Not writing

Well, I am not doing Conscience - I should be, I have the time, but I am not.  I have to say "Why?"

At the moment I am feeling very churned up as a result of an unpleasant client who is dictating what archaeology we should do and when and how much he is willing to pay us.  We finally decided we had had enough, and said if he couldn't agree to our reasonable request then we would have to agree to not work together.   I don't know if it's him or us - I think it is him, he seems to try and chip something away every time he emails us.  So we now have another bit of no money coming in.  Oh Lord, and the possible Turkish student didn't turn up yesterday - so that little bit of dosh isn't there.   I am being driven mad by this, what on earth can we do?   Better check the lottery tickets, but really.

Actually, I have a feeling if I wrote it would distract me from the sorrows of the world, and maybe I would feel better.  But I cannot stand these false dawns, things change so rapidly - one minute there is a great prospect of money or success or new work, and the next minute it's whisked away.  It's about time things got better.   Things have been really grim since summer 2009 - money, health, relationships, I began to loose resilience last summer - just couldn't go on, so started the medication.  Now I feel better and tougher, fairly resilient, but I need things to change properly, not just seeing a door open, making for it, and then having it slammed and locked before one gets there.   It is beginning to have a nightmarish quality. 

Well, I will go and do a bit of writing - if reading a good novel can distract one, how much more so writing one?