Spent a lovely evening with Alexander - first he came here to collect his plants, then I went over to his house to admire his garden and drink his gin. He is having a fiscal crisis and gin is all he has left to drink. First we had Plymouth gin - and then London gin - a very different one, definitely not Gordons, didn't discover what it was: perhaps it was French or Belgian gin.
I think 1:1 Alexander is easier to get on with - it isn't that he's less challenging in some of the things he says, but if you're the only person there, one can argue with him amicably without putting him down in front of other people. I really enjoy talking to him, but he is extravagantly sexist at times. Mark very kindly came and collected me, I was prepared to walk home, but I was getting chilly. Summer clothes are now out - but occasionally not enough are on.
Life is almost normal at present, there is shopping, cooking, gardening, and even bits of work for the Summer Squall. I have done my first PR for it, and written an article for the Isle mag. I also had several hectic meetings about Squall in the Park... which isn't going to happen this year, a blessed release really. Tomorrow I must do finance and cleaning. As I said, life is normal. I am not writing, I am having a break. I do need to read more and research more before trying to do this rather challenging thing.
When I feel happy, I sometimes have this inner voice saying "I'm in love"... I think it's just a memory of the past, an echo of how I used to feel. It's a sunny day, expansive feeling... and its aftermath is a kind of sadness because even if I am (not sure about that) it's not reciprocated. I definitely feel happy now - somehow love ought to be part of it. A and I were discussing (or rather he was) why one ought to be able to be celibate at this point in life, once one had had children. I did not confide in him, he regards me as "grounded" i.e. married with children, stable etc. "Uninteresting" may be what he really meant. Perhaps it was just his way of reminding me that greater intellectual intimacy didn't imply any other kind of intimacy. As if.... much as I like him, he doesn't have the kind of mind I'd fall in love with. I'd still like someone to explore new ideas with - I'd still like some time to explore new ideas. More and more I fantasize about lying on the bed reading a book all day. Soon I will I think.
I think 1:1 Alexander is easier to get on with - it isn't that he's less challenging in some of the things he says, but if you're the only person there, one can argue with him amicably without putting him down in front of other people. I really enjoy talking to him, but he is extravagantly sexist at times. Mark very kindly came and collected me, I was prepared to walk home, but I was getting chilly. Summer clothes are now out - but occasionally not enough are on.
Life is almost normal at present, there is shopping, cooking, gardening, and even bits of work for the Summer Squall. I have done my first PR for it, and written an article for the Isle mag. I also had several hectic meetings about Squall in the Park... which isn't going to happen this year, a blessed release really. Tomorrow I must do finance and cleaning. As I said, life is normal. I am not writing, I am having a break. I do need to read more and research more before trying to do this rather challenging thing.
When I feel happy, I sometimes have this inner voice saying "I'm in love"... I think it's just a memory of the past, an echo of how I used to feel. It's a sunny day, expansive feeling... and its aftermath is a kind of sadness because even if I am (not sure about that) it's not reciprocated. I definitely feel happy now - somehow love ought to be part of it. A and I were discussing (or rather he was) why one ought to be able to be celibate at this point in life, once one had had children. I did not confide in him, he regards me as "grounded" i.e. married with children, stable etc. "Uninteresting" may be what he really meant. Perhaps it was just his way of reminding me that greater intellectual intimacy didn't imply any other kind of intimacy. As if.... much as I like him, he doesn't have the kind of mind I'd fall in love with. I'd still like someone to explore new ideas with - I'd still like some time to explore new ideas. More and more I fantasize about lying on the bed reading a book all day. Soon I will I think.
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