I meant to write brain-dead... which is how I feel. I thought I was tired before, but I am not even thinking stright.. what's the point of writing? Go to bed instead!
Reading while dead
Monday 27 August 2012
Saturday 25 August 2012
Summer Squall 2012
First day of the festival - feel tired, and probably in truth more energized by contact with chums than with art... it is like a large rolling party - with responsibilities.
Tomorrow is the great Opera...do hope Anna & Robin will make it - probably depends on R's sciatica or whatever it is. I introduced Sheree and Clare today - they bonded over leg pain!
Had the most frantic morning viz:
Up c. 7.30 made breakfast, fruit salad etc., breakfasted guests while doing some washing etc. Organised the food and drink for its different destinations... heaved it all around the car - fielded calls about Mark's tour of duty, spoke to Radio Kent about the festival... then tidied up, dealt with correspondence, stripped double bed and made it up again, got Ned up and had Naomi over to talk about the book she wants me to do stuff with... said goodbye to Jaime - the last of the summer students... then sorted out float etc. for church, got stuff together for organ recital, went to Holy T, set up "bar" sold nothing except fruit juice - virtually, 2 glasses of wine sold, most was consumed by staff, volunteers, the organist and the vicar...then down to the Harbour - sat and chatted and was "available" for a while - the Ineke came along and hauled me off to collect wine and stuff - and take it to King's... down the mean streets of Ramsgate Eastcliff drives a car which is not itself mean - so there were one or two close encounters, and fun reversing into the King's area. Unloaded, and then chatted with various people... then back home c. 5.00pm ate a sarni - drank some water and went upstairs to relax, realised I still hadn't finished my Olympic talk so worked on that for an hour or so... have to cut down on picture research, it's very time consuming, always end up with the one I first thought of.
Then off to see Robert P's latest production - fab as always, but in v. stuffy theatre... made me yawn a lot. Outside into the air with Clare and watched the Duallers from above - quite a good crowd... great music, all covers. Specially enjoyed Shanty Town and Pressure Drop - which is now on my brain.. And, after a quick chat with the nice Aussie BnB guests .... so to bed.
Tomorrow is the great Opera...do hope Anna & Robin will make it - probably depends on R's sciatica or whatever it is. I introduced Sheree and Clare today - they bonded over leg pain!
Had the most frantic morning viz:
Up c. 7.30 made breakfast, fruit salad etc., breakfasted guests while doing some washing etc. Organised the food and drink for its different destinations... heaved it all around the car - fielded calls about Mark's tour of duty, spoke to Radio Kent about the festival... then tidied up, dealt with correspondence, stripped double bed and made it up again, got Ned up and had Naomi over to talk about the book she wants me to do stuff with... said goodbye to Jaime - the last of the summer students... then sorted out float etc. for church, got stuff together for organ recital, went to Holy T, set up "bar" sold nothing except fruit juice - virtually, 2 glasses of wine sold, most was consumed by staff, volunteers, the organist and the vicar...then down to the Harbour - sat and chatted and was "available" for a while - the Ineke came along and hauled me off to collect wine and stuff - and take it to King's... down the mean streets of Ramsgate Eastcliff drives a car which is not itself mean - so there were one or two close encounters, and fun reversing into the King's area. Unloaded, and then chatted with various people... then back home c. 5.00pm ate a sarni - drank some water and went upstairs to relax, realised I still hadn't finished my Olympic talk so worked on that for an hour or so... have to cut down on picture research, it's very time consuming, always end up with the one I first thought of.
Then off to see Robert P's latest production - fab as always, but in v. stuffy theatre... made me yawn a lot. Outside into the air with Clare and watched the Duallers from above - quite a good crowd... great music, all covers. Specially enjoyed Shanty Town and Pressure Drop - which is now on my brain.. And, after a quick chat with the nice Aussie BnB guests .... so to bed.
Thursday 23 August 2012
The National Minimum Wage
The minimum wage for adults is £6.08 per hour - not much, but better than nothing... I have just been offered £5 per hour. I politely declined, pointing out it was less than the minimum wage, and saying that the smallest amount I would take would be £10 an hour, since I was highly skilled and not just being asked to do bar work, but to take on administration and so on. I also pointed out that my pay for cooking and gardening is better than that.
I am awaiting further developments. I don't want a 5 day a week job and actually he was suggesting 7 - and I also pointed out I wouldn't be working full days. He says he's talking to someone else, in which case, if this guy will take £5 an hour he must be even more desperate than me. I can't understand how employers get away with paying less than the minimum wage - under 21 it's £4.98 - so Ned 's within the law, but seriously... I know this is a poor area, but this man - who has a cleaner and a gardener and a working wife is offering me £5 an hour. How bloody little self-respect does he think I have?
He says that he will consider the situation, maybe change his plans. I got the impression that he's keen to employ me, but it's a bit mad. I'd love to earn £600 a month, but if it doesn't happen it doesn't happen. I've just had the tax credit statement for this year, and it looks as if we'll be getting more than last year (hope this isn't a mistake) so at least I don't need to worry about making this up. If he comes back to me and wants me to do 3-4 mornings a week, with a certain amount of flexibility, that would be fine. We'll see.
I do feel quite angry though, not just for me, but the fact that he thinks he can offer that sort of money to anyone. Thanet isn't a 3rd World Country - I know it wasn't a full time job, but £75 for 5 mornings a week? It wouldn't be a full time job with a living wage. No wonder people stay on the dole.
I am awaiting further developments. I don't want a 5 day a week job and actually he was suggesting 7 - and I also pointed out I wouldn't be working full days. He says he's talking to someone else, in which case, if this guy will take £5 an hour he must be even more desperate than me. I can't understand how employers get away with paying less than the minimum wage - under 21 it's £4.98 - so Ned 's within the law, but seriously... I know this is a poor area, but this man - who has a cleaner and a gardener and a working wife is offering me £5 an hour. How bloody little self-respect does he think I have?
He says that he will consider the situation, maybe change his plans. I got the impression that he's keen to employ me, but it's a bit mad. I'd love to earn £600 a month, but if it doesn't happen it doesn't happen. I've just had the tax credit statement for this year, and it looks as if we'll be getting more than last year (hope this isn't a mistake) so at least I don't need to worry about making this up. If he comes back to me and wants me to do 3-4 mornings a week, with a certain amount of flexibility, that would be fine. We'll see.
I do feel quite angry though, not just for me, but the fact that he thinks he can offer that sort of money to anyone. Thanet isn't a 3rd World Country - I know it wasn't a full time job, but £75 for 5 mornings a week? It wouldn't be a full time job with a living wage. No wonder people stay on the dole.
Wednesday 22 August 2012
The wrong moment?
Had a realisation today that much of the irritation etc. I am feeling may be due to an underlying sense of aging... which is getting stronger. I attempted to discuss this with M - as he's the same age, he might be open to such a discussion... I don't often try to discuss things like this with him, I tend to stew over them in the diary or the blogs... but I didn't get any response except "I expect the Festival will cheer you up."
Saints alive, the age old problem of humans coming to terms with ageing and mortality cannot quite be "solved" by being cheered up by a Festival - however enjoyable! I suppose this is the middle-aged equivalent of "don't worry your pretty little head about that!"
I despair - well, I don't actually, I don't despair, hope does spring eternal in the... etc. but I feel it would be less isolating to live with people who actually were able to discuss emotional issues (I include myself - I don't any more with him, because a number of my emotional issues don't really concern him). I wonder how this happens, that one goes from discussing everything to discussing very little indeed? I never thought it would happen to me. I always thought it would be different. But sometimes rather than hear the same thing, I avoid conversation. So, on the rare occasion I want to start a new conversation.... I am boulversée... or something. Perhaps it was just the wrong moment, but I had already rebuffed him when he'd said "perhaps you should give up the Festival". He is rather like the boys, resentful of anything I do that's voluntary, that doesn't bring in money and is for "other people"... but I have to do something else or I would go mad. Yes, the SS is maddening, but it gets me out of the house! I spend time with some pretty nice people, and have fun, on the whole. One learns what people's strengths and weaknesses are...and adjusts one's expectations accordingly.
Actually, in some ways I am being rejuvenated by losing weight... I am much more energetic, and cutting down on booze has made me feel more in control of everything. So perhaps the irritation isn't to do with that.
The chief focus of irritation this evening was A's non-appearance for drinks. I had visualised a jollyish time with Clare, M and him - a couple of drinks, then home. But C was not at her best, and A was a no-show. I texted him - he texted that he was delayed, I texted (without seeing this) that we were going now. Then a text arrived saying he'd ordered a taxi... I just thought, "why does he feel that turning up on time - roughly - is beneath him. Why does he take us for granted?" and we left anyway, because we'd made other plans. I felt sorry, I know he's a person who needs friendship, but when he's offered it, he doesn't turn up. This is the third time this month, it's too much. I'm fed up (St. Laurence, Vale Square, Belgian Bar). I suppose it's very typical, people say they want one thing (in his case, nice middle class friends), but sabotage themselves when the offer is made. Actually it's the fourth time - he's going to London this weekend (for a good reason, if true) and won't be helping at the Squall...
Saints alive, the age old problem of humans coming to terms with ageing and mortality cannot quite be "solved" by being cheered up by a Festival - however enjoyable! I suppose this is the middle-aged equivalent of "don't worry your pretty little head about that!"
I despair - well, I don't actually, I don't despair, hope does spring eternal in the... etc. but I feel it would be less isolating to live with people who actually were able to discuss emotional issues (I include myself - I don't any more with him, because a number of my emotional issues don't really concern him). I wonder how this happens, that one goes from discussing everything to discussing very little indeed? I never thought it would happen to me. I always thought it would be different. But sometimes rather than hear the same thing, I avoid conversation. So, on the rare occasion I want to start a new conversation.... I am boulversée... or something. Perhaps it was just the wrong moment, but I had already rebuffed him when he'd said "perhaps you should give up the Festival". He is rather like the boys, resentful of anything I do that's voluntary, that doesn't bring in money and is for "other people"... but I have to do something else or I would go mad. Yes, the SS is maddening, but it gets me out of the house! I spend time with some pretty nice people, and have fun, on the whole. One learns what people's strengths and weaknesses are...and adjusts one's expectations accordingly.
Actually, in some ways I am being rejuvenated by losing weight... I am much more energetic, and cutting down on booze has made me feel more in control of everything. So perhaps the irritation isn't to do with that.
The chief focus of irritation this evening was A's non-appearance for drinks. I had visualised a jollyish time with Clare, M and him - a couple of drinks, then home. But C was not at her best, and A was a no-show. I texted him - he texted that he was delayed, I texted (without seeing this) that we were going now. Then a text arrived saying he'd ordered a taxi... I just thought, "why does he feel that turning up on time - roughly - is beneath him. Why does he take us for granted?" and we left anyway, because we'd made other plans. I felt sorry, I know he's a person who needs friendship, but when he's offered it, he doesn't turn up. This is the third time this month, it's too much. I'm fed up (St. Laurence, Vale Square, Belgian Bar). I suppose it's very typical, people say they want one thing (in his case, nice middle class friends), but sabotage themselves when the offer is made. Actually it's the fourth time - he's going to London this weekend (for a good reason, if true) and won't be helping at the Squall...
Decisions!
I have been offered a sort of job... well, not definitively, but I'm wondering whether it will work with the writing.
The guy who has opened the new real ale/cider bar (the Chapel) in the old Albion Bookshop has asked me to consider working for him in the mornings, opening up the shop and dealing with the books... I don't know how much he'll pay - but I'm going to insist on getting a cleaner. I know "we can't afford it" but I think it's the answer. We can continue with a student, and the occasional B&B stuff, but this job should ensure we can pay our debts off a bit faster, and means we should be able to pay next month's mortgage.
The only downside - in fact the first thing I thought of - is "How will I be able to write if this happens?" The answer is "early in the morning" I will have to set my laptop up in the spare room and get up early and write then... I will just have to be more disciplined. Somehow things will work out. I have been waiting for the "call" for something to happen as a result of this current apparently well-starred period, and it has come for me too!
Ned is starting work with Julian tonight (that's the owner of the Chapel). Maybe I can persuade JN to allow Ned to do the bookshop stuff on Saturdays?
I wonder if he will have wifi at the shop - enable me to use it to check prices on Amazon etc.
All this is making me feel a lot less stuck - I will have a little money, I can spend occasionally. It won't be an enormous amount, but perhaps I can begin to accrue a little at last, rather than permanently pour out money...I am puzzled but happy. I have to keep writing though. Will it be as easy on dark winter mornings?
The guy who has opened the new real ale/cider bar (the Chapel) in the old Albion Bookshop has asked me to consider working for him in the mornings, opening up the shop and dealing with the books... I don't know how much he'll pay - but I'm going to insist on getting a cleaner. I know "we can't afford it" but I think it's the answer. We can continue with a student, and the occasional B&B stuff, but this job should ensure we can pay our debts off a bit faster, and means we should be able to pay next month's mortgage.
The only downside - in fact the first thing I thought of - is "How will I be able to write if this happens?" The answer is "early in the morning" I will have to set my laptop up in the spare room and get up early and write then... I will just have to be more disciplined. Somehow things will work out. I have been waiting for the "call" for something to happen as a result of this current apparently well-starred period, and it has come for me too!
Ned is starting work with Julian tonight (that's the owner of the Chapel). Maybe I can persuade JN to allow Ned to do the bookshop stuff on Saturdays?
I wonder if he will have wifi at the shop - enable me to use it to check prices on Amazon etc.
All this is making me feel a lot less stuck - I will have a little money, I can spend occasionally. It won't be an enormous amount, but perhaps I can begin to accrue a little at last, rather than permanently pour out money...I am puzzled but happy. I have to keep writing though. Will it be as easy on dark winter mornings?
Sunday 19 August 2012
Fun
Yes - fun has made an appearance in my life - and there's been a bit of energy with it. On Friday we leafletted in the market for the festival - then Graham, Ned, Mark and I had a couple of drinks and some lunch at the Belgian... which was nice... it was a glorious sunny day, but we were sitting in a nice windy spot, so we didn't noticed, and I found I was rather red when we came home. M and I walked home across the harbour - the pretty way, even though the tidal bridge was up and we had to go over the dreaded wobbly iron bridge - actually it isn't in the least wobbly, it's just my vertigo speaking.
We came home and had supper - and pottered about. This morning I cooked cakes, and we said farewell to Alexander... then we cleaned and tidied a bit - Mark didn't get to go to the beach, and I didn't get to go to Open Studios. Naomi and Clive came over at 5 issh and we had tea and lots of chat, then a bit of wine and more chat. They kindly brought one of Clive's books as a present. It was very jolly - and they invited us back sometime next week.
Then M and I had pizza - then Jaime joined us and we had an interesting chat about Spain, the economy, London vs. Madrid etc. Interesting. Then we watched the stars for a bit, M saw two meteorites, but I missed them both.
Tomorrow we are going to have our first lie-in for weeks.... can't wait.
And as for the glory of the new moon - well, a new friendship is good... it may lead to other things - they have already asked if Ned and I might do their gardening for them. And Graham suggested Ned come and volunteer at the Hospice charity shop - so he's got a foot in the door! Apparently, this means retail work will be available to him.
The only downside of the last two days is that drinking and charging around the town and scrambling up the steep pavements of Ramsgate, has made me feel very stiff and achey. But it's a small price to pay for fun.
We came home and had supper - and pottered about. This morning I cooked cakes, and we said farewell to Alexander... then we cleaned and tidied a bit - Mark didn't get to go to the beach, and I didn't get to go to Open Studios. Naomi and Clive came over at 5 issh and we had tea and lots of chat, then a bit of wine and more chat. They kindly brought one of Clive's books as a present. It was very jolly - and they invited us back sometime next week.
Then M and I had pizza - then Jaime joined us and we had an interesting chat about Spain, the economy, London vs. Madrid etc. Interesting. Then we watched the stars for a bit, M saw two meteorites, but I missed them both.
Tomorrow we are going to have our first lie-in for weeks.... can't wait.
And as for the glory of the new moon - well, a new friendship is good... it may lead to other things - they have already asked if Ned and I might do their gardening for them. And Graham suggested Ned come and volunteer at the Hospice charity shop - so he's got a foot in the door! Apparently, this means retail work will be available to him.
The only downside of the last two days is that drinking and charging around the town and scrambling up the steep pavements of Ramsgate, has made me feel very stiff and achey. But it's a small price to pay for fun.
Thursday 16 August 2012
Stress - the irrational explanation: Saturn vs. Mars
Just out of interest... 15th August was a day when Mars was conjunct Saturn - astrologers warned about that day - but I always find the days before these things are more important... and what's been happening to us in the last few days is very close to the symbolism of Mars/Saturn - Mars has the energy - is urging to rush forward, Saturn has the leaden boots on and is holding it back... so while we are keen to know for sure about Ned's result - whether he will be admitted to UEA, we need to wait on the University, (Saturn). We got into the car (Mars) and drove off - but Saturn messed with the starter motor... We were having a lovely social time on Saturday - full of Mars... when Ned got mugged and Saturn dragged us away to do the parental duty... Mark's tv appearance, scheduled tomorrow has been postponed until Monday...I tried to get everything ready for the programme distribution tomorrow - and Saturn drags us back by stymieing the car...
I expect this is just a coincidence - but it would be good if things settled down a bit... tomorrow is the famous new Moon in 10th house... I think this ought to be a day of glory, especially since the Moon is within 1 degree of my natal Sun... and it's trine Mars and Saturn... which suggests that the push-pull thing will go on. and the Uranus sextile natal Venus is almost exact... but that doesn't mean much. Who knows what tomorrow will bring (sweet FA probably!). I have had it in mind that The Agent will call - but that's just my fantasy - if she does, it will be to ask for more changes (Saturn) - well, no matter, what we struggle through with Saturn provides a more stable foundation for the future...In the end, Mars speeds away from Saturn and leaves the restrictions behind.
Oh dear, that's more than enough astrology I think.
I expect this is just a coincidence - but it would be good if things settled down a bit... tomorrow is the famous new Moon in 10th house... I think this ought to be a day of glory, especially since the Moon is within 1 degree of my natal Sun... and it's trine Mars and Saturn... which suggests that the push-pull thing will go on. and the Uranus sextile natal Venus is almost exact... but that doesn't mean much. Who knows what tomorrow will bring (sweet FA probably!). I have had it in mind that The Agent will call - but that's just my fantasy - if she does, it will be to ask for more changes (Saturn) - well, no matter, what we struggle through with Saturn provides a more stable foundation for the future...In the end, Mars speeds away from Saturn and leaves the restrictions behind.
Oh dear, that's more than enough astrology I think.
Stress....
The last week or so has been full of the wrong kind of stress, it's not that anything especially bad has been happening, in fact, one or two good things have happened.... But it's the culmination of stress of things that haven't been done, the sitting at my desk at my laptop all day and doing very little productive work. Partly I haven't done all the PR work necessary for the bloody Summer Squall - I have done a good deal, but eventually I get bored - or distracted - or have some computer malfunction and stop. Today I have been doing a great tranche of listings... and hope that it will almost be enough - but there is more that I could do.
I am feeling almost sick with worry - the last few days I have been listening to some silly new age tapes sent me by a man who clearly wants to train everyone into his esoteric ways of belief - he offers you a horoscope - for free, and I thought "what the hell!" and outside view couldn't do any harm, but it is not a very useful one - simply reading the house meanings and the signs on each of the houses. It went on for ages - clearly pre-recorded and cut and paste... unless he's an idiot. He is Australian and the CDs have a background of soporific music which sent me to sleep - so I never found out about houses 9 to 12 - but no matter. Nothing about the planets - a couple of sentences about my past five years, as follows:
I have a scar on my lower face/neck NO
I have bladder or kidney trouble from time to time: NO
I have throat/neck trouble OCCASIONAL stiff neck/sore throat
Have had a lot of job upheavals in my life, leaving jobs suddenly etc. TRUE
A miscarriage TRUE
Secret worries about a relative / career matter - YES - but doesn't everybody?
A close family member has been hospitalised in the last 18 months - or will be in the next 12 months
There's been unheaval in a close relationship - possibly a split in the last 15 months - HMMM
Is it worth $20 to get the predictions for the next 5 years? I secretly hoped he'd be as good as the fantastic Indian astrologer in Delhi...according to whom I will be beginning a glorious 6 year cycle in a year or so's time....
Today - this is now Thursday - Ned got his A-level results - ABC - he needed ABB - so almost there, just waiting to see if UEA will agree...
Mark and I got the car out to go shopping (out from the garage where it has just had it's annual roadworthiness test - the MoT as it is known in the UK). We had a delightful fishy lunch on a terrace over looking the harbour - and felt really cheerful and talked to each other and were almost happy! Then I stormed up the stairs, got wobbly legs and stared at the beauties of the harbour, the boats, the sun, the horizon, the cliffs of France etc. and felt really relaxed and happy again. I had had a glass of wine. I couldn't imagine a meal like that without a glass, but it definitely makes me irritable. I had sworn not to drink this week. Well, 3.5 days off ain't bad.
Then the car refused to start. I came home with the shopping in a taxi (I really ought to be much more grateful that we didn't break down before I'd got the shopping), and felt grumpy, I felt grumpy about every little darn thing. I felt grumpy that my sister has been talking to my father about my novel and he now thinks it's all about my horrible childhood. He didn't seem too worried by it, but it's clearly come from her...and I felt grumpy that a woman whom I always say positive and supportive things to on Facebook has said nothing to me about Ned's grades or anything else... I thought I was solipsistic but really, she puts up pictures of her latest creations, her children's achievements etc.etc. and I comment or like them, but... on the other hand I am sharing quips with Joan Bakewell and Mary Kenny so what do I care!
And now my dear friend D has come and given me a present as a thank you for giving her a short reader's report on her book... so I have stopped feeling grumpy, and Ned has said he'd rather go for an Indian anyway, so we don't have to drive over to Broadstairs or Whitstable to go somewhere special.
So it has been a few days of highs and lows - lots of good things (getting to know Naomi and Clive better), the A-level results, Mark's imminent tv appearance, interest in my novel, an unexpected present, and then lots of little aggros.
I am feeling almost sick with worry - the last few days I have been listening to some silly new age tapes sent me by a man who clearly wants to train everyone into his esoteric ways of belief - he offers you a horoscope - for free, and I thought "what the hell!" and outside view couldn't do any harm, but it is not a very useful one - simply reading the house meanings and the signs on each of the houses. It went on for ages - clearly pre-recorded and cut and paste... unless he's an idiot. He is Australian and the CDs have a background of soporific music which sent me to sleep - so I never found out about houses 9 to 12 - but no matter. Nothing about the planets - a couple of sentences about my past five years, as follows:
I have a scar on my lower face/neck NO
I have bladder or kidney trouble from time to time: NO
I have throat/neck trouble OCCASIONAL stiff neck/sore throat
Have had a lot of job upheavals in my life, leaving jobs suddenly etc. TRUE
A miscarriage TRUE
Secret worries about a relative / career matter - YES - but doesn't everybody?
A close family member has been hospitalised in the last 18 months - or will be in the next 12 months
There's been unheaval in a close relationship - possibly a split in the last 15 months - HMMM
Is it worth $20 to get the predictions for the next 5 years? I secretly hoped he'd be as good as the fantastic Indian astrologer in Delhi...according to whom I will be beginning a glorious 6 year cycle in a year or so's time....
Today - this is now Thursday - Ned got his A-level results - ABC - he needed ABB - so almost there, just waiting to see if UEA will agree...
Mark and I got the car out to go shopping (out from the garage where it has just had it's annual roadworthiness test - the MoT as it is known in the UK). We had a delightful fishy lunch on a terrace over looking the harbour - and felt really cheerful and talked to each other and were almost happy! Then I stormed up the stairs, got wobbly legs and stared at the beauties of the harbour, the boats, the sun, the horizon, the cliffs of France etc. and felt really relaxed and happy again. I had had a glass of wine. I couldn't imagine a meal like that without a glass, but it definitely makes me irritable. I had sworn not to drink this week. Well, 3.5 days off ain't bad.
Then the car refused to start. I came home with the shopping in a taxi (I really ought to be much more grateful that we didn't break down before I'd got the shopping), and felt grumpy, I felt grumpy about every little darn thing. I felt grumpy that my sister has been talking to my father about my novel and he now thinks it's all about my horrible childhood. He didn't seem too worried by it, but it's clearly come from her...and I felt grumpy that a woman whom I always say positive and supportive things to on Facebook has said nothing to me about Ned's grades or anything else... I thought I was solipsistic but really, she puts up pictures of her latest creations, her children's achievements etc.etc. and I comment or like them, but... on the other hand I am sharing quips with Joan Bakewell and Mary Kenny so what do I care!
And now my dear friend D has come and given me a present as a thank you for giving her a short reader's report on her book... so I have stopped feeling grumpy, and Ned has said he'd rather go for an Indian anyway, so we don't have to drive over to Broadstairs or Whitstable to go somewhere special.
So it has been a few days of highs and lows - lots of good things (getting to know Naomi and Clive better), the A-level results, Mark's imminent tv appearance, interest in my novel, an unexpected present, and then lots of little aggros.
Monday 6 August 2012
For lovers of Keats...
Just listening to a programme on the radio, which included Keats' poem On Looking into Chapman's Homer... it reminded me of my favourite silly joke - this parody:
Where was the RSPCA
Upon that memorable day,
When Cortez, stoutest of his men,
Stood silently upon a peke in Darien?
Don't remember who wrote it - but it always makes me laugh.
Where was the RSPCA
Upon that memorable day,
When Cortez, stoutest of his men,
Stood silently upon a peke in Darien?
Don't remember who wrote it - but it always makes me laugh.
Israel vs. Palestine...
I do get a lot of invitations on Facebook etc. to sign up for causes that I don't entirely agree with. The problem is the questions are always polarised... it usually a case that by choosing A you reject/condemn B. The latest one is a move to persuade Google to rename Israel Palestine... this brings up a number of nuanced issues which aren't really accommodated in that request.
Israel is a 2,700ish year old name for parts of that area, Palestine is a 2,000 year+ Roman name for it (or a 2,500 yo Greek name). Latin isn't spoken by the inhabitants of this area today - therefore a Latin name seems inappropriate. Then again, Palestine may be etymologically related to Philistine... the pre-Hebrew residents of Israel... generally regarded in the Bible as a Bad Thing - due, inter alia, to their unpleasant religious practices (sacred prostitutes, child sacrifice etc.) Seriously - would you want a name that referred to that sort of culture? Then again, it might suggest history repeating itself - according to the Bible God gave the Jews Caanan - they were permitted to slay the inhabitants. Surely modern Israelis can't see the Palestinian Arabs as latter-day Philistines... but perhaps the religious nutters do. It is a little sinister how the name has persisted even though Philistia has long gone. Then again, genetically the people of that area must be very similar... can the Jews be so genetically distinct from the Arabs? I know that there are lots of distinctions, but their languages and so on suggest that they have always been related. What was Abraham before he became a "Jew" or at least a monotheist Hebrew patriarch -was he a Hebrew - in the sense of a distinct, different group amongst the Semitic groups living in Chaldea? Surely a member of a Semitic language/culture group? The story of Isaac - I think - indicates the Hebrew rejection of child sacrifice - as a way of distinguishing himself (and his descendents) from this disagreeable early Semitic religious practice... but there is so much I don't know - and I have digressed vastly.
I think the Israeli government stinks, and their policies are appalling, particularly their aggression towards the Palestinian Christians and Muslims who live alongside them.
I think the land was settled unfairly and in an uncontrolled way. The settlers should be removed and/or punished for breaking the agreements made.
I think because of the Holocaust, the Jews needed their "own" country. Israel was the obvious area, but a better agreement/settlement with the arab population should have been made. However, I do think they have a right to be there.
The Israelis adopted the same sort of terrorist tactics to get Israel - but the British crumbled sooner. The Israelis should have agreed to speak to Hammas as soon as they came to power, this would have resulted in a moderation of Hammas's views and greater flexibility in negotiation.
God has a great deal to say in the Hebrew bible about how he wants Israel to be ruled - the words justice, peace and mercy occur frequently. The recent Israeli governments are not living up to this - when the Babylonians conquered Israel it was because the people had turned away from God and were behaving appallingly. Maybe this could happen again...
One of the Hassidic rabbis (whose name escapes me) leads a group which believes that Israel should not have been taken back - that scripturally, the Jews should have waited until it was given to them.... arguably the Balfour Settlement gave it to them, but...
I am aware that I don't know the details, and I should do some research. I wonder how much this obsession with Palestine on the left is anti-semitic?
My own position is this: everything above, an awareness of my own ignorance of the topic, and the mysterious discovery that because of my great-grandmother Sawdie I have the right to go and live in Israel - which I would never ever wish to do. I would rather live in Russia - or any other repressive place. I can understand people being repressive for their own ends and power - I cannot understand how a country which has tied its existence to a historic culture/religion, which in theory seeks to spread justice and peace has become so repressive and unjust and apparently never asks whether there isn't another way.
I won't sign this petition because I feel there are 100s of 1,000s of Israelis who do want justice and peace and a safe place to be Jewish... I won't sign it for them because I hope they will one day come to the surface and change their country to make it a better place for all its citizens and to live in peace with its neighbours.
Israel is a 2,700ish year old name for parts of that area, Palestine is a 2,000 year+ Roman name for it (or a 2,500 yo Greek name). Latin isn't spoken by the inhabitants of this area today - therefore a Latin name seems inappropriate. Then again, Palestine may be etymologically related to Philistine... the pre-Hebrew residents of Israel... generally regarded in the Bible as a Bad Thing - due, inter alia, to their unpleasant religious practices (sacred prostitutes, child sacrifice etc.) Seriously - would you want a name that referred to that sort of culture? Then again, it might suggest history repeating itself - according to the Bible God gave the Jews Caanan - they were permitted to slay the inhabitants. Surely modern Israelis can't see the Palestinian Arabs as latter-day Philistines... but perhaps the religious nutters do. It is a little sinister how the name has persisted even though Philistia has long gone. Then again, genetically the people of that area must be very similar... can the Jews be so genetically distinct from the Arabs? I know that there are lots of distinctions, but their languages and so on suggest that they have always been related. What was Abraham before he became a "Jew" or at least a monotheist Hebrew patriarch -was he a Hebrew - in the sense of a distinct, different group amongst the Semitic groups living in Chaldea? Surely a member of a Semitic language/culture group? The story of Isaac - I think - indicates the Hebrew rejection of child sacrifice - as a way of distinguishing himself (and his descendents) from this disagreeable early Semitic religious practice... but there is so much I don't know - and I have digressed vastly.
I think the Israeli government stinks, and their policies are appalling, particularly their aggression towards the Palestinian Christians and Muslims who live alongside them.
I think the land was settled unfairly and in an uncontrolled way. The settlers should be removed and/or punished for breaking the agreements made.
I think because of the Holocaust, the Jews needed their "own" country. Israel was the obvious area, but a better agreement/settlement with the arab population should have been made. However, I do think they have a right to be there.
The Israelis adopted the same sort of terrorist tactics to get Israel - but the British crumbled sooner. The Israelis should have agreed to speak to Hammas as soon as they came to power, this would have resulted in a moderation of Hammas's views and greater flexibility in negotiation.
God has a great deal to say in the Hebrew bible about how he wants Israel to be ruled - the words justice, peace and mercy occur frequently. The recent Israeli governments are not living up to this - when the Babylonians conquered Israel it was because the people had turned away from God and were behaving appallingly. Maybe this could happen again...
One of the Hassidic rabbis (whose name escapes me) leads a group which believes that Israel should not have been taken back - that scripturally, the Jews should have waited until it was given to them.... arguably the Balfour Settlement gave it to them, but...
I am aware that I don't know the details, and I should do some research. I wonder how much this obsession with Palestine on the left is anti-semitic?
My own position is this: everything above, an awareness of my own ignorance of the topic, and the mysterious discovery that because of my great-grandmother Sawdie I have the right to go and live in Israel - which I would never ever wish to do. I would rather live in Russia - or any other repressive place. I can understand people being repressive for their own ends and power - I cannot understand how a country which has tied its existence to a historic culture/religion, which in theory seeks to spread justice and peace has become so repressive and unjust and apparently never asks whether there isn't another way.
I won't sign this petition because I feel there are 100s of 1,000s of Israelis who do want justice and peace and a safe place to be Jewish... I won't sign it for them because I hope they will one day come to the surface and change their country to make it a better place for all its citizens and to live in peace with its neighbours.
Sunday 5 August 2012
Even more knackered...
Today Ned and I made a tremendous attack on Jane's garden - we removed a vast amount of bramble, wild rose, ivy, plum suckers which have reverted to a blackthorn... light has now penetrated some areas. Tomorrow we are going back for a further hour and will do some terrible unorganic herbicide spraying on the ivy and brambles. What a treat!
After two hours - with a break for drinks - I was completely knackered - I ache in the places I used to play as Leonard Cohen used to say... I spent some of the afternoon lying down, but found bending down to unpack the shopping agony - ah well, lie back and think of the muscle definition...
Tomorrow - after gardening and coffee with D, a trip to the beach is in order I think. There is a beautiful full moon - glorious sunset and it's going to be sunny tomorrow. Happy!
After two hours - with a break for drinks - I was completely knackered - I ache in the places I used to play as Leonard Cohen used to say... I spent some of the afternoon lying down, but found bending down to unpack the shopping agony - ah well, lie back and think of the muscle definition...
Tomorrow - after gardening and coffee with D, a trip to the beach is in order I think. There is a beautiful full moon - glorious sunset and it's going to be sunny tomorrow. Happy!
Wednesday 1 August 2012
The Higgs Boson - An Apology
I may have suggested elsewhere in this blog that perhaps the Higgs Boson was just a bit of wishful thinking by theoretical physicists invented to support the crumbly structure of their philosophy... Ok, they have sort of found it - well Prof. Higgs is satisfied... so I have clearly developed an arrogant and ignorant critique of the whole theoretical physics project based on nothing more than my crazed prejudices and complete ignorance and low level of mathematical understanding.... will that do?
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