Well, I woke up feeling better, but I still feel physically exhausted for some reason. I couldn't hack walking to the Turner - so having nearly got there we walked back again. I went to see Denise and had a good chat with her, and that made me feel a lot better. I drank a good deal today, about a bottle - which is more than I've been drinking recently - indeed in the week before Edward's funeral I drank almost nothing.
Today I was torn between thinking it would help and that it would make me more depressed. Finn kindly offered me some dope... not sure if that's the answer, don't really like skunk. I began to go a bit down hill in the early evening - uncharacteristically overwhelmed by having to make pizza for 7 people - but it all worked out in the end...think I'll have cold pizza for breakfast tomorrow. I am not feeling brilliant, but I do not currently want to kill myself...so that's a bit of a result.
This morning M attempted to console me about my novel and said it "needed something" towards the end. I then read him the two major scenes that change the book - and noticed that one of them was a bit repetitive - and that both of them made him laugh in places. So that's good. He said I had got the man's viewpoint very well - the wriggling out of things, the not thinking far enough ahead, not taking the woman's needs into consideration. So that was gratifying too. Perhaps I will find an agent soon.
Today I was torn between thinking it would help and that it would make me more depressed. Finn kindly offered me some dope... not sure if that's the answer, don't really like skunk. I began to go a bit down hill in the early evening - uncharacteristically overwhelmed by having to make pizza for 7 people - but it all worked out in the end...think I'll have cold pizza for breakfast tomorrow. I am not feeling brilliant, but I do not currently want to kill myself...so that's a bit of a result.
This morning M attempted to console me about my novel and said it "needed something" towards the end. I then read him the two major scenes that change the book - and noticed that one of them was a bit repetitive - and that both of them made him laugh in places. So that's good. He said I had got the man's viewpoint very well - the wriggling out of things, the not thinking far enough ahead, not taking the woman's needs into consideration. So that was gratifying too. Perhaps I will find an agent soon.
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