Ok, forget everything I said yesterday - nothing in the world matters except having a healthy, loving family/friends. This morning I discovered that my favourite cousin S, has "widespread" cancer. He sent an early morning email. I thought before I opened it that it was something ominous. It is an absolute disaster. Of course I hope and want him to recover but I've had sanguine feelings about other people's cancers when they've told me - expected them to get well, and this time I don't. I hope I'm wrong and that my rather negative feeling is just due to the generally depressing nature of life at the moment, which is clouding my judgement.
I rang my father. He seemed depressed too. Perhaps I should stop blogging and go back to bed and stay there for a day of mourning and grief. My friend L's truly obnoxious old father died last week - a man who only remained alive through his own horrifying demandingness, as far as I could see. I only encountered him once, mercifully, but none of the local care providers would work for him he was so difficult. It is one of life's anomalies that someone like that lives into their 90s, while S who is one of the kindest, most thoughtful people should be threatened with death in his 50's.
When he came to my mother's funeral we all agreed we should have family picnics to meet up occasionally - and we duly had one in 2010. The idea was that funerals shouldn't be our only chance of family reunions. I didn't think about one this year, thought it might be too soon - now I wish we had, as I don't know if S will be well enough next spring but he may be. Prayer, prayer, prayer and more prayer is all we can do.
I rang my father. He seemed depressed too. Perhaps I should stop blogging and go back to bed and stay there for a day of mourning and grief. My friend L's truly obnoxious old father died last week - a man who only remained alive through his own horrifying demandingness, as far as I could see. I only encountered him once, mercifully, but none of the local care providers would work for him he was so difficult. It is one of life's anomalies that someone like that lives into their 90s, while S who is one of the kindest, most thoughtful people should be threatened with death in his 50's.
When he came to my mother's funeral we all agreed we should have family picnics to meet up occasionally - and we duly had one in 2010. The idea was that funerals shouldn't be our only chance of family reunions. I didn't think about one this year, thought it might be too soon - now I wish we had, as I don't know if S will be well enough next spring but he may be. Prayer, prayer, prayer and more prayer is all we can do.
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