In the last few days I have written a few things about my mother in law to friends. I am going to keep one or two of the more pithy comments here. The rather interesting thing is that until the row, my writing and everything was getting rather depressed, I didn't have the urge to write. Now, being liberated from the yoke of having to be nice to someone I don't particularly like, I have a nice, surging wave of annoyance to push myself onwards, and I am allowing my frustrations in various areas to open up and get dealt with. Perhaps I should be grateful to S - perhaps this is the sort of liberating/turning point event that is forced on you. Is it the only one, or will there be more? I suppose I have already had a revelation about relationships etc. in May, perhaps this is something to do with Full Moons...
I like to think I don't harbour grudges, but this is not a grudge - this is a final liberation of spirit... I've been pussyfooting around the beastly woman for too long...After going on at me about my various character defects (only 2 actually) she then said "I never start rows" - it must be lovely to be too stupid to have any real degree of self-criticism!.
* Had a brief chat at Weightwatchers today with lovely vicar's wife who is the clerk there... she said her mother in law thoroughly hated her too - so she tried to kill her with kindness and thinks after 22 years it may be beginning to work....personally, I feel Stella hasn't even noticed, and/or thinks I'm a mug... so I think "if they will not receive you, or listen to your words.... brush the dust off your feet..." Matthew 10.14. Can't say I haven't tried.
* WTF is her problem. I know she's officially brain dead so perhaps that's the problem... Mark has offered to beef up her "obituary" for the Ham and High because it was a pathetic, inadequate (almost damning with faint praise) sort of text... and that narked her too. I don't think she wants Ed to have any postumous love or credit at all. Apparently the death announcement for the Telegraph will cost £300 - so much more important than having wine at lunch isn't it!!!
* I think the thing I've always disliked about S is her dismissive attitude to other people - especially her own family, not wanting to include people - always wanting to control numbers at events in case people get together and start comparing notes I suspect! She is truly pathetic now - as elderly bullies often are... but I think we are all too guilt-tripped by this to ever confront her. M said she was genuinely shocked when he told her how tactless and rude she'd been to me in the past. He thinks she doesn't do it deliberately, that it's all just tactlessnes and stupidity - I think it's quite deliberate and strategic - then she plays the poor defenceless old woman card.
* I may be made of stern stuff - or rather, have become more resilient as time goes on - but it hasn't stopped me from rather pathetically expecting better of Stella... What I saw today - despite all the "yes, buts" about her situation, has changed that. It was a tipping point, I will do everything I can, but as little as possible... if you see what I mean. I don't feel I need to forgive her, I think her behaviour is just her behaviour - I mean, I'm not sulking or anything, I will be speaking to her, I will presumably be receiving her here with the rest of the family on Sept 21st... so life will go on on the surface, it's just that I don't think I will be ever expecting or hoping better of her again.
I like to think I don't harbour grudges, but this is not a grudge - this is a final liberation of spirit... I've been pussyfooting around the beastly woman for too long...After going on at me about my various character defects (only 2 actually) she then said "I never start rows" - it must be lovely to be too stupid to have any real degree of self-criticism!.
* Had a brief chat at Weightwatchers today with lovely vicar's wife who is the clerk there... she said her mother in law thoroughly hated her too - so she tried to kill her with kindness and thinks after 22 years it may be beginning to work....personally, I feel Stella hasn't even noticed, and/or thinks I'm a mug... so I think "if they will not receive you, or listen to your words.... brush the dust off your feet..." Matthew 10.14. Can't say I haven't tried.
* WTF is her problem. I know she's officially brain dead so perhaps that's the problem... Mark has offered to beef up her "obituary" for the Ham and High because it was a pathetic, inadequate (almost damning with faint praise) sort of text... and that narked her too. I don't think she wants Ed to have any postumous love or credit at all. Apparently the death announcement for the Telegraph will cost £300 - so much more important than having wine at lunch isn't it!!!
* I think the thing I've always disliked about S is her dismissive attitude to other people - especially her own family, not wanting to include people - always wanting to control numbers at events in case people get together and start comparing notes I suspect! She is truly pathetic now - as elderly bullies often are... but I think we are all too guilt-tripped by this to ever confront her. M said she was genuinely shocked when he told her how tactless and rude she'd been to me in the past. He thinks she doesn't do it deliberately, that it's all just tactlessnes and stupidity - I think it's quite deliberate and strategic - then she plays the poor defenceless old woman card.
* I may be made of stern stuff - or rather, have become more resilient as time goes on - but it hasn't stopped me from rather pathetically expecting better of Stella... What I saw today - despite all the "yes, buts" about her situation, has changed that. It was a tipping point, I will do everything I can, but as little as possible... if you see what I mean. I don't feel I need to forgive her, I think her behaviour is just her behaviour - I mean, I'm not sulking or anything, I will be speaking to her, I will presumably be receiving her here with the rest of the family on Sept 21st... so life will go on on the surface, it's just that I don't think I will be ever expecting or hoping better of her again.
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