I haven't written about the care home, or rather I have, elsewhere. I have been doing a few hours work in a local care home for adults with mental health problems. These are the people who would have been institutionalised in mental hospitals years ago - not in our great care in the community culture they are institutionalised in care homes. Some of them are more institutionalised than others.
The whole experience has been both shocking and delightful. A few weeks ago I did my first lone session with them - half an hour with the dementia ward, and about 45 minutes with the others. The dementia ward are apparently happy with a few verses of the hokey-cokey, a game of catch, a game of quoits and some half remembered songs : "Who knows a song with a man's name in?" "Henery 8th" so we drag out as much of it as we can remember (it's a miracle to me how much we do remember - were were singing "Lily of Laguna" the other day, I didn't even know I knew it). Then I went over to the others, did some word games, and finishing lines - and some bits of songs - and left them wanting more... I left and sat in the car and felt really exhilarated. I had been jumping about during the catch game and making them laugh - and singing and doing silly voices... they love it if I do a line of Shakespeare in a melodramatic voice Hamlet, I am thy father's ghost, doomed to walk this earth... I've probably misquoted. I loved it, because I had briefly made them happy, amused them. And they are not happy, and doing that, if only for half an hour, was great. But it was also hard work. I am a very sociable person, I enjoy conversation - but there is an intensity in this situation - one has to be so careful - I can be only a limited version of myself, punches have to be pulled.
In some ways it's easy, they are adults, but their tastes are those of children on the whole - I needn't worry about whether they will have heard about Marx's theory of surplus value, or Montaigne's essays - and whether they'll think I'm pretentious if I mention them. They won't have, and I won't mention them. Nevertheless, it's a strain trying to hold oneself back - and also they have needs, and they are sensitive hurt, sometimes angry people - one can't go in and "perform" one has to engage with them. And that's the work - what I'd really like to do is just go in and visit them. Not be jumping about all jazz hands and jokes - and yet, yet, I love to make them laugh - I love it more than making anyone else laugh - because it's so rare and special. If I don't go in, I can't do that.
There is a very sickening reason for not going in though - it can be a bit boring. Of course I do boring things all day - unpaid, so doing something boring for money ought to be more palatable. Then again, once I begin to know them I can see which of them will begin to annoy me... and how will I stop this? And I find it extremmely hard that I often can't understand what they are saying - their voices are often slurred - from their medication, or because they are lacking in the tooth department.
I am learning something about myself - there will be more work eventually - but not a 3.5hour session on a Friday afternoon. I am learning something about my employer too. She is a boss - and making the transition from a friend to her employee is difficult. I suspect she would like me to do volunteering for some of the projects I do with her - but I am pretty adamant at the moment that I am not giving up precious time for free just now. I need to send off half a dozen submissions before the end of the month - and then get on with decorating the house for Christmas (papering the hall, painting the doors, putting up the curtain, repainting the bathroom etc.).
The whole experience has been both shocking and delightful. A few weeks ago I did my first lone session with them - half an hour with the dementia ward, and about 45 minutes with the others. The dementia ward are apparently happy with a few verses of the hokey-cokey, a game of catch, a game of quoits and some half remembered songs : "Who knows a song with a man's name in?" "Henery 8th" so we drag out as much of it as we can remember (it's a miracle to me how much we do remember - were were singing "Lily of Laguna" the other day, I didn't even know I knew it). Then I went over to the others, did some word games, and finishing lines - and some bits of songs - and left them wanting more... I left and sat in the car and felt really exhilarated. I had been jumping about during the catch game and making them laugh - and singing and doing silly voices... they love it if I do a line of Shakespeare in a melodramatic voice Hamlet, I am thy father's ghost, doomed to walk this earth... I've probably misquoted. I loved it, because I had briefly made them happy, amused them. And they are not happy, and doing that, if only for half an hour, was great. But it was also hard work. I am a very sociable person, I enjoy conversation - but there is an intensity in this situation - one has to be so careful - I can be only a limited version of myself, punches have to be pulled.
In some ways it's easy, they are adults, but their tastes are those of children on the whole - I needn't worry about whether they will have heard about Marx's theory of surplus value, or Montaigne's essays - and whether they'll think I'm pretentious if I mention them. They won't have, and I won't mention them. Nevertheless, it's a strain trying to hold oneself back - and also they have needs, and they are sensitive hurt, sometimes angry people - one can't go in and "perform" one has to engage with them. And that's the work - what I'd really like to do is just go in and visit them. Not be jumping about all jazz hands and jokes - and yet, yet, I love to make them laugh - I love it more than making anyone else laugh - because it's so rare and special. If I don't go in, I can't do that.
There is a very sickening reason for not going in though - it can be a bit boring. Of course I do boring things all day - unpaid, so doing something boring for money ought to be more palatable. Then again, once I begin to know them I can see which of them will begin to annoy me... and how will I stop this? And I find it extremmely hard that I often can't understand what they are saying - their voices are often slurred - from their medication, or because they are lacking in the tooth department.
I am learning something about myself - there will be more work eventually - but not a 3.5hour session on a Friday afternoon. I am learning something about my employer too. She is a boss - and making the transition from a friend to her employee is difficult. I suspect she would like me to do volunteering for some of the projects I do with her - but I am pretty adamant at the moment that I am not giving up precious time for free just now. I need to send off half a dozen submissions before the end of the month - and then get on with decorating the house for Christmas (papering the hall, painting the doors, putting up the curtain, repainting the bathroom etc.).
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