This is not a new revelation, but I am putting it here as an aide memoire.... ultimately if I want to change my life I have to change myself. I thought in the last few years I had put in plenty of changing self type activity. But clearly more is needed.
It is hard to see exactly what one needs to do, one is so mired in oneself. I know "should work harder" "could do better" type comments, but I need to see some more concrete way to achieve this. One thing I need to deal with is getting angry with myself. I need to stop procrastinating - so much that I cannot actually do anything else. I mean all the time I spend trying to drown out the voices which say "get on with it, do it now!" I waste time, because I don't do the thing I urgently need to do - or because I don't have time to do it all, therefore I wait until I have enough hours to do it (tax return springs to mind). So... how do I get over that? And dealing with all the anger that's directed at myself - how can I stop that? How can I deal with things so I don't get angry with myself for not dealing with them.
It is hard to see exactly what one needs to do, one is so mired in oneself. I know "should work harder" "could do better" type comments, but I need to see some more concrete way to achieve this. One thing I need to deal with is getting angry with myself. I need to stop procrastinating - so much that I cannot actually do anything else. I mean all the time I spend trying to drown out the voices which say "get on with it, do it now!" I waste time, because I don't do the thing I urgently need to do - or because I don't have time to do it all, therefore I wait until I have enough hours to do it (tax return springs to mind). So... how do I get over that? And dealing with all the anger that's directed at myself - how can I stop that? How can I deal with things so I don't get angry with myself for not dealing with them.
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