I can only think that is why I am feeling in such a slump today. I decided that I would have a day off from TRF - having submitted the 1st 3 Chs yesterday and planning shortly to review the re-written passages.
I felt undermotivated when I got up and didn't do any of the things I said I'd do, but at least I did walk to Ww class, only to find I'd put on another pound - despite having been v. good last week - no extras, hardly any wine - etc. I went to the shops with Clare, M came along and was clearly not at his most cheery - then I wolfed down a small but perfectly formed lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon starving and trying to work out why (a) I didn't want to do any of the things I'd said I'd do today (b) why I didn't apparently want to do anything - even listen to Radio 4.
Eventually I settled down to read Chapter 4 of Claudius's Elephants - which is full of good stuff, but - as is often the case with M's work - rather ramshackle in structure in places. However - I promised to edit it for him - so that should be a distraction.
I was in such a bad mood at one point that I thought I would write a chicklit novel in 30 days about a couple who are splitting up but are stuck with each other - and can't afford it. She loses her job, he makes Airfix kits all day long - she pulls herself up by her brastraps and starts a catering business - and eventually gets enough money together to leave him - having of course attracted the attention of her attractive client - chiefly by tipping a tray of stuffed eggs over him... etc. I think I could do it - whether I would want to acknowledge it would be another thing, but after writing 300 words I got a bit bored... I really wasn't in the mood for writing today - which is a bit like saying I wasn't in the mood for eating or drinking -
So, today's achievements: I walked for 15 mins, I did the shopping, I made supper, I prepared a PR and I did this blog. I also slightly cheered up a depressed friend - oh yes, there are clinically depressed chums who are worse than me... and perhaps I can help her when I see her tomorrow.
I think I am annoyed because this was a day that could have been for me - yet I had not appetite to do anything... I felt quite cheerful when I turned up at St. Luke's for the class...it was downhill from there.
This evening, having eaten virtually nothing, I succumbed to a gin - and discovered, because I actually measured it, that my "small gin" is a pub double - I need to go and get some small gin tumblers - I've already moved to smaller dinner plates and smaller wine glasses - and eating puddings from ramekins rather than soup bowls (not that I eat puddings any more).
I am just incredibly angry - why can't I get below X stone - why does my body drag me back every time I go over the edge?
Maybe a bath will help relax me and make me feel better and stop me feeling just so darn cross.
I felt undermotivated when I got up and didn't do any of the things I said I'd do, but at least I did walk to Ww class, only to find I'd put on another pound - despite having been v. good last week - no extras, hardly any wine - etc. I went to the shops with Clare, M came along and was clearly not at his most cheery - then I wolfed down a small but perfectly formed lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon starving and trying to work out why (a) I didn't want to do any of the things I'd said I'd do today (b) why I didn't apparently want to do anything - even listen to Radio 4.
Eventually I settled down to read Chapter 4 of Claudius's Elephants - which is full of good stuff, but - as is often the case with M's work - rather ramshackle in structure in places. However - I promised to edit it for him - so that should be a distraction.
I was in such a bad mood at one point that I thought I would write a chicklit novel in 30 days about a couple who are splitting up but are stuck with each other - and can't afford it. She loses her job, he makes Airfix kits all day long - she pulls herself up by her brastraps and starts a catering business - and eventually gets enough money together to leave him - having of course attracted the attention of her attractive client - chiefly by tipping a tray of stuffed eggs over him... etc. I think I could do it - whether I would want to acknowledge it would be another thing, but after writing 300 words I got a bit bored... I really wasn't in the mood for writing today - which is a bit like saying I wasn't in the mood for eating or drinking -
So, today's achievements: I walked for 15 mins, I did the shopping, I made supper, I prepared a PR and I did this blog. I also slightly cheered up a depressed friend - oh yes, there are clinically depressed chums who are worse than me... and perhaps I can help her when I see her tomorrow.
I think I am annoyed because this was a day that could have been for me - yet I had not appetite to do anything... I felt quite cheerful when I turned up at St. Luke's for the class...it was downhill from there.
This evening, having eaten virtually nothing, I succumbed to a gin - and discovered, because I actually measured it, that my "small gin" is a pub double - I need to go and get some small gin tumblers - I've already moved to smaller dinner plates and smaller wine glasses - and eating puddings from ramekins rather than soup bowls (not that I eat puddings any more).
I am just incredibly angry - why can't I get below X stone - why does my body drag me back every time I go over the edge?
Maybe a bath will help relax me and make me feel better and stop me feeling just so darn cross.
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