For some time I've felt that S, my business partner was not exactly pulling her weight, she had not been initiating anything, or doing anything for a long time, and had been reluctant to meet, or generally create any momentum in "the business" at all. I was feeling grumpy and cross about this, and thinking, well maybe it's my paranoia, perhaps she's just busy, but at the same time my nasty forensic talents were questioning this, thinking that the many excuses she made for what she was doing instead of getting on with business were getting increasingly pathetic, and realising that if she thought this was a business, she wasn't treating it like one - and a couple of weeks ago when she said she had a social event to go to rather than going to network at the food festival, I really felt it was the last straw.
When I began this blog I called it SchmoozySchlepper because that was how I jokingly described what we were doing... anyone who reads it will see that there has been precious little of either for some time, apart from my sterling efforts for Ramsgate Arts. I needed a partner because I needed someone to pull me along when I felt apathetic and uncertain - now I feel I have been doing all the pulling - and if I felt apathetic/uncertain no one else took up the challenge. I guess I misjudged her, I thought she was a bit more dynamic and pro-active than she was; I think I also thought she was a bit more experienced in the marketing world than she was - obviously she's put in the years - but I wonder at what sort of level exactly. It now appears that she has lost interest in the whole project and is unwilling to put any more energy into it. I don't think I'm wrong - some of this maybe my fault for giving her "permission" to get a job some time ago, but what I feel annoyed about is that she doesn't seem to have the guts to tell me what she's up to, or to address the issue at all. I tried to raise the "lack of enthusiasm" last time we met - about 3 weeks ago - but she didn't bite. I'm sure she's up to something.
At least I am beginning to feel a bit more confident about the direction I should be taking - there's no reason I shouldn't carry on the business to the best of my abilities, and if I get work, that's great and if not, not. And can get on with the Magazne idea...and the books. What would be amusing is if the whole thing took off like a rocket once she'd dropped out - but I think we can safely consign that to the realms of fanstasy.
The next question is, shall re-write The Romantic Feminist in 3rd person - or shall I carry on sending it around. Maybe one last effort - send it to [I've removed this name for reasons of paranoia]- and then see what happens. At the moment my urge is to do the re-write - because it will be enjoyable.
When I began this blog I called it SchmoozySchlepper because that was how I jokingly described what we were doing... anyone who reads it will see that there has been precious little of either for some time, apart from my sterling efforts for Ramsgate Arts. I needed a partner because I needed someone to pull me along when I felt apathetic and uncertain - now I feel I have been doing all the pulling - and if I felt apathetic/uncertain no one else took up the challenge. I guess I misjudged her, I thought she was a bit more dynamic and pro-active than she was; I think I also thought she was a bit more experienced in the marketing world than she was - obviously she's put in the years - but I wonder at what sort of level exactly. It now appears that she has lost interest in the whole project and is unwilling to put any more energy into it. I don't think I'm wrong - some of this maybe my fault for giving her "permission" to get a job some time ago, but what I feel annoyed about is that she doesn't seem to have the guts to tell me what she's up to, or to address the issue at all. I tried to raise the "lack of enthusiasm" last time we met - about 3 weeks ago - but she didn't bite. I'm sure she's up to something.
At least I am beginning to feel a bit more confident about the direction I should be taking - there's no reason I shouldn't carry on the business to the best of my abilities, and if I get work, that's great and if not, not. And can get on with the Magazne idea...and the books. What would be amusing is if the whole thing took off like a rocket once she'd dropped out - but I think we can safely consign that to the realms of fanstasy.
The next question is, shall re-write The Romantic Feminist in 3rd person - or shall I carry on sending it around. Maybe one last effort - send it to [I've removed this name for reasons of paranoia]- and then see what happens. At the moment my urge is to do the re-write - because it will be enjoyable.
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