Well - I am trying to work out why... can it be alcohol? Could it be 3 or 4 hours of hard and interesting talk with people... can it be the general bonhomie engendered by being in the UpDown Gallery with lots of pleasant free wine circulating. Is it the fact that I managed to finish all the bumf about the Open Studios - er, well, what...? The truth is that I am full of love and compassion for everyone.... even dear Mark, who does give good chat when we go out. The fact that people love meeting archaeologists and are interested in what they do is great.
When we came home we found Finn hanging around outside the house. We didn't have our phones so he couldn't call us, but we found him in time, went in, sat and had coffee and drinks with him and chatted pleasantly. We were all 3 of us rather drunk. But it was a jolly, amenable time.
I had an insight into poor old Ned, he always feels slightly in the wrong. I think it's because he's got an inherited tendency to certain characteristics, and these characteristics are at odds with the prevailing "culture" in our family. Which leads on to questions of why the culture is at odds with our temperament and the answer is, to some extent because I set the culture, but it's a culture Mark approves of, and Mark is at pains to conform to it - Finn fits it easily because he's temperamentally similar to me, but Ned naturally wants to rebel against it - because he must rebel against something, but finds himself rebelling against something fundamentally agreeable - so he is made to feel in the wrong a great deal. I don't wish it to be like this, but it did provide me with a great idea about how families work. It feeds the work.... But the problem is for Ned, not feeling he quite fits, makes him feel unloved and everything. I hope he doesn't feel, as some children do, that he doesn't "belong" - but then again, I often felt I didn't "belong" as a child. It's not an exceptional way to feel, but perhaps that feeling of not belonging makes one (as adopted children often are) very keen to stamp your own pattern on your family when you create one.
When we came home we found Finn hanging around outside the house. We didn't have our phones so he couldn't call us, but we found him in time, went in, sat and had coffee and drinks with him and chatted pleasantly. We were all 3 of us rather drunk. But it was a jolly, amenable time.
I had an insight into poor old Ned, he always feels slightly in the wrong. I think it's because he's got an inherited tendency to certain characteristics, and these characteristics are at odds with the prevailing "culture" in our family. Which leads on to questions of why the culture is at odds with our temperament and the answer is, to some extent because I set the culture, but it's a culture Mark approves of, and Mark is at pains to conform to it - Finn fits it easily because he's temperamentally similar to me, but Ned naturally wants to rebel against it - because he must rebel against something, but finds himself rebelling against something fundamentally agreeable - so he is made to feel in the wrong a great deal. I don't wish it to be like this, but it did provide me with a great idea about how families work. It feeds the work.... But the problem is for Ned, not feeling he quite fits, makes him feel unloved and everything. I hope he doesn't feel, as some children do, that he doesn't "belong" - but then again, I often felt I didn't "belong" as a child. It's not an exceptional way to feel, but perhaps that feeling of not belonging makes one (as adopted children often are) very keen to stamp your own pattern on your family when you create one.
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