we are on them. True - but I could go back to putting letters in envelopes and looking things up in books again if necessary. I could even make phone calls.
Thursday 19 May 2011
Snoozy schlepper
After a fantastic evening of reading group (this is not the monthly book group but 4 of us who meet to discuss and share books we like... ) I tried to work this morning - didn't get far, took M to station, and went to buy provisions.
Came home shattered and ravenous and ate tons of pistachios and crab sticks. Then I lay down and went to sleep! I awoke at 5.00pm to find Finn in my bedroom grumbling because he'd been ringing the doorbell for half an hour (allegedly) and had had to climb over the wall and come in through the back door - which was open as usual.
I politely pointed out that he was meant to have keys with him. Ironic this, because when I got home at 1.30 last night the door was locked and Finn was the one who came down to let me in. I heard his voice saying "mum?" nervously from within. It was extremely wet - it must have rained for that 10 minutes when I walked home, because it had made no difference to the pond level.
This really isn't very interesting is it? So I have to say, why am I writing it when I could be reading "The Blue Flower" by Penelope Fitzgerald? I dunno, because I haven't done very much today - this is because I did a lot yesterday - and so today has been a bit of a slump.
I woke from the afternoon slumber feeling extremely depressed, but it wore off after a cup of tea and an episode of the Simpsons with the boys.
Someone hinted at fostering as a financial solution - a couple of thousand a month would mean we could pay off our debts in a few years. And do all sorts of things around the house, and go on holidays. But would I be able to cope? And what would happen to the firm of HamlynHolmans.... ?
Came home shattered and ravenous and ate tons of pistachios and crab sticks. Then I lay down and went to sleep! I awoke at 5.00pm to find Finn in my bedroom grumbling because he'd been ringing the doorbell for half an hour (allegedly) and had had to climb over the wall and come in through the back door - which was open as usual.
I politely pointed out that he was meant to have keys with him. Ironic this, because when I got home at 1.30 last night the door was locked and Finn was the one who came down to let me in. I heard his voice saying "mum?" nervously from within. It was extremely wet - it must have rained for that 10 minutes when I walked home, because it had made no difference to the pond level.
This really isn't very interesting is it? So I have to say, why am I writing it when I could be reading "The Blue Flower" by Penelope Fitzgerald? I dunno, because I haven't done very much today - this is because I did a lot yesterday - and so today has been a bit of a slump.
I woke from the afternoon slumber feeling extremely depressed, but it wore off after a cup of tea and an episode of the Simpsons with the boys.
Someone hinted at fostering as a financial solution - a couple of thousand a month would mean we could pay off our debts in a few years. And do all sorts of things around the house, and go on holidays. But would I be able to cope? And what would happen to the firm of HamlynHolmans.... ?
Tuesday 17 May 2011
Schleppin' and a'schmoozin'
Yes, today I lived up to my blogname. Sam and I went to Margate - we found that the Lifeboat doesn't actually open at 12.00 although it says it does. We mooched about a bit, fatally went to the bookshop and I bought a book. The marvellous thing about it is because it's a charity shop the books are really sensibly priced. I could have bought more, but I thought guiltily about the tottering towers of books beside my bed, inside the bedside cupboard and along the mantelpiece and, last but not least, on the unread bookshelf.
Then we attempted to schmooze the owner of the Lifeboat who of course used to be head of Retail Marketing at BP. But we got some work from him, because halfway through the conversation it occurred that we didn't have to stick to marketing - we could take on any projects that small businesses didn't have time for. So we said this vaguely, and he said he was looking for a property because he wanted to expand and if we could find him one.... so we have a job!
We then had lunch - nice little guinea fowl pie - but their food is regrettably veg-free so not very suitable for me. I also drank some medium cider and it was still disgusting. I fear I only like sweet cider, that is so babyish, and what I really like is Norman/Breton cider - which is delicious not English cider which seems to aspire to the condition of vinegar without being honest enough to say so.
Then we did advanced schlepping - i.e. wandered around Margate, calling at various favoured locations : Qing to see Anne-Marie and coo over the furniture (Sam), then to 7th Magpie to find Roxanne, the market organiser, then back to the British Heart Foundation shop to see if they had any Eames furniture - they didn't, but they did have a mahogany octagonal sewing table - which they were not selling in the shop, but putting on E-bay. A rare item. I bought a very nice Utility style trolley for £20 - this I left there for subsequent collection. It is Mark's wedding anniversary present - for him to do his Airfix kits on.
I know I shouldn't feel vaguely humiliated by a husband who does Airfix kits but....
Then back to the Old Town - a vital cup of tea while we dawdled and waited for Janet - we chatted with her, suggested we might carry out various tasks for her... and she seemed interested. She's expanding the Pie Factory so there may be opportunities. Then drifted to Droit House, up the hill to the car, and home.
I don't know if it was the dawdling around (quite a bit of walking today by my standards - Sam would laugh if she read that) but I was catatonic when I came home and had to go for a lie-down.
Now I have a few tasks for the rest of the week: sort out the new bank accounts, deal with the tax office, arrange everything necessary for the market stall - yes, I am going to do it, even though I have a certain reluctance. Shall I do croissants? I will have to spend a fortune on Butter - must go to Aldi tomorrow.
Then we attempted to schmooze the owner of the Lifeboat who of course used to be head of Retail Marketing at BP. But we got some work from him, because halfway through the conversation it occurred that we didn't have to stick to marketing - we could take on any projects that small businesses didn't have time for. So we said this vaguely, and he said he was looking for a property because he wanted to expand and if we could find him one.... so we have a job!
We then had lunch - nice little guinea fowl pie - but their food is regrettably veg-free so not very suitable for me. I also drank some medium cider and it was still disgusting. I fear I only like sweet cider, that is so babyish, and what I really like is Norman/Breton cider - which is delicious not English cider which seems to aspire to the condition of vinegar without being honest enough to say so.
Then we did advanced schlepping - i.e. wandered around Margate, calling at various favoured locations : Qing to see Anne-Marie and coo over the furniture (Sam), then to 7th Magpie to find Roxanne, the market organiser, then back to the British Heart Foundation shop to see if they had any Eames furniture - they didn't, but they did have a mahogany octagonal sewing table - which they were not selling in the shop, but putting on E-bay. A rare item. I bought a very nice Utility style trolley for £20 - this I left there for subsequent collection. It is Mark's wedding anniversary present - for him to do his Airfix kits on.
I know I shouldn't feel vaguely humiliated by a husband who does Airfix kits but....
Then back to the Old Town - a vital cup of tea while we dawdled and waited for Janet - we chatted with her, suggested we might carry out various tasks for her... and she seemed interested. She's expanding the Pie Factory so there may be opportunities. Then drifted to Droit House, up the hill to the car, and home.
I don't know if it was the dawdling around (quite a bit of walking today by my standards - Sam would laugh if she read that) but I was catatonic when I came home and had to go for a lie-down.
Now I have a few tasks for the rest of the week: sort out the new bank accounts, deal with the tax office, arrange everything necessary for the market stall - yes, I am going to do it, even though I have a certain reluctance. Shall I do croissants? I will have to spend a fortune on Butter - must go to Aldi tomorrow.
Sunday 15 May 2011
Not so neurotic weekend
Well, Saturday was nice. I got up at a sensible way - found I had now lost over 3kg since Monday - and then cooked food for lunch: courgette and goat cheese quiche with flakey pastry, a greek salad, asparagus with hollandaise sauce, new potatoes, and a French chocolate cake. Anna came laden with gifts (she will never be rich, she is far too generous - I actually know what "generous to a fault" means). She brought me a beautiful rose bush - in flower, a Mary Rose - a David Austin rose, large fat pink flowers, only about 1 m high, good scent. She also brought a bottle of rose wine, some chocs and sweeties for the boys.
We had g&t in the garden, which was a delight, and then ate. Then we sat on the lawn in chairs and talked about lots of things. It is so nice to talk to her, because she likes to talk about proper subjects like Richard Dawkins and Marx and so on. We joked that I was giving her respite care - since she got the day off from looking after her dear old father and her rather tricky old mother. (To say nothing of anxiety about husband, younger son, and having just lost her job after a stress-induced nervous breakdown). We also discussed wood mice - which their house has too. She found one drowned in a bucket a few weeks ago - and it made her cry dreadfully (as she was in the middle of the worst part of the crisis). I recognised that sort of thing with grim pleasure...she said she couldn't stop thinking about it's struggles to escape from the bucket. Oh metaphor!
There was a delightful moment when Ned came down - he did a double take, because for some reason he thought it was the "other Anna" - and then he was so pleased and surprised to see her. She is a genius with boys having had two of her own, plus 18 years of teaching boys at Borden Grammar School. She is missing teaching the children already. One boy in Year 7 asked another teacher "What happened to that nice old lady who used to teach us?"
Then we had a walk down to the Harbour to see Suzy and show Anna "Nice Things" - this caused some confusion as she didn't realise it was a shop - and when I said "I can show you nice things" she assumed I was talking about the beauties of the town.
It was quiet in the aftermath of the FA cup final, but we had a good time chatting to Suzy - and, as I had hoped, Anna bought a couple of things, and I found some really nice cufflinks for Ned's dress shirt (!). Mark kindly went back for the car - as I was getting back pains. We washed up, then went up to bed with leftovers and white wine (latest discovery Trinacria Bianco from Waitrose 3.99) - and watched a sensational French thriller (based on an Elmore Leonard novel but rather pleasingly set around the Ile de France - the phrase "la police de Versailles" had a slightly anachronistic sound to it - but of course Versailles still exists; some of the action took place in the Foret de Rambouillet.... the film was Ne dis a Personne - v. good, all about corruption and powerful individuals doing wicked things. And this morning we woke up to the strange news story about Dominique Strauss-Kahn (spelling??)'s rape accusation.
Today I have ironed, tidied the kitchen, eaten lunch and then lapsed into a slightly neurotic weekend behaviour. It is grey and breezy and I am feeling a little bit - well at a loose end. But I will find other things to do on Sundays. The "other Anna" has suggested that I run a market stall in Margate on Sundays for the next 6 weeks. It costs £20 a week - it could be fun. They are keen to have food stalls apparently. I could do that very easily. I wonder how much money I would make? And do I have enough money to afford to buy the ingredients? Anyway, a few practical problems have distracted me from being drawn into fantasies.
We had g&t in the garden, which was a delight, and then ate. Then we sat on the lawn in chairs and talked about lots of things. It is so nice to talk to her, because she likes to talk about proper subjects like Richard Dawkins and Marx and so on. We joked that I was giving her respite care - since she got the day off from looking after her dear old father and her rather tricky old mother. (To say nothing of anxiety about husband, younger son, and having just lost her job after a stress-induced nervous breakdown). We also discussed wood mice - which their house has too. She found one drowned in a bucket a few weeks ago - and it made her cry dreadfully (as she was in the middle of the worst part of the crisis). I recognised that sort of thing with grim pleasure...she said she couldn't stop thinking about it's struggles to escape from the bucket. Oh metaphor!
There was a delightful moment when Ned came down - he did a double take, because for some reason he thought it was the "other Anna" - and then he was so pleased and surprised to see her. She is a genius with boys having had two of her own, plus 18 years of teaching boys at Borden Grammar School. She is missing teaching the children already. One boy in Year 7 asked another teacher "What happened to that nice old lady who used to teach us?"
Then we had a walk down to the Harbour to see Suzy and show Anna "Nice Things" - this caused some confusion as she didn't realise it was a shop - and when I said "I can show you nice things" she assumed I was talking about the beauties of the town.
It was quiet in the aftermath of the FA cup final, but we had a good time chatting to Suzy - and, as I had hoped, Anna bought a couple of things, and I found some really nice cufflinks for Ned's dress shirt (!). Mark kindly went back for the car - as I was getting back pains. We washed up, then went up to bed with leftovers and white wine (latest discovery Trinacria Bianco from Waitrose 3.99) - and watched a sensational French thriller (based on an Elmore Leonard novel but rather pleasingly set around the Ile de France - the phrase "la police de Versailles" had a slightly anachronistic sound to it - but of course Versailles still exists; some of the action took place in the Foret de Rambouillet.... the film was Ne dis a Personne - v. good, all about corruption and powerful individuals doing wicked things. And this morning we woke up to the strange news story about Dominique Strauss-Kahn (spelling??)'s rape accusation.
Today I have ironed, tidied the kitchen, eaten lunch and then lapsed into a slightly neurotic weekend behaviour. It is grey and breezy and I am feeling a little bit - well at a loose end. But I will find other things to do on Sundays. The "other Anna" has suggested that I run a market stall in Margate on Sundays for the next 6 weeks. It costs £20 a week - it could be fun. They are keen to have food stalls apparently. I could do that very easily. I wonder how much money I would make? And do I have enough money to afford to buy the ingredients? Anyway, a few practical problems have distracted me from being drawn into fantasies.
Friday 13 May 2011
Books
I seldom write about books - and just now a random trip through the neighbourhood took me into some book places - 2 interesting - 4 or 5 just plain scarey. Fan sites for certain genres that I'm unfamiliar with. The fact is, I would probably enjoy these books if I read them - providing they were well-written ( a bit "if" I suspect) - but a bit alien, and of course, they were American blogs - so the descriptions of books, even if they were only graded 2/5 were upbeat and positive...
So, what am I reading (Mrs Superior - who is working her way through Harold Bloom's canon - oh, how original - actually I'm not, but just using it as a bit of an aide memoire about books I want to read)? At present I'm re-reading "Testament of Youth" by Vera Britain -about the First World War - it's for research.
Actually, I slightly wonder whether I have read it before, I think I just saw it on TV! What surprises me is that it is of course a story of first love - and her descriptions of her emotions are alarming similar to things in The Formative Year. Now I am going up to bed to nurse by sore finger. It's early - but it's Friday - coffee and chocolate!
So, what am I reading (Mrs Superior - who is working her way through Harold Bloom's canon - oh, how original - actually I'm not, but just using it as a bit of an aide memoire about books I want to read)? At present I'm re-reading "Testament of Youth" by Vera Britain -about the First World War - it's for research.
Actually, I slightly wonder whether I have read it before, I think I just saw it on TV! What surprises me is that it is of course a story of first love - and her descriptions of her emotions are alarming similar to things in The Formative Year. Now I am going up to bed to nurse by sore finger. It's early - but it's Friday - coffee and chocolate!
Diet Bore 2 + Debt Management
Four days on the Dukan diet, except that really I was doing Atkins - and I've lost 5lbs... pas mal, of course I cheated like mad, but no one can seriously live in a house with other people and just eat chunks of meat. So I ate some veg too - and fats, but I eschewed low fat yoghurts, which are probably full of sugar. I think what I like is the idea I can get to his goal weight for me by 1st March 2012 if I carry on properly. Then I have to "consolidate" for 5 days for every pound lost - which will be a tremendous amount - over a year! Oh well, by this time in 2 years time I will be fab and able to eat sensibly - trained to it! That said the only person I know who's done the Dukan Diet was Anna G and she's given up!
I am typing badly because I have drink taken (3 small glasses of a really excellent Herault - part of our Christmas present) and I have a bad finger (there was a band called that once wasn't there?)
Today has been very difficult and deeply unsatisfying.... I had a last ditch stand in attempting not to go into a Debt Management Scheme - and realised that because our earnings last year were so dire, that we could do nothing. No one would lend us any money to pay our debts, so we are going to have a very uncomfortable few weeks until the next couple of payments, but I expect we will raid Ned's savings... terrible, but necessary. Meanwhile I feel much happier about it, I know that we will have adequate money to live a modest life (no holidays, no luxuries, a small amount of booze) - and that the debts will probably be paid off by the time we come to retire - although I am not sure how we are going to manage to get any household repairs done! And Mark and I will need a bit of a break at some point. I guess we could go to Wales to stay in Flora's house - or something? Or I could email our friends with a house swap/house sit offer? We'll see.
I see that the DMS is the answer - we will not be living under the lash. The junior bank manager at the business branch I spoke to today was so much less sympathetic than the one I spoke to in the flesh yesterday. Apparently our credit rating with the bank is 9 - the lowest... am I surprised? Apparently we have some terrible black mark against us as well - due to mortgage arrears, but Nationwide were really sweet about it and said they weren't that worried. On the other hand, last year's finance wasn't good enough to allow us to borrow anything more.... just as well probably. This is a sort of seminal moment, but I have this curious feeling that once we're in our debt agreement we will probably be flooded with money from every direction. God doesn't fancy paying the usurers either!
And the good news - 2 bookings for the B&B operation, neither of which have come via Bed & Fed - I must write to her next week and talk to her.
Things are looking up - i.e I am lying in the gutter looking at the stars.
I am typing badly because I have drink taken (3 small glasses of a really excellent Herault - part of our Christmas present) and I have a bad finger (there was a band called that once wasn't there?)
Today has been very difficult and deeply unsatisfying.... I had a last ditch stand in attempting not to go into a Debt Management Scheme - and realised that because our earnings last year were so dire, that we could do nothing. No one would lend us any money to pay our debts, so we are going to have a very uncomfortable few weeks until the next couple of payments, but I expect we will raid Ned's savings... terrible, but necessary. Meanwhile I feel much happier about it, I know that we will have adequate money to live a modest life (no holidays, no luxuries, a small amount of booze) - and that the debts will probably be paid off by the time we come to retire - although I am not sure how we are going to manage to get any household repairs done! And Mark and I will need a bit of a break at some point. I guess we could go to Wales to stay in Flora's house - or something? Or I could email our friends with a house swap/house sit offer? We'll see.
I see that the DMS is the answer - we will not be living under the lash. The junior bank manager at the business branch I spoke to today was so much less sympathetic than the one I spoke to in the flesh yesterday. Apparently our credit rating with the bank is 9 - the lowest... am I surprised? Apparently we have some terrible black mark against us as well - due to mortgage arrears, but Nationwide were really sweet about it and said they weren't that worried. On the other hand, last year's finance wasn't good enough to allow us to borrow anything more.... just as well probably. This is a sort of seminal moment, but I have this curious feeling that once we're in our debt agreement we will probably be flooded with money from every direction. God doesn't fancy paying the usurers either!
And the good news - 2 bookings for the B&B operation, neither of which have come via Bed & Fed - I must write to her next week and talk to her.
Things are looking up - i.e I am lying in the gutter looking at the stars.
Monday 9 May 2011
Interesting stories
I have been influenced by a man called something Curtis - who says that everyone is so self-obsessed, and individualistic and all their Facebook/Twitter and blog entries are just self-self-self. (I paraphrase of course, but I immediately recognised his argument and hold up my hands). So, in an effort to make this blog less solipsistic, I am going to write down all the stories I hear from other people, before I write the personal stuff. The benefit of this is that I will then have a magnificent archive of human stuff to draw on beyond my own naturally fascinating personal experience.
Today I met Paul C., he is advising me on "home-sharing" - he gave me some good advice. Then we started talking. He has just trained as a carer - and is going to be employed by an agency. Last week he shadowed another carer and went to see his clients with him. He told me that men usually have male clients and women have female clients; there are some male clients who are so despicable and obstreperous that the women refuse to work with them. I imagine Cyril would have been one of these.
One of the people he visted last week was a whole episode of grimness. He lives on his own, he is a hoarder and has some sort of OCD trouble - his mother died 20 years ago and 10 years ago he took to his bed. He never goes out, hasn't been out for 20 years. For a long time he slept on a downstairs bed, but the bed became covered with stuff. So he retreated to an armchair, where he lives and sleeps under a duvet. He does not own any trousers or underpants, sits in a t-shirt. He collects series of magazines with DVDs - e.g. episodes of Dr Who. Someone buys them for him, they are all upstairs on a bed, still in their Smiths bags; he does not read them or watch the DVDs. He has not washed for 10 years, and Paul said the stench was terrible:the carers are not there to provide personal care. His feet became deformed when his toenails grew so long that he damaged his feet. The carers dust and hoover and tidy up and buy him ready meals. About 10 years ago he was temporarily removed from his house to allow it to be cleaned and sorted out: 3 skips were involved. They found his father's body under a sofa; it had been there for some years. The police decided he had probably been killed by his son, there was a psychiatric evaluation, it was felt that he was a schizophrenic, but that he would be a useless witness and that there was no point in charging him. Presumably as he never goes out it was thought that he was unlikely to be killing anyone else. Paul and I both felt that there might be a case for long-term mental hospitals for people like this. His quality of life couldn't be any worse. But apparently it is better for a murderer, who does not apparently take his medication, to live in this squalor. Paul said he did not wish to care for him. But some body has to surely? This has all occurred in respectable Birchington.
I also learned a version of the life-story of a local man I know slightly. He was once the director of a plc and lived a life of luxury in Reigate, with a holiday home down here. He was made redundant - got a huge payoff and started his own business. His business partner siphoned off all the money and went off to the Bahamas (or somewhere) and he was left with a staggering tax bill that was not satisfied by the sale of the house in Reigate. He managed to buy a franchise business and stabilise things.
Then we talked about our mutual friend: we have both got concerns about his behaviour. Paul thinks there maybe mental problems, as there was some talk of sectioning him last year !!! Oh, la-la!
What I find lovely is how much people will tell you about anyone they have a grievance against: I heard a great deal about another MF - small grievance, but got a lot of interest insight. I must say I do like picking over the bones of these issues. I need to work harder on characters. What I particularly liked about the Gerald Woodward novel I read was the minutiae of the people's characters - and all these little grievances and eccentricities and turns on the wheel of fortune add greatly to the my own experience of the human condition, and might if intelligently incorporated, improve my writing.
Later I had another meeting with Jon F and a guy called Keith who I hadn't met before. We had a businesslike conversation that degenerated into what Jon called "gossip". We covered archaeology, policing, the radical history of Ramsgate, and gangmasters.... it was tremendously enjoyable and I came home feeling rather energised.
The best stories Jon mentioned to me were the C19th "Ramsgate Fish Riots" - and the interview Marx gave to the New York Times on Ramsgate beach. In which he summed up the meaning of life as "Struggle". Hurray! I think both of these events should be turned into plays - or events for the festival - re-construct the Ramsgate Fish Riots. I could ask Robert Poulter about it.
DIET BORE
Let us descend from these elevated topics to the diet. I have put weight on again, and since Thursday morning (it is now Monday) I have a knee that seems to have lost its full function. I am miserable about this. So yesterday I decided I must have a once in a lifetime, now or never diet. I got the details of the Dukan Diet and filled in something on the website. I can't afford to do it, but I think I can do it with some help from the NHS weight loss helpline.... The Dukan diet said I should go down to the not particularly thin, but realistic, weight of 13st 4lbs. They suggested I did the extreme bit for 4 days and then went onto the basic bit. Doing this, it was claimed I would reach my target weight by March 1st 2012. I would then have to stabilise for about a year.... which I expect I could cope with. At the moment none of my clohes fit properly, so I am pretty desperate, and these recent back, knee and foot problems plus the nightly ripping of varicose veins are making me feel grim. So I will do it.
Dukan is basically Atkins with more veg and no fat. I think I will find it completely boring, but I think I will have to tell myself to do it properly, because when I tell myself I can have a "normal" meal things go wrong. But I could probably repent for the "normal" meal by doing 3 days of full-on protein-only horror. I also think while I will not indulge in fat, I will eat a bit. E.g. today the best thing for me to eat for lunch at the BB was the fish platter - it comes with salad (illegal today - but I ate it anyway) and a tiny bit of mayo - and the scallop and the white fish were fried, but I am not going to be guilty about that. Also, if I know I am going to do it until 1st March next year, then I will. (And then in April....?)
M and I had a row last night. It was the "I am not being nurtured" row - so now he is nurturing me again, for a bit. It was a very angry making row - because he told me I was "hopeless" and this made me furious. Is it true? No, but I guess I could be if I didn't try and pull myself together periodically. However, that was almost the most upsetting and cruel thing he could have said. It reminded me of the Toad and Stephen Roberts telling me I hadn't succeeded much with writing and SR telling me I'd failed at everything I'd tried .... er, no. God, when I think of it, which I seldom do, I am outraged that he could say such a thing to me. But then he has the supreme advantage of being a gay man in the clergy who has an ambition to be part of the establishment which he is sticking to rigorously "from obedience to command" - he is now an archdeacon - will he become a dean or a bishop next? Personally I hope he becomes neither - I would hate to think of someone with such a very vestigial belief in God becoming a bishop, but he might get to be a dean: there are opportunities for flamboyance combined with power that might suit him. Oooh - haven't had such a good bitch for years. I had forgiven him, I'd even forgotten him, but every now and again I remember him in context and the role he played in such a terribly miserable bit of my life.
That's enough. I am going to cook a variant of coq au vin for supper: the chicken is roasted, and you use white wine - so a bit weird. I will have some mushrooms I think, they are pretty innocent. If you are allowed to eat low fat yoghurt I think mushrooms will be ok....(what did I say about strict diet?).
Today I met Paul C., he is advising me on "home-sharing" - he gave me some good advice. Then we started talking. He has just trained as a carer - and is going to be employed by an agency. Last week he shadowed another carer and went to see his clients with him. He told me that men usually have male clients and women have female clients; there are some male clients who are so despicable and obstreperous that the women refuse to work with them. I imagine Cyril would have been one of these.
One of the people he visted last week was a whole episode of grimness. He lives on his own, he is a hoarder and has some sort of OCD trouble - his mother died 20 years ago and 10 years ago he took to his bed. He never goes out, hasn't been out for 20 years. For a long time he slept on a downstairs bed, but the bed became covered with stuff. So he retreated to an armchair, where he lives and sleeps under a duvet. He does not own any trousers or underpants, sits in a t-shirt. He collects series of magazines with DVDs - e.g. episodes of Dr Who. Someone buys them for him, they are all upstairs on a bed, still in their Smiths bags; he does not read them or watch the DVDs. He has not washed for 10 years, and Paul said the stench was terrible:the carers are not there to provide personal care. His feet became deformed when his toenails grew so long that he damaged his feet. The carers dust and hoover and tidy up and buy him ready meals. About 10 years ago he was temporarily removed from his house to allow it to be cleaned and sorted out: 3 skips were involved. They found his father's body under a sofa; it had been there for some years. The police decided he had probably been killed by his son, there was a psychiatric evaluation, it was felt that he was a schizophrenic, but that he would be a useless witness and that there was no point in charging him. Presumably as he never goes out it was thought that he was unlikely to be killing anyone else. Paul and I both felt that there might be a case for long-term mental hospitals for people like this. His quality of life couldn't be any worse. But apparently it is better for a murderer, who does not apparently take his medication, to live in this squalor. Paul said he did not wish to care for him. But some body has to surely? This has all occurred in respectable Birchington.
I also learned a version of the life-story of a local man I know slightly. He was once the director of a plc and lived a life of luxury in Reigate, with a holiday home down here. He was made redundant - got a huge payoff and started his own business. His business partner siphoned off all the money and went off to the Bahamas (or somewhere) and he was left with a staggering tax bill that was not satisfied by the sale of the house in Reigate. He managed to buy a franchise business and stabilise things.
Then we talked about our mutual friend: we have both got concerns about his behaviour. Paul thinks there maybe mental problems, as there was some talk of sectioning him last year !!! Oh, la-la!
What I find lovely is how much people will tell you about anyone they have a grievance against: I heard a great deal about another MF - small grievance, but got a lot of interest insight. I must say I do like picking over the bones of these issues. I need to work harder on characters. What I particularly liked about the Gerald Woodward novel I read was the minutiae of the people's characters - and all these little grievances and eccentricities and turns on the wheel of fortune add greatly to the my own experience of the human condition, and might if intelligently incorporated, improve my writing.
Later I had another meeting with Jon F and a guy called Keith who I hadn't met before. We had a businesslike conversation that degenerated into what Jon called "gossip". We covered archaeology, policing, the radical history of Ramsgate, and gangmasters.... it was tremendously enjoyable and I came home feeling rather energised.
The best stories Jon mentioned to me were the C19th "Ramsgate Fish Riots" - and the interview Marx gave to the New York Times on Ramsgate beach. In which he summed up the meaning of life as "Struggle". Hurray! I think both of these events should be turned into plays - or events for the festival - re-construct the Ramsgate Fish Riots. I could ask Robert Poulter about it.
DIET BORE
Let us descend from these elevated topics to the diet. I have put weight on again, and since Thursday morning (it is now Monday) I have a knee that seems to have lost its full function. I am miserable about this. So yesterday I decided I must have a once in a lifetime, now or never diet. I got the details of the Dukan Diet and filled in something on the website. I can't afford to do it, but I think I can do it with some help from the NHS weight loss helpline.... The Dukan diet said I should go down to the not particularly thin, but realistic, weight of 13st 4lbs. They suggested I did the extreme bit for 4 days and then went onto the basic bit. Doing this, it was claimed I would reach my target weight by March 1st 2012. I would then have to stabilise for about a year.... which I expect I could cope with. At the moment none of my clohes fit properly, so I am pretty desperate, and these recent back, knee and foot problems plus the nightly ripping of varicose veins are making me feel grim. So I will do it.
Dukan is basically Atkins with more veg and no fat. I think I will find it completely boring, but I think I will have to tell myself to do it properly, because when I tell myself I can have a "normal" meal things go wrong. But I could probably repent for the "normal" meal by doing 3 days of full-on protein-only horror. I also think while I will not indulge in fat, I will eat a bit. E.g. today the best thing for me to eat for lunch at the BB was the fish platter - it comes with salad (illegal today - but I ate it anyway) and a tiny bit of mayo - and the scallop and the white fish were fried, but I am not going to be guilty about that. Also, if I know I am going to do it until 1st March next year, then I will. (And then in April....?)
M and I had a row last night. It was the "I am not being nurtured" row - so now he is nurturing me again, for a bit. It was a very angry making row - because he told me I was "hopeless" and this made me furious. Is it true? No, but I guess I could be if I didn't try and pull myself together periodically. However, that was almost the most upsetting and cruel thing he could have said. It reminded me of the Toad and Stephen Roberts telling me I hadn't succeeded much with writing and SR telling me I'd failed at everything I'd tried .... er, no. God, when I think of it, which I seldom do, I am outraged that he could say such a thing to me. But then he has the supreme advantage of being a gay man in the clergy who has an ambition to be part of the establishment which he is sticking to rigorously "from obedience to command" - he is now an archdeacon - will he become a dean or a bishop next? Personally I hope he becomes neither - I would hate to think of someone with such a very vestigial belief in God becoming a bishop, but he might get to be a dean: there are opportunities for flamboyance combined with power that might suit him. Oooh - haven't had such a good bitch for years. I had forgiven him, I'd even forgotten him, but every now and again I remember him in context and the role he played in such a terribly miserable bit of my life.
That's enough. I am going to cook a variant of coq au vin for supper: the chicken is roasted, and you use white wine - so a bit weird. I will have some mushrooms I think, they are pretty innocent. If you are allowed to eat low fat yoghurt I think mushrooms will be ok....(what did I say about strict diet?).
Thursday 5 May 2011
Osama again - some Anglican perspectives
Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury, said that killing an unarmed man left him uncomfortable. He is now being reviled by those who think that THERE IS NO ALTERNATIVE - and being reviled by other people who think the word "uncomfortable" is a bit wet. There was the rather ghastly Giles Fraser on the radio this afternoon, basically agreeing but then when asked by the interviewer if ObL was going to hell - he dithered, saying "well, Hell is talked about in the Bible..... yes, of course he's going to Hell!" I really disliked that prevarication, he is a liberal theologian, who probably doesn't believe in Hell... but he wants to make a good populist point by proclaiming that he too agrees with the unthinking judgement. Is there really no one, not even a liberal theologian, who will not say that it is not for us to say where he is going, and that God's judgement is sovereign and not to be second-guessed by the massed ranks of obedient believers.
The extent of God's mercy is quite unknown. I agree on paper ObL wouldn't have much chance - if Paolo and Francesca get put in the Inferno obviously ObL is much worse, but then again, Dante didn't have much right to put people in Hell either. Of course in those days theology was simpler. There was hell - and if you did certain things you would end up there (unless you'd had the foresight to make a really good confession and get absolution first). But since the 13thC there have been some theological advances.... which is why I think the Bibliolators are so amusing.... they seem to believe that everything they believe comes straight out of the Bible - when it's actually just as much an interpretation as all the Catholic theology that went before the Reformation - many of the doctrines invented by the Catholic Church were simply a way of trying to understanding God, and His grace and trying to make things consistent. The Reformation went back to the Bible and conveniently ignores all the inconsistencies....
Oh, that's enough ranting. I found a blog called Anglican samizdat - I'm not quite sure what's so samizdat about it... it's hardly a secret when it appears on the first page of a Google search.
What do I think? I think the killing was politically appropriate, but morally wrong. If our theology is correct God also loves ObL although they may not have spent much time together in the last few years.
Blimey, the blog is getting v. theological. Let's stuff some politics in.
There were local elections today. I voted Labour for Thanet District Council, and 2 Labour and 1 indep (Ralph) for Ramsgate Town Council - and I voted Yes to the Alternative Vote, after thinking for a while that I really didn't care. Frankly anything that keeps the Tories down is good for me. I don't suppose we'll win AV - but it would be nice to vote Green occasionally without feeling guilty for letting Labour down.
The extent of God's mercy is quite unknown. I agree on paper ObL wouldn't have much chance - if Paolo and Francesca get put in the Inferno obviously ObL is much worse, but then again, Dante didn't have much right to put people in Hell either. Of course in those days theology was simpler. There was hell - and if you did certain things you would end up there (unless you'd had the foresight to make a really good confession and get absolution first). But since the 13thC there have been some theological advances.... which is why I think the Bibliolators are so amusing.... they seem to believe that everything they believe comes straight out of the Bible - when it's actually just as much an interpretation as all the Catholic theology that went before the Reformation - many of the doctrines invented by the Catholic Church were simply a way of trying to understanding God, and His grace and trying to make things consistent. The Reformation went back to the Bible and conveniently ignores all the inconsistencies....
Oh, that's enough ranting. I found a blog called Anglican samizdat - I'm not quite sure what's so samizdat about it... it's hardly a secret when it appears on the first page of a Google search.
What do I think? I think the killing was politically appropriate, but morally wrong. If our theology is correct God also loves ObL although they may not have spent much time together in the last few years.
Blimey, the blog is getting v. theological. Let's stuff some politics in.
There were local elections today. I voted Labour for Thanet District Council, and 2 Labour and 1 indep (Ralph) for Ramsgate Town Council - and I voted Yes to the Alternative Vote, after thinking for a while that I really didn't care. Frankly anything that keeps the Tories down is good for me. I don't suppose we'll win AV - but it would be nice to vote Green occasionally without feeling guilty for letting Labour down.
Osama Bin Laden
Although I ought to be writing Conscience - I just can't get into it. So I think I'll write about this instead. I am a complete heretic about Osama. Of course I think al-Quaida and fundamentalist Islam is appalling, and I find them scarey, irrational and an offence against humanity. However Osama, I don't know, there's something about the man, he just gives me an impression of integrity. When I flip over the channels on Sky there are any number of screaming mullahs (what a subject for Francis Bacon) who do not appear to be teaching about peace and love and submission.... but Osama has always appeared a more reasonable, sensitive person, in appearance I say, because obviously what he says is pretty nutsy. So why do I find something almost likeable about his appearance and deportment? Is this my contrarianism - or is it that there is no inherent compatibility between integrity and "proper behaviour"?
Of course, he does have integrity - he has his beliefs and he adheres to them. But we always see integrity as a positive virtue - letting your yea be yea and your nay be nay... but it is perfectly possible to have integrity about tremendously wicked beliefs. A thought that hadn't occurred to me before. He has his beliefs and he is acting on them in the way he feels is right. It is this that gives him that appearance of dignity, a sort of satisfaction about a job well done. Mark says he thinks Osama always looked tremendously smug - and that's probably a different side of the same object, he was satisfied with himself, that he was doing the "right thing". Maybe what was attractive was the sense that he was at peace with himself, he had a thought-out considered position, and he was living it.
Now inevitably, the question will arise amongst those who try to judge these things, about Osama's ultimate destination. Obama (no wonder Americans are confused) or some other US commentator made some comment about him having to face the ultimate judge.... obviously in conventional judgement ObL has gone straight to hell. But if God judges our hearts, God will know why he came to the conclusions he came to, and God may have a different idea. Maybe God will honour his sincerity and 'integrity'... In my theology I hold to the idea that people come to the Father through the Son not necessarily by becoming Christians, but through Jesus's intercession for them, his sense that they have lived lives according to his example, even if they have not known him. This would somewhat nix ObL's chances of eternal bliss on the Christian estate.... of course as a Muslim he would have known a version of Jesus through the Koran, but I wonder whether he paid much attention.
Curiously, this has brought me back to Conscience related issues: integrity is an issue - did ObL do the wrong things for the right reasons too? They were much more dramatically wrong than what David does.
Of course there may be a simpler reason for my suspect liking for Osama - I did find him quite attractive, and this obviously prejudices one in his favour. OMG I have now outed myself quite definitively.
Of course, he does have integrity - he has his beliefs and he adheres to them. But we always see integrity as a positive virtue - letting your yea be yea and your nay be nay... but it is perfectly possible to have integrity about tremendously wicked beliefs. A thought that hadn't occurred to me before. He has his beliefs and he is acting on them in the way he feels is right. It is this that gives him that appearance of dignity, a sort of satisfaction about a job well done. Mark says he thinks Osama always looked tremendously smug - and that's probably a different side of the same object, he was satisfied with himself, that he was doing the "right thing". Maybe what was attractive was the sense that he was at peace with himself, he had a thought-out considered position, and he was living it.
Now inevitably, the question will arise amongst those who try to judge these things, about Osama's ultimate destination. Obama (no wonder Americans are confused) or some other US commentator made some comment about him having to face the ultimate judge.... obviously in conventional judgement ObL has gone straight to hell. But if God judges our hearts, God will know why he came to the conclusions he came to, and God may have a different idea. Maybe God will honour his sincerity and 'integrity'... In my theology I hold to the idea that people come to the Father through the Son not necessarily by becoming Christians, but through Jesus's intercession for them, his sense that they have lived lives according to his example, even if they have not known him. This would somewhat nix ObL's chances of eternal bliss on the Christian estate.... of course as a Muslim he would have known a version of Jesus through the Koran, but I wonder whether he paid much attention.
Curiously, this has brought me back to Conscience related issues: integrity is an issue - did ObL do the wrong things for the right reasons too? They were much more dramatically wrong than what David does.
Of course there may be a simpler reason for my suspect liking for Osama - I did find him quite attractive, and this obviously prejudices one in his favour. OMG I have now outed myself quite definitively.
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