I think something I might try and deal with occasionally is the ageing process. Obviously it begins in earnest in one's 50's, and periodically I have a mini-crisis which makes me feel really weak and ancient. Because of losing weight and feeling more active, recently I haven't suffered much age-related angst, but all it needed was a toe collapse yesterday for me to revert to this state. My second toe on my right foot began hurting when I was walking home, there was a little pop of some sort and it began to hurt when I put it on the pavement. I limped about Waitrose and bought some food, but succumbed and asked M to come and collect me.
After that I didn't notice much, but this morning it was hurting again - a sort of ache, and numbness. I decided to try and work out what it was - but while I was briefly intrigued by the prospect of bursitis, terrified that it might be gout, or neuropathy, in the end I couldn't quite diagnose it. None of these are terribly desirable ailments, I worried that it was arthritis - I occasionally get mild arthritic pain in my little fingers, so the toes struck me as another possible site for it. However, perhaps, and this is what I'm hoping, it's just a bit of ligament trouble - unpleasant, but not quite such a symbol of deterioration.
I am winging it, this ageing business - much to be thankful for the continuing presence of oestrogen in my system - so the skin's OK, and there are occasional spots of blood to show it hasn't all packed up completely, so I'm not even tempted by the thought of HRT. Most of the physical problems I have are connected with being overweight - and that is slowly being sorted out. So although I sometimes feel twinges, most of the time I am in denial about it.
After that I didn't notice much, but this morning it was hurting again - a sort of ache, and numbness. I decided to try and work out what it was - but while I was briefly intrigued by the prospect of bursitis, terrified that it might be gout, or neuropathy, in the end I couldn't quite diagnose it. None of these are terribly desirable ailments, I worried that it was arthritis - I occasionally get mild arthritic pain in my little fingers, so the toes struck me as another possible site for it. However, perhaps, and this is what I'm hoping, it's just a bit of ligament trouble - unpleasant, but not quite such a symbol of deterioration.
I am winging it, this ageing business - much to be thankful for the continuing presence of oestrogen in my system - so the skin's OK, and there are occasional spots of blood to show it hasn't all packed up completely, so I'm not even tempted by the thought of HRT. Most of the physical problems I have are connected with being overweight - and that is slowly being sorted out. So although I sometimes feel twinges, most of the time I am in denial about it.
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