today I finally got a reply from The Agent - and she said "not like this, like that..." which meant basically that the last 65,000 words have been not wasted exactly, but rather otiose. There is stuff in there I will rescue - but a lot of it will go....
What this also means is that I'm a lot further off from having a book with an agent who is trying to sell it... I am really grateful for all the support and prodding I'm getting from her, but if she doesn't like the finished project it's back to square 1. I feel frustrated because our financial problems are becoming rather frightening... Mark still has no work, we haven't borrowed any more from Ned, but we may have to... and we didn't pay the mortgage this month... ok, we have another 15 days, but I don't imagine £600 is going to mysteriously emerge from somewhere...so we may borrow it from Ned - or we may risk our luck. I know that a rapid response from a publisher isn't going to happen just like that, but today's email was important - and while I'm sure I'll end up with a better book in the end, it means another couple of months realistically before I can really produce the goods. I still believe it will be published by next autumn, but I'm so worried in the short term about things, that a delay like this adds to the anxiety.
I know - in my heart of hearts - that it will be all right in the long run, but sometimes the situation seems particularly awful...and for some reason I have felt rather low the last few days.
My solution to all this is to go back on an Atkins type diet - and to stop drinking. I don't drink an enormous amount but the last few days - Sunday, last night and tonight have sort of accumulated....now I feel all wrong... I'll probably feel better in the morning.
Apologies for gloom - should be feeling pleased the The Agent is still approving my oeuvre...and that I have already got 6,555 words down (including a lot of re-cycled stuff, but also some rather good new intro work...).
What this also means is that I'm a lot further off from having a book with an agent who is trying to sell it... I am really grateful for all the support and prodding I'm getting from her, but if she doesn't like the finished project it's back to square 1. I feel frustrated because our financial problems are becoming rather frightening... Mark still has no work, we haven't borrowed any more from Ned, but we may have to... and we didn't pay the mortgage this month... ok, we have another 15 days, but I don't imagine £600 is going to mysteriously emerge from somewhere...so we may borrow it from Ned - or we may risk our luck. I know that a rapid response from a publisher isn't going to happen just like that, but today's email was important - and while I'm sure I'll end up with a better book in the end, it means another couple of months realistically before I can really produce the goods. I still believe it will be published by next autumn, but I'm so worried in the short term about things, that a delay like this adds to the anxiety.
I know - in my heart of hearts - that it will be all right in the long run, but sometimes the situation seems particularly awful...and for some reason I have felt rather low the last few days.
My solution to all this is to go back on an Atkins type diet - and to stop drinking. I don't drink an enormous amount but the last few days - Sunday, last night and tonight have sort of accumulated....now I feel all wrong... I'll probably feel better in the morning.
Apologies for gloom - should be feeling pleased the The Agent is still approving my oeuvre...and that I have already got 6,555 words down (including a lot of re-cycled stuff, but also some rather good new intro work...).
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