For the next two months, but particularly in July - we will have a constant stream of foreign students, which is good financially - but it means we can't go out much. So last night I thought I'd like to go and sit somewhere looking over the sea and watching the sunset. Because I'd been over to Westgate and seen a beautiful sunset on Thursday I thought we would go there - and drink at the Minnis. Finn, Mark and I set off, and we were accompanied by a large cloud.
Although the Minnis represents itself as a gastro pub, it looked remarkably like a normal pub: the lettering on the boards was particularly unattractive. But we only wanted a drink... it was noisy inside - large parties of families having drinks and crisps, so we decided to sit outside - in the teeth of a howling gale. Finn of course had not got a fleece, I was wearing a thin shirt and a cardigan, M had a t-shirt and cotton jacket. We sat there bravely, watching the sky rain onto Herne Bay - and drinking up rapidly when the first drops hit us. We reached the car as it started in earnest.
As soon as we drove south the skies cleared and Ramsgate was bathed in sunlight. I wondered if we should have gone to Pegwell Bay instead - so we drove there - hoping to sit on the terrace. We got out of the car and were knocked over by the wind. We got back into the car and drove home.
I was disappointed by the Minnis - my white wine and soda tasted like cider, Finn asked for Coke, but got Pepsi - it was cheap though.
Sad how one's fantasies are disappointed, even a small one like enjoying a drink, a seaview and a sunset. But even if the weather conditions had been perfect, I might have found it a bit sad. I seem to be so out of sync with Mark these days. When we were driving over, I was enjoying the countryside - such as it is - and the evening light - and he was talking about monastic geometry. I suppose I am lucky to have had such a good education in Gothic architecture - but sometimes I wish we were a little more engaged in the same things. So, perhaps what I have learned is not to fall in love with someone's intellectual interests - their personality - their sympathies are more important. On the whole his sympathies are aligned with mind, but the pessimism and the negativity grind me down. Sometimes I respond inappropriately, irritably to things he says - I wish I didn't. It is simply boredom, I expect I'd feel the same about anyone I'd been with for 20 years, it's not his fault. Yesterday he was talking about his mother, and her snobbery and lack of interest in certain topics. It is a cruel trait - but he has inherited it to some extent. It is good that he was so shocked by her behaviour (I may have said elsewhere that her motto is "Oh, that'll do" when it comes to making an effort). He said she had made a nice meal for his Uncle J and cousin Patrick - I was about to say "What form of sausage did it involve?" when he added "sausage and mash and a salad". She'd clearly pulled all the stops out. But yes, she is 86 - on the other hand the shops are full of nice things one can buy - smoked salmon, etc. which she could well afford. Oh dear, perhaps I should make more allowance for her age - but she's never been that bothered about food - and she's never been one to put herself out.
Oh dear, that's enough moaning. I am feeling a little unhappy when I think about this. I started feeling unhappy when he started talking about architecture last night - a sort of misery came over me. He is so engaged with his work - and I have become increasingly obsessed with mine - but I have to live in the other world as well, I can't just start spouting about the writing - and I don't always want to, I like to internalise and think about it. But the feeling of misery...it was very familiar, I just felt the real consciousness of the lack of compatibility between us. Where did it go? Is it my fault?
Finn did an on-line compatibility quiz for us - we got 75% apparently - so we are likely to stay together. Hmmm. We are, but probably not because of compatibility.
Although the Minnis represents itself as a gastro pub, it looked remarkably like a normal pub: the lettering on the boards was particularly unattractive. But we only wanted a drink... it was noisy inside - large parties of families having drinks and crisps, so we decided to sit outside - in the teeth of a howling gale. Finn of course had not got a fleece, I was wearing a thin shirt and a cardigan, M had a t-shirt and cotton jacket. We sat there bravely, watching the sky rain onto Herne Bay - and drinking up rapidly when the first drops hit us. We reached the car as it started in earnest.
As soon as we drove south the skies cleared and Ramsgate was bathed in sunlight. I wondered if we should have gone to Pegwell Bay instead - so we drove there - hoping to sit on the terrace. We got out of the car and were knocked over by the wind. We got back into the car and drove home.
I was disappointed by the Minnis - my white wine and soda tasted like cider, Finn asked for Coke, but got Pepsi - it was cheap though.
Sad how one's fantasies are disappointed, even a small one like enjoying a drink, a seaview and a sunset. But even if the weather conditions had been perfect, I might have found it a bit sad. I seem to be so out of sync with Mark these days. When we were driving over, I was enjoying the countryside - such as it is - and the evening light - and he was talking about monastic geometry. I suppose I am lucky to have had such a good education in Gothic architecture - but sometimes I wish we were a little more engaged in the same things. So, perhaps what I have learned is not to fall in love with someone's intellectual interests - their personality - their sympathies are more important. On the whole his sympathies are aligned with mind, but the pessimism and the negativity grind me down. Sometimes I respond inappropriately, irritably to things he says - I wish I didn't. It is simply boredom, I expect I'd feel the same about anyone I'd been with for 20 years, it's not his fault. Yesterday he was talking about his mother, and her snobbery and lack of interest in certain topics. It is a cruel trait - but he has inherited it to some extent. It is good that he was so shocked by her behaviour (I may have said elsewhere that her motto is "Oh, that'll do" when it comes to making an effort). He said she had made a nice meal for his Uncle J and cousin Patrick - I was about to say "What form of sausage did it involve?" when he added "sausage and mash and a salad". She'd clearly pulled all the stops out. But yes, she is 86 - on the other hand the shops are full of nice things one can buy - smoked salmon, etc. which she could well afford. Oh dear, perhaps I should make more allowance for her age - but she's never been that bothered about food - and she's never been one to put herself out.
Oh dear, that's enough moaning. I am feeling a little unhappy when I think about this. I started feeling unhappy when he started talking about architecture last night - a sort of misery came over me. He is so engaged with his work - and I have become increasingly obsessed with mine - but I have to live in the other world as well, I can't just start spouting about the writing - and I don't always want to, I like to internalise and think about it. But the feeling of misery...it was very familiar, I just felt the real consciousness of the lack of compatibility between us. Where did it go? Is it my fault?
Finn did an on-line compatibility quiz for us - we got 75% apparently - so we are likely to stay together. Hmmm. We are, but probably not because of compatibility.
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