I have been influenced by a man called something Curtis - who says that everyone is so self-obsessed, and individualistic and all their Facebook/Twitter and blog entries are just self-self-self. (I paraphrase of course, but I immediately recognised his argument and hold up my hands). So, in an effort to make this blog less solipsistic, I am going to write down all the stories I hear from other people, before I write the personal stuff. The benefit of this is that I will then have a magnificent archive of human stuff to draw on beyond my own naturally fascinating personal experience.
Today I met Paul C., he is advising me on "home-sharing" - he gave me some good advice. Then we started talking. He has just trained as a carer - and is going to be employed by an agency. Last week he shadowed another carer and went to see his clients with him. He told me that men usually have male clients and women have female clients; there are some male clients who are so despicable and obstreperous that the women refuse to work with them. I imagine Cyril would have been one of these.
One of the people he visted last week was a whole episode of grimness. He lives on his own, he is a hoarder and has some sort of OCD trouble - his mother died 20 years ago and 10 years ago he took to his bed. He never goes out, hasn't been out for 20 years. For a long time he slept on a downstairs bed, but the bed became covered with stuff. So he retreated to an armchair, where he lives and sleeps under a duvet. He does not own any trousers or underpants, sits in a t-shirt. He collects series of magazines with DVDs - e.g. episodes of Dr Who. Someone buys them for him, they are all upstairs on a bed, still in their Smiths bags; he does not read them or watch the DVDs. He has not washed for 10 years, and Paul said the stench was terrible:the carers are not there to provide personal care. His feet became deformed when his toenails grew so long that he damaged his feet. The carers dust and hoover and tidy up and buy him ready meals. About 10 years ago he was temporarily removed from his house to allow it to be cleaned and sorted out: 3 skips were involved. They found his father's body under a sofa; it had been there for some years. The police decided he had probably been killed by his son, there was a psychiatric evaluation, it was felt that he was a schizophrenic, but that he would be a useless witness and that there was no point in charging him. Presumably as he never goes out it was thought that he was unlikely to be killing anyone else. Paul and I both felt that there might be a case for long-term mental hospitals for people like this. His quality of life couldn't be any worse. But apparently it is better for a murderer, who does not apparently take his medication, to live in this squalor. Paul said he did not wish to care for him. But some body has to surely? This has all occurred in respectable Birchington.
I also learned a version of the life-story of a local man I know slightly. He was once the director of a plc and lived a life of luxury in Reigate, with a holiday home down here. He was made redundant - got a huge payoff and started his own business. His business partner siphoned off all the money and went off to the Bahamas (or somewhere) and he was left with a staggering tax bill that was not satisfied by the sale of the house in Reigate. He managed to buy a franchise business and stabilise things.
Then we talked about our mutual friend: we have both got concerns about his behaviour. Paul thinks there maybe mental problems, as there was some talk of sectioning him last year !!! Oh, la-la!
What I find lovely is how much people will tell you about anyone they have a grievance against: I heard a great deal about another MF - small grievance, but got a lot of interest insight. I must say I do like picking over the bones of these issues. I need to work harder on characters. What I particularly liked about the Gerald Woodward novel I read was the minutiae of the people's characters - and all these little grievances and eccentricities and turns on the wheel of fortune add greatly to the my own experience of the human condition, and might if intelligently incorporated, improve my writing.
Later I had another meeting with Jon F and a guy called Keith who I hadn't met before. We had a businesslike conversation that degenerated into what Jon called "gossip". We covered archaeology, policing, the radical history of Ramsgate, and gangmasters.... it was tremendously enjoyable and I came home feeling rather energised.
The best stories Jon mentioned to me were the C19th "Ramsgate Fish Riots" - and the interview Marx gave to the New York Times on Ramsgate beach. In which he summed up the meaning of life as "Struggle". Hurray! I think both of these events should be turned into plays - or events for the festival - re-construct the Ramsgate Fish Riots. I could ask Robert Poulter about it.
DIET BORE
Let us descend from these elevated topics to the diet. I have put weight on again, and since Thursday morning (it is now Monday) I have a knee that seems to have lost its full function. I am miserable about this. So yesterday I decided I must have a once in a lifetime, now or never diet. I got the details of the Dukan Diet and filled in something on the website. I can't afford to do it, but I think I can do it with some help from the NHS weight loss helpline.... The Dukan diet said I should go down to the not particularly thin, but realistic, weight of 13st 4lbs. They suggested I did the extreme bit for 4 days and then went onto the basic bit. Doing this, it was claimed I would reach my target weight by March 1st 2012. I would then have to stabilise for about a year.... which I expect I could cope with. At the moment none of my clohes fit properly, so I am pretty desperate, and these recent back, knee and foot problems plus the nightly ripping of varicose veins are making me feel grim. So I will do it.
Dukan is basically Atkins with more veg and no fat. I think I will find it completely boring, but I think I will have to tell myself to do it properly, because when I tell myself I can have a "normal" meal things go wrong. But I could probably repent for the "normal" meal by doing 3 days of full-on protein-only horror. I also think while I will not indulge in fat, I will eat a bit. E.g. today the best thing for me to eat for lunch at the BB was the fish platter - it comes with salad (illegal today - but I ate it anyway) and a tiny bit of mayo - and the scallop and the white fish were fried, but I am not going to be guilty about that. Also, if I know I am going to do it until 1st March next year, then I will. (And then in April....?)
M and I had a row last night. It was the "I am not being nurtured" row - so now he is nurturing me again, for a bit. It was a very angry making row - because he told me I was "hopeless" and this made me furious. Is it true? No, but I guess I could be if I didn't try and pull myself together periodically. However, that was almost the most upsetting and cruel thing he could have said. It reminded me of the Toad and Stephen Roberts telling me I hadn't succeeded much with writing and SR telling me I'd failed at everything I'd tried .... er, no. God, when I think of it, which I seldom do, I am outraged that he could say such a thing to me. But then he has the supreme advantage of being a gay man in the clergy who has an ambition to be part of the establishment which he is sticking to rigorously "from obedience to command" - he is now an archdeacon - will he become a dean or a bishop next? Personally I hope he becomes neither - I would hate to think of someone with such a very vestigial belief in God becoming a bishop, but he might get to be a dean: there are opportunities for flamboyance combined with power that might suit him. Oooh - haven't had such a good bitch for years. I had forgiven him, I'd even forgotten him, but every now and again I remember him in context and the role he played in such a terribly miserable bit of my life.
That's enough. I am going to cook a variant of coq au vin for supper: the chicken is roasted, and you use white wine - so a bit weird. I will have some mushrooms I think, they are pretty innocent. If you are allowed to eat low fat yoghurt I think mushrooms will be ok....(what did I say about strict diet?).
Today I met Paul C., he is advising me on "home-sharing" - he gave me some good advice. Then we started talking. He has just trained as a carer - and is going to be employed by an agency. Last week he shadowed another carer and went to see his clients with him. He told me that men usually have male clients and women have female clients; there are some male clients who are so despicable and obstreperous that the women refuse to work with them. I imagine Cyril would have been one of these.
One of the people he visted last week was a whole episode of grimness. He lives on his own, he is a hoarder and has some sort of OCD trouble - his mother died 20 years ago and 10 years ago he took to his bed. He never goes out, hasn't been out for 20 years. For a long time he slept on a downstairs bed, but the bed became covered with stuff. So he retreated to an armchair, where he lives and sleeps under a duvet. He does not own any trousers or underpants, sits in a t-shirt. He collects series of magazines with DVDs - e.g. episodes of Dr Who. Someone buys them for him, they are all upstairs on a bed, still in their Smiths bags; he does not read them or watch the DVDs. He has not washed for 10 years, and Paul said the stench was terrible:the carers are not there to provide personal care. His feet became deformed when his toenails grew so long that he damaged his feet. The carers dust and hoover and tidy up and buy him ready meals. About 10 years ago he was temporarily removed from his house to allow it to be cleaned and sorted out: 3 skips were involved. They found his father's body under a sofa; it had been there for some years. The police decided he had probably been killed by his son, there was a psychiatric evaluation, it was felt that he was a schizophrenic, but that he would be a useless witness and that there was no point in charging him. Presumably as he never goes out it was thought that he was unlikely to be killing anyone else. Paul and I both felt that there might be a case for long-term mental hospitals for people like this. His quality of life couldn't be any worse. But apparently it is better for a murderer, who does not apparently take his medication, to live in this squalor. Paul said he did not wish to care for him. But some body has to surely? This has all occurred in respectable Birchington.
I also learned a version of the life-story of a local man I know slightly. He was once the director of a plc and lived a life of luxury in Reigate, with a holiday home down here. He was made redundant - got a huge payoff and started his own business. His business partner siphoned off all the money and went off to the Bahamas (or somewhere) and he was left with a staggering tax bill that was not satisfied by the sale of the house in Reigate. He managed to buy a franchise business and stabilise things.
Then we talked about our mutual friend: we have both got concerns about his behaviour. Paul thinks there maybe mental problems, as there was some talk of sectioning him last year !!! Oh, la-la!
What I find lovely is how much people will tell you about anyone they have a grievance against: I heard a great deal about another MF - small grievance, but got a lot of interest insight. I must say I do like picking over the bones of these issues. I need to work harder on characters. What I particularly liked about the Gerald Woodward novel I read was the minutiae of the people's characters - and all these little grievances and eccentricities and turns on the wheel of fortune add greatly to the my own experience of the human condition, and might if intelligently incorporated, improve my writing.
Later I had another meeting with Jon F and a guy called Keith who I hadn't met before. We had a businesslike conversation that degenerated into what Jon called "gossip". We covered archaeology, policing, the radical history of Ramsgate, and gangmasters.... it was tremendously enjoyable and I came home feeling rather energised.
The best stories Jon mentioned to me were the C19th "Ramsgate Fish Riots" - and the interview Marx gave to the New York Times on Ramsgate beach. In which he summed up the meaning of life as "Struggle". Hurray! I think both of these events should be turned into plays - or events for the festival - re-construct the Ramsgate Fish Riots. I could ask Robert Poulter about it.
DIET BORE
Let us descend from these elevated topics to the diet. I have put weight on again, and since Thursday morning (it is now Monday) I have a knee that seems to have lost its full function. I am miserable about this. So yesterday I decided I must have a once in a lifetime, now or never diet. I got the details of the Dukan Diet and filled in something on the website. I can't afford to do it, but I think I can do it with some help from the NHS weight loss helpline.... The Dukan diet said I should go down to the not particularly thin, but realistic, weight of 13st 4lbs. They suggested I did the extreme bit for 4 days and then went onto the basic bit. Doing this, it was claimed I would reach my target weight by March 1st 2012. I would then have to stabilise for about a year.... which I expect I could cope with. At the moment none of my clohes fit properly, so I am pretty desperate, and these recent back, knee and foot problems plus the nightly ripping of varicose veins are making me feel grim. So I will do it.
Dukan is basically Atkins with more veg and no fat. I think I will find it completely boring, but I think I will have to tell myself to do it properly, because when I tell myself I can have a "normal" meal things go wrong. But I could probably repent for the "normal" meal by doing 3 days of full-on protein-only horror. I also think while I will not indulge in fat, I will eat a bit. E.g. today the best thing for me to eat for lunch at the BB was the fish platter - it comes with salad (illegal today - but I ate it anyway) and a tiny bit of mayo - and the scallop and the white fish were fried, but I am not going to be guilty about that. Also, if I know I am going to do it until 1st March next year, then I will. (And then in April....?)
M and I had a row last night. It was the "I am not being nurtured" row - so now he is nurturing me again, for a bit. It was a very angry making row - because he told me I was "hopeless" and this made me furious. Is it true? No, but I guess I could be if I didn't try and pull myself together periodically. However, that was almost the most upsetting and cruel thing he could have said. It reminded me of the Toad and Stephen Roberts telling me I hadn't succeeded much with writing and SR telling me I'd failed at everything I'd tried .... er, no. God, when I think of it, which I seldom do, I am outraged that he could say such a thing to me. But then he has the supreme advantage of being a gay man in the clergy who has an ambition to be part of the establishment which he is sticking to rigorously "from obedience to command" - he is now an archdeacon - will he become a dean or a bishop next? Personally I hope he becomes neither - I would hate to think of someone with such a very vestigial belief in God becoming a bishop, but he might get to be a dean: there are opportunities for flamboyance combined with power that might suit him. Oooh - haven't had such a good bitch for years. I had forgiven him, I'd even forgotten him, but every now and again I remember him in context and the role he played in such a terribly miserable bit of my life.
That's enough. I am going to cook a variant of coq au vin for supper: the chicken is roasted, and you use white wine - so a bit weird. I will have some mushrooms I think, they are pretty innocent. If you are allowed to eat low fat yoghurt I think mushrooms will be ok....(what did I say about strict diet?).
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